I've wanted to replicate that one 40mg experiene staring at a fractal desktop turning 3d and merging with it, because I remember it actually felt nice, like a weird, but pleasurable reality slicing massage.
The fractal I linked was removed from the internet so I found a different but similar one:
And I took the same 40mg. And only felt it very subtly, like my arms feeling weaker, or legs feeling very subtly wobbly when standing.
I realized this was not going to be enough, so I quickly followed with another 40mg.
Sitting didn't feel right, so I laid down on my bed, aaaand...
...this expererience turned out to be mostly the typical salvia confusion.
As I stared into the ceiling, I basically jsut forgot where I am and what I'm doing.
I was halway on an imagined autopilot in a scenario where I was trying to do something in my room, but was very confused even at that couldn't remember what I was supposed to do, then I remembered that I wasn't actually trying to do anything, and I was jsut laying in my bed the whole time staring into the ceiling. But I also slightly felt the pleasurable slicing of those imagined "realities" cutting through my own. And I still felt disappointed and decided to take the rest, which was 55mg of fine poweder, the bottom of the tiny jar, likely had some salvia kief in it too. So I was a little scared if it will be stronger than expected, but when I'm still on salvia comedown and want more it kinda erases that anxiety and I can just take it like nothing.
This third 55mg hit was the one that finally replicated that previous trip I wanted to replicate, and even stronger. It was awesome, but also a little disappointingly weak, at the peak I wished to go a little deeper and feel it stronger.
I tried to remind myself that I'm not supposed to do anything but lay down and enjoy the trip (trying to not get myself into that confusion from 5 minutes ago). Well I still got a little confused, but at least I kept looking at the fractal...
It did a similar thing as before. It became 3D, the center like a tunnel in the distance, felt like it continued beyond the screen and all the way around me, with straight lines cutting it like a pie chart and the 3D continuation of it like into a citrus shape, each slice had a mild visual reality in it, I think an array of houses and a sidewalk or something.
I was confused and not understanding what I'm looking at, then I realized I'm looking at the screen and that the slices were all in my head, but still felt the visuals fading in my imagination even if I didn't really see them anymore and the fractal was inside the screen again.
I still saw the lobes on the fractal move, each one was just moving back and forth on its own, so the the whole fractal looked very wobbly and 3D with each lobe detached. I was still feeling the wobbles and slices of the fractals in my body, as if my body was inside one of those slices with the other other ones sliding around. It felt the same salvia massagey way as before that I liked. Does anyone else like those physical salvia feelings like cutting realities and deforming/stretching. The word sound painful, but it isn't painful at all, as I said, it feels like weird pleasurable massage from the fourth dimension.
Also does anyone else get that anti-anxiety effect? Because I remember mostly seeing the opposite in repost, that salvia makes people scared and anxious. So far it never did that to me, and kinda the opposite. The huge and rapid confusion that it causes when I suddenly don't remember nor understand what I'm doing, where I am and what's happening - should be scary. But I'm so confused that I don't even know if it's supposed to be scary or not, so I jsuit have no emotional reaction whatsoever. I'm just frozen, confused and then I remember and start enjoying it. And if it was weak, I want more and I'm not scared of hitting it again at all (but before the hit I do have the pre-flight anxiety).
People say that that Psychs are mroe euphoric and salvia is dysphoric and scarier. Salvia has so far always been neutral or euphoric for me. I never had a bad trip or unpleasant feelings from salvia. I have had multiple bad trips and unpleasant feelings on Psychedelics and they are generally much more scary or challenging to me even during good trips. But on DMT, I also had few much more pleasurable and beautiful trips than salvia. But also few very uncomfortable and challenging ones. Psychs make me think a lot possibly going into some heavy existential or anxiety territory. Salvia makes me stop thinking and relax and go with the flow even if I completely forget and stop understanding what is going on.
*taps forehead* can't have a bad trip if you're just not thinking and processing anything that's going on (there is still a train of though or even many in parallel thinking weird psychedelics thoughts, but it's dissociated from me and I just don't understand any of those sentences, so they can't bother me). Psychedelics make me feel like everything makes sense even if it gets completely alien, while salvia makes me feel like abosolutely nothing makes sense even if it's completely simple and normal, but it will get alien without me even have a chance at noticing.
But I know that I'm still only taking small doses, I shouldn't get cocky and confident that I'm immune to bad trips on salvia. Maybe I'm immume to them on low doses, the large ones still havea reputation of insane intensity, so I should be careful I think.
It wasn't as intense as if I'd smoked the same amount, but I definitely crossed that threshold of getting detached from my body and saw my thoughts twist a bit. It was more than I was expecting, and I was pleasantly surprised.
