I had an epiphany this morning...
It was never the DMT...
Which leaves genuine religious transformation...
The DMT was not special, the experiance facilitated by it was!
3 days before my DMT breakthrough I saw two copper colored spheres in the sky, I was dead sober, I'm not going into that, but after I saw them my life was thrown in to synchronistic novelty, impossible strings of coincidences, impossible interconnections...life got fucking weird! And on the 3rd day I had a transformative event facilitated by DMT...
So many people can take DMT and get nothing from it, it doesn't transform them, it doesn't induce spiritual realization or enlightenment, it doesn't induce peak experiance (what the Sufi would call fana, or what's known as beatific vision...arjuna in chapter 11 of the gita is a perfect example...) what happened to me is NOT the norm...
If so many people can take DMT and receive nothing, than it was never the DMT!
I feel like I've wasted so much time with DMT now, I thought that DMT could induce this transformation fairly consistently, specially in high dose, but after speaking to as many DMT users as I could it becomes obvious that I was wrong.
I'll still personally use DMT, but I now understand my shamans will to never share the practice, the plants, or the preperations with others...because it will not do for them what it does for others...it won't help them, and they will criticize, or seek to suppress or destroy the plants or the plant user, or worst yet they may try to turn it into a capitalist business as ayahuasca centers have.
...it's been an eventful and productive morning, I actually feel relieve in a way...
-eg