Do you realise what you put me through?

[edge2054]

I took the thread title as a reference more to that lack of appreciation from young children for the things parents do for them.

While I agree with others in this thread that the situation was one of your making, that you turned something simple into something difficult, as a father, I can relate to the general feeling

 

[GoodApollo]

Thanks edge. Yeah the ideal of being a parent is nothing like the reality. If only these little monsters came with an instruction manual lol.

Going to hyperspace was not a good idea on that occasion, however I have learned so much from DMT in a very short space of time that in general I would say that DMT is a very good idea. Just at the appropriate time.

My children have definitely benefited from my renewed focus and love for life. When I become king of the world I will make sure that spice is made available to all new parents.

 

[still seeking]

life is a journey,we all stumble and fall along the way.
one mans error is another man,s quickstep.
no answer to a question can be right or wrong.
only the descion you make.
you are the question and the answer to self.

peace to you brother

 

[autumnsphere]

Wow, spot on signature choice - the lullaby Maynard's mom sang to him as a child, hehe...

Yes, I have a kid, as I mentioned, but I am not judging you in any way. I am just concerned about you.

Actually, to be absolutely honest, DMT is like the ultimate truth for me, and I know that everything that bothers you on Spice, is some attachment YOU NEED TO WORK ON in real life. And what greatest attachment for a mother than the one to her own child? This is the only thing that would make me fear death. Leaving him behind. So... there is something there... definitely.

Also, I was thinking about December 21... I wanna spend it tripping with friends but what if the world really ends (as we know it)? Don't I wanna be with my son? More than anything? Food for thought all this, definitely. Thank you.

 

[GoodApollo]

autumnsphere, Maynard is a legend.

I really appreciate your concern, that's one of the things that make this forum great. There is a great sense of care among the psychedelic community.

As for Dec 21, the truth is no one knows what's going to happen. Don't think about it too much. Honestly though, I really don't think the world is going to end. I found the information from Edgar Cayce very interesting on this matter. If you don't know who that was, he seems to have been able to send his mind to hyperspace and read the Akashic records at will. Check him out if you haven't already.

still seeking, peace to you too brother.

 

[Guyomech]

I think it's great that you started this thread and have sought to learn so much from the experience.

My tripping has slowed WAY down since our daughter arrived. That's for many reasons, but the big one is just my energy level. I feel that it's something I can only do after she is asleep, with my wife available to look after her. I'm then free to retire to the studio building where I can get my hyperspace on without fear of the primal distraction of hearing her suddenly cry (which shuts down all higher thought and replaces it with a need to jump into action).

But I'm always too damned tired by then. So, 3 journeys all year so far. But they've all been great.

We did have a near-fatal choking incident a few months back, where I had to actually perform compressions to dislodge the blockage. A full minute or so of no breathing. My wife had frozen, a deer in the headlights. So if I had not been functional at that time who knows what could have happened- she would have had to snap out of it and figure something out. But this just reinforced my policy of waiting till the baby is asleep, under Mom's care.

I don't judge you for this, and no doubt later in life you will look back at the incident with gratitude. This is how we gain perspective.

 

[oden]

Always good to learn a lesson, i belive you have learned your's
we speak of sitter's alot here...
SITTER'S enough said!

 

[MindRider]

From dad to dad...you're my hero...
I do also balance the tricky art of discovery and family life. Psilocybin at night being the most common.... but my kids are 13 and 16 now.
The aura must have been amazing. As in my colored experience last time I missed a DMT camera.... I need to take pictures out there.

Arrived home from work after collecting my daughter from nursery, my wife attending a course and not back to late. Diligently attended to my daughters needs. Fed her, entertained her, bathed her, told her I loved her and gently rested her head on her pillow and off she went to sleep.

I allowed some time to pass to make sure she was fast asleep and loaded my machine ball into my newly created machine. This was to be the first time I would use it. It worked beautifully.

Launched into hyperspace I was faced with the consciousness of a form I cannot now describe. I was asked my intentions and I replied that I was an explorer and that I was unafraid. I was examined, eyeballed perhaps is a better term, but I remained true. I am the warrior archetype and fear does not come easily although this entity was trying to evoke some. This passed and we settled to contemplate each other. Then from afar I heard a cry. A child's cry. My child's cry!

With all my might I forced myself back into my body. Through space and time I arrived back in my armchair. Still looking at the world through my third eye I entered my daughter's room and saw her tempestuous aura. I asked her what was wrong, she replied dodo (her pacifier). It was under her pillow and i gave it to her. Her aura stilled and she instantly went to sleep. Not even a thank you. She didn't realise how far I had come.

You may think me irresponsible but... I don't have an answer. I was being irresponsible. I shall wait for my wife to come home the next time I hear the call.