Well, if there was ever a time and a place to be open and honest it is here and now.

It is never fun to realize you (as in "me" ) have been lying to yourself about certain aspects in your life. But with great realizations comes great responsibility to employ a change. And that change is happening in full swing now. This trip gave me the gentle push to take charge of my own life. So who is in charge now? Me, of course!  

It seems I've always let one thing or another get in the way of my happiness and on top of that I never liked change that much. So, I would dig a rut and sit in it for a while before realizing I was going nowhere. But now, something has clicked and it all makes a lot more sense. I'm feeling good about things in life and that hasn't happened for a long time. I am eternally thankful.

I couldn't agree more. My ego has been fighting this (the DMT experience) all along which is interesting because I've lost count of how many trips there have been. I'm almost appalled that it took this long for me to come to a realization/epiphany.  I guess it could be a blessing in disguise though, I may have never taken the plunge at all if I didn't have some sort of artificial confidence.  But now I clearly understand that that is a horrible and foggy way to go about exploring hyperspace. I'm just glad I don't need or want crutches anymore and I've told my ego to hush for a while...:d