Does your partner share your passion for psychedelics?

[DMTripper]

Great thread

I've been married 10 years and my wife hasn't yet done any psychedelics and has never used any drugs except for alcohol. And she barely ever drinks and when she does she does in moderation.
She has smoked cannabis 2-3 times without feeling effects and she did so 'cause I encouraged her to try it.

But she's very supportive for what I do. She knows psychedelics are not like the damaging drugs. She's from S-America and knows people that do Aya with shamans quite often. And she wants to try that next time we go over there

And she's also willing to do shrooms if the right moment comes.
I used to do shrooms quite often and quite big doses but I don't trip very often now. And for some reason I feel like she should trip with someone else on her first trip. Some friend that hasn't done it before or at least not nearly as much as I have. Someone that would be on her level on that trip. I'm willing to be the sitter. When she has done that I'd love to trip with her if she wants to do that again

So we will trip together some day. And I'm happy 'cause I know it will be very beneficial to our relationship and I want to share that world with her.

On all my best trip since we met I've thought of her and how I'd love for her to be with me enjoying the beauty.
But the last 2 years I've had a few very difficult trips. I've been working out some issues from somewhere deep within my soul. I've made good progress and I know I'm about to finish some work soon. I can feel good times ahead. And I won't trip with my wife until I know I'm through that lesson I'm learning now.
I want to get my confidence again so I can trip with her and take her to some very special beautiful place. I'd hate to need to deal with some dark shit on our first trip together.

Yeah and Tat! Thank you for sharing your story. It was amazing So glad for you guy's

 

[TMK]

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[TMK]

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[TMK]

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[TMK]

So we will trip together some day. And I'm happy 'cause I know it will be very beneficial to our relationship and I want to share that world with her.

On all my best trip since we met I've thought of her and how I'd love for her to be with me enjoying

I think I understand where you're coming from. I feel the same way.

 

[TMK]

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[TMK]

No, for the most part she just tolerates my habits.

No offence at all here..I am just curious..how do you be with someone that simply "tolerates" something like that in your life that must be a big influence/part of your life. I dont know how you can do these things without having it make a large impact in some way.

I dont think I could ever be with a person who simply tolerated this part of me. For me it would not be worth it. I would feel like I am selling myself short for someone who just does not really like a part of me that makes me who I am. They dont have to want to trip with me or be interested in it, but having someone that can support me is important for me. Anything else would be a dealbreaker.

..though I am not you and I my situation is nothing like at. I understand to some degree what that is like and it just really sucked. I was single for about 4.5 years from the time I was 22 to 26 without having any kind of relationship with a girl because I got sick of being in situations like that. I am thankful I got to connect with someone who has roots in the whole psychedelic thing as I do. I guess from my perspective I just cannot imagine just being tolerated so I find it interesting that some people are that situation. Are you happy with that sort of s situation?

Really this is just something I am curious about becasue it is something I perceive often in other peoples relationships and sometimes it seems like the people are forced to sort of lead split lives..maybe thats true of all siutations to some degree though..

For my situation regarding my wife's use of psychedelics or lack there of, It is not ideal. But in a relationship and especially a marriage. There are not always going to be ideal situations. Would I like her boobs to be bigger? Yes. Would it be great if she was interested in having sex like, all the time? Sure. But just because our situation is not my idea of ideal, doesn't mean it's not healthy and doesn't make me happy. Being in an adult relationship means compromise. And though we don't share my love of psychedelics, we still share values and lines of thinking, behavior, hard working, caring for family, and most important to me, sense of humor. She may tolerate my views and use of these medicines, but for her I'm worth it. That makes me feel good. For me, although I cant trip with her, even though I would love to. She is worth it. I love to explore the other worlds behind the doors, even alone. But in this world, where I spend most of my time. She is with me, and that is what really matters to me. Thanks for your interest. :d

 

[jamie]

When I say "tolerate" I dont mean someone that just chooses not to trip with you. That is their choice. To me tolerating something means you dont like it, but you sort of endure it anyway. So, in the context of this thread when someone says there partner simply tolerates their psychedelic use, it just sounds like the person really does not like that part of you but deals with it or something.

That is very different from being with someone who respects that this is part of your life but understands it is not for them.

I dont see how wishing someones boobs were larger etc is relevant here at all. Thats not the same thing.

 

[friken]

I've only tried mimosa tea a handful of times. My wife wanted to try it as well so I dosed small 2g mimosa/3g rue boil. She had very little dmt experience with that dose. Little to no visuals, lightly meditative at best. However she puked every 3-5 minutes for 2-3 hours

She is in absolutely no hurry to try that again. For some odd reason once she pukes once her stomach keeps making bile and creates a loop of puking that is hard for her to stop. She is the same way when she gets a stomach flu.

 

[nicechrisman]

I've never been with any ladies who were AS into psychedelics as I am. Most of them have had some interest, but usually I'm the instigator.

 

[Botanical Bliss]

I've pretty much fallen in love with a girl I wouldn't have ever thought I would from campus. We started talking and eventually became friends with benefits , then not a week ago we made it official, and we already know we love each other. She has some heavy history in her life and I feel like I am here to help her overcome that and help her move forward and grow as a person. She's wanted to try dmt, and today she spontaneously while we were playing said she wants to try it now.

I thought it wasn't a great idea to just do it spontaneously like that and had told her plenty about how serious and powerful it is, but I loaded up my bong with a pretty small dose (like 8-10mg) sandwiched in some peppermint leaves and lit it for her and she took a hit then another and I could tell she got it.

Her pupils got huge and she was looking around the room as I held my hand on hers to comfort her. She starred at me for a while and I just tried to emanate love, and she had this smile on her face the whole time. I could tell she was having a good experience. She was really happy afterwards.

She told me that it was a really happy, beautiful place she was in. She said that she could see her dog that had been dead for 4 years, and that me and her souls were in one body with one heartbeat. I look forward to journeying and growing with her. I always pictured myself wanting a partner who already knows what the psychedelic experience is about but I just feel so pulled towards this girl and love to know that I am making her life better and opening her up to these powerful ways of learning/healing.

 

[TMK]

When I say "tolerate" I dont mean someone that just chooses not to trip with you. That is their choice. To me tolerating something means you dont like it, but you sort of endure it anyway. So, in the context of this thread when someone says there partner simply tolerates their psychedelic use, it just sounds like the person really does not like that part of you but deals with it or something.

That is very different from being with someone who respects that this is part of your life but understands it is not for them.

I dont see how wishing someones boobs were larger etc is relevant here at all. Thats not the same thing.

The boobs thing was meant as a joke. My wife does simply "tolerate" this part of my life. In that, she does not like it, but she endures it anyway. Just as I endure certain aspects of her life that I don't really like (career things). The whole boobs thing was a funny way (I thought) of saying that even though we don't share the same views on ALL parts of our lives. We share the same values that are important to our relationship. Like religious views, the way we raise our children, spending time with our family, ambition, ect... For you using these meds may be so much of your life that it is a deal breaker if your partner just tolerates it. For me its not. Or maybe you just haven't found the right person yet.

 

[Electric Kool-Aid]

I didnt want to post here but heck.

My wife smoked weed once with me. I never told her I did any sort of drugs for about 3 years of going out and we were engaged at that time. Just out of the blue I said I would like to smoke a joint. She said ok. So I rolled one, started to smoke, passed it to her, she smoked. We laughed so hard at a movie we were watching.
The next day she said "I knew it". I responded with "knew what?. She said "I always knew you were a stoner". That was the last joint I ever smoked with her. Oh well.... Tis life. I smoke when I am out. No biggie!

DMT on the other hand is not for sharing with her. Maybe when I retire I will make a meditation room where meditation smoalk is aloud. Or sooner!

But drugs are not something you can convince someone of. Some people just shut it all out and think that are "all drugs" and don't want to do them or listen to any reason why they are good. So it's better to not try to get them involved. Better left alone on that subject.

 

[zdt000zdt]

Great topic for discussion but I'd like to modify the question a little if nobody minds.. My question is, for those of you out there that DO in fact share this passion with your partner, what was it that made this possible? Maybe you met them in a psychedelic environment with mutual friends, maybe he/she caught you or heard a rumor and confronted you..who knows. I guess my question is how do the members open up to their partners about their hidden passion to make it known and workable in their relationships?

 

[iracema]

Yes, he showed me this I am very thankful forever.
I talk to my family more, ask so many questions now I want to know.
Did not have interest before, commom people made me feel shame for my origin.
Now I can not be more proud, mom is happy too, but his mom don't know.
I raised catolic by my aunt, 1 hour of church was so boring, but 4 hours of aya sing and dance around fire is so fun I feel complete.
I love to see couples share this moments too, some friends couples go with us too to know it.

 

[Eegah!]

I've been with my gf for about 2 1/2 yrs, and although she is a bit less experienced with psys than myself (she hasn't ever tried mushrooms, for instance) she is very open minded and supportive of mutual, responsible entheogen use. I'm a very lucky person!

In answer to zdt's modification of the question: I suppose it's been possible for us to share this part of our lives because she already had in interest when we met, as did I. Actually, we met at our local bar, and she asked me to tell her about the most paranormal experience I ever had...so I responded with a story about a mushroom trip I took in the woods, when I had a telepathic experience with the trees and they led me to a clearing where I could watch a low-altitude meteorite burn up in the sky above me. Ever since, we've clicked

I should mention that she's also one of the most kind, empathetic, and open-minded beings i've ever met, so that's been helpful as I've shared my DMT journey with her.

I guess my question is how do the members open up to their partners about their hidden passion to make it known and workable in their relationships?

Well, it'll obviously be simpler if your partner is open to these types of experiences in the first place, but beyond this I think being honest about this aspect of your life from the get-go is important. Don't share your trip reports on the first date, I suppose, but if you're at the point where you're seriously considering making someone a big part of your life, you owe it to them (and yourself) to show them what they're getting into. If that's a can of worms he/she can't handle...well, maybe it's not meant to be (especially if psys are that important to you). I understand the need to keep our passions 'hidden' from John Q Public, but it seems to me that hiding something of such importance from your significant other is asking for trouble (I'm not Ann Landers, so take my relationship advice with a grain of salt).

Other than honesty, I think opening up will be easier if you emphasize that your intentions are not recreational, but to do with spiritual/mental exploration and development, which the Nexus emphasizes anyway. Telling my girlfriend about the seriousness of my intent was what ultimately made her decide to go on my first aya journey with me; she knew we weren't simply going into the woods to get messed up, and that made her comfortable enough to take the plunge. She also admired the ritual involved in the aya's preparation and administration, and I shared my reasoning with her at each step of the process as we went along. Altogether, this led to us having an illuminating experience, and also laid the groundwork for her to eventually experience changa with me.

Man, how'd I get so lucky?

 

[Aegle]

TMK

Interesting and fascinating thread...


Much Peace and Respect

 

[Ilex]

I've been with my partner for about five years now. When we first got together, I was using psychedelics heavily (at least once a week), and was a major stoner also. She had used psychedelics before, and used to drink and get stoned regularly though she had stopped all after doing a couple Vispassana (meditation) retreats. She was open to my using psychedelics, and also was open to trying them again herself. Although we had dated for a couple months, we got to know each other deeply at a music festival that summer, helped out with some liberal doses of mushrooms, MDMA etc.

After that, we had lots of trips together on a wide variety of psychedelics - mushrooms, harmalas, LSD, cactus, MDMA, 2C-I, etc. The whole gamut! LSD was one of our favourites, as it usually led to the most epic love-making. For a while I was smoking a lot of DMT, but she never got that into it (when she would smoke, she would get overwhelming fear and anxiety as the effects neared the breakthrough point). Once in a blue moon she would smoke a joint with me, but it wasn't really her scene anymore. I would drink a little now and then, but she never really drank at that time (I think I saw her drunk once in three years).

In the last couple years, things have shifted a lot. Neither of us does psychedelics regularly anymore, but my partner has lost a lot of her interest in going into those intense altered states. I still enjoy mushrooms, LSD, cactus or MDMA occasionally, but she rarely does any psychedelics now. Both of us drink a lot more - albeit, a lot of home made mead or cider which is a lot nicer than commercial alcohol, but alcohol none the less. I do notice that we both are angrier than we used to be, and I think this is related to our alcohol consumption.

I still smoke pot daily, she doesn't really support or enjoy that I partake and often complains of the smell. Also I feel like she just "tolerates" my use of psychedelics and empathogens. It's hard because we always used to be on the same wavelength, but now I often feel she is judging me for using these substances, and sometimes I have tried to do them when she isn't around, or when she is coming home later, and not tell her out of some strange fear of being judged (which doesn't work by the way - she is pretty good at picking up when I am in an altered state, and to be honest it's just easier in the long run to be up front and honest about what I am doing. Plus, trying to hide your use of a psychedelic just puts a paranoid, strange twist on the whole experience). I like her best when I tell her I am going to drop, and she says, "Okay, whatever. Do whatever you want to!" Accepting your partner's choices (whether they like tripping or not) goes a long way to building a good relationship.

I realized that although psychedelics can be good to do on my own (especially the deeper ones), there is something very special about sharing a trip with a companion, or a few close friends.

I do hope that sometime we find ourselves in a place where we enjoy tripping together again. What I miss most is the psychedelic sex - nothing is more enjoyable to me than eating some LSD and then melting into a pool of twisted legs, arms and other body parts, not really sure which parts are yours and which parts are hers... everything from the tantric practices just coming naturally! Sure, you don't need psychedelics to enjoy sex, but I can't deny those were some of the most blissful experiences of my life. :thumb_up:

 

[TMK]

Thanks for the posts everyone. Very interesting and insightful. Ilex, it sounds like there was some evolution in your relationship. Do you think your partner may have stopped using psychedelics, because she wants to start a family or something? Or do you already have kids? Or neither of you have interest in having children? Either way, it sounds great that you were able to share those fun and unique experiences with your partner. Kudos :thumb_up:

 

[carlinesque]

I was the stereotypical closed-minded girl when I got with the Ex who introduced me to everything except liquor. He had been a daily weed smoker and recreational Acid/Mushroom tripper for years already and there was no way I was going to change that, so I didn't even try. I accepted him and the things he wanted to do, the drugs he wanted to take. I loved him and cared about him, and that's just what you do with people you love and care about. Three years into our relationship I became a full fledged pot head (still am) and even though I haven't traveled in a while with anything, I had a good year of experimenting almost every weekend and now one of my favorite things to do in the world is trip or have a fucking amazing roll.

While the relationship was anything but ideal or what my heart really wanted, one thing I would never change was him being my bridge to these beautiful substances. I am not supposed to be the type of person who is into them, but I let myself experiment and I had a partner who really was a decent coach and trip buddy for the most part. I wouldn't be half the woman I've become and am still turning into; it just wouldn't have happened for me any other way. I was suffering a great deal emotionally and psychologically and what these babies have done for my psyche I couldn't put a price or a regret on.

Gathering all the data on relationships and what I need/want for the next time, I've come to the conclusion that at this stage in my young life, I don't think I could be with someone who couldn't at least understand and appreciate the potential of these drugs or what they've done for me. That would be a must. They don't have to be into them, I just need understanding and compassion. Now if I can manage to land a dude who is just as into them and understands first hand how amazing the drugs can be, I think that would make me a very lucky girl

Long story longer, I am definitely open to being with men who don't share my interest or love in this department. BUT, it's a damn huge plus if they do and I think if that's something that is important to you then it should be something you can talk about. Communication is the glue