ConnectedSoul
Rising Star
So it’s been about 7 weeks now since my first (and only ) breakthrough experience, which I wrote about here on the nexus. I want to ask a couple of questions that I still have unanswered…
By way of an update, I want to say that the effects in combating my long term anxiety disorder have indeed been lasting, which is fantastic. I’d say that the anxiety was totally absent for at least 2 weeks, possibly 3, after the experience. And has otherwise has been greatly reduced to a very manageable level. So grateful. Although my experience was truly terrifying in the moment, the impact on my life as a whole has been incredibly positive in the weeks after. Talk about enlightenment and relief!
I recently vaped a sub-breakthrough dose and found similar (very positive) effects on the anxiety. What I really would like to do, however, is to re-enter hyperspace. My previous (rather reckless) visit was through a high dose (100mg) and was way too terrifying. I’ve done a lot of integration work since and tried to come to terms with the associated fear of doing it again. Next time, however, I’ll have a more controlled entry: I now have accurate milligram scales and GVG. I plan to vape 25-30mg for breakthrough.
Here’s my main question: upon breakthrough, am I going to have this total loss of ego again that I experienced on the high dose? I mean, I was totally without person or body, to the degree that I didn’t even recall ever having been human. That in itself was the really scary part…such confusion in the moment! I’d like to think that breaking through at a lower dose will leave me at least with some semblance of who I am (or was) physically. I accept that disembodiment is a part of breakthrough, but is that always to the degree that you’re left utterly clueless as to what ever went before? Will I be able to maintain some sort of déjà-vu-type feeling and recognise where I am, who I am, what just happened? Basically, the high dose I had on my previous breakthrough left me with nothing to hold on to…are breakthroughs at lower doses similar in that respect or does one retain a level of conscious control within the experience? Can anyone offer advice here? Thanks so much…big gratitude. :d
Peace X
By way of an update, I want to say that the effects in combating my long term anxiety disorder have indeed been lasting, which is fantastic. I’d say that the anxiety was totally absent for at least 2 weeks, possibly 3, after the experience. And has otherwise has been greatly reduced to a very manageable level. So grateful. Although my experience was truly terrifying in the moment, the impact on my life as a whole has been incredibly positive in the weeks after. Talk about enlightenment and relief!
I recently vaped a sub-breakthrough dose and found similar (very positive) effects on the anxiety. What I really would like to do, however, is to re-enter hyperspace. My previous (rather reckless) visit was through a high dose (100mg) and was way too terrifying. I’ve done a lot of integration work since and tried to come to terms with the associated fear of doing it again. Next time, however, I’ll have a more controlled entry: I now have accurate milligram scales and GVG. I plan to vape 25-30mg for breakthrough.
Here’s my main question: upon breakthrough, am I going to have this total loss of ego again that I experienced on the high dose? I mean, I was totally without person or body, to the degree that I didn’t even recall ever having been human. That in itself was the really scary part…such confusion in the moment! I’d like to think that breaking through at a lower dose will leave me at least with some semblance of who I am (or was) physically. I accept that disembodiment is a part of breakthrough, but is that always to the degree that you’re left utterly clueless as to what ever went before? Will I be able to maintain some sort of déjà-vu-type feeling and recognise where I am, who I am, what just happened? Basically, the high dose I had on my previous breakthrough left me with nothing to hold on to…are breakthroughs at lower doses similar in that respect or does one retain a level of conscious control within the experience? Can anyone offer advice here? Thanks so much…big gratitude. :d
Peace X