I feel like I have a new family now.. while scattered over the globe it seems like there is an underground movement to get Ayahuasca out into the open everywhere.  I was told there were dozens of ceremonies weekly in places like New York.

They aren't spreaders, but rather people who have legal defense funds and are doing things the legal way when possible.

I found my way into this group via a burn. I still have a date with 2 planned where i am going to fly out and hear about their stories with Terrance.  They said "while he didn't trip as much, he did still use".

I no longer believe in the Kingdom of heaven, but rather the Garden of heaven.

Even attempting to persuade myself this was all in my head.. the pain is still gone. I felt that love and nothing can shackle me back to those insecurities.

On a side note everything in my garden grew substantially while I was gone. 2 weeks of growth when I left for 4 days including the plane trip.

I was still under for 2-3 hours after the main group was up and getting served food.  It seemed like 20% of us were journeying for near 10 hours. Even after that it was just as McKenna stated about a post DMT trip.. "It's like you are on a huge amount of acid, but because you are back. It seems tame". 

One of my close friends from here told me something that made me proud after...

"I know folks who wont go get fresh food to get their kids healthy, you gave up your faith and traveled past the ends of the earth for yours.  You once called yourself a paladin, you are".

Since then, the Shaman told me other plants would help me if I didn't abuse them.  One of the leaders asked me to (instead of just lighting up) give thanks and ask for the desired result.. Peace, Sleep, stress relief.  So far it may be a mental trick, but it does seem to work.

~ I met a Shaman.