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[MEDIA=youtube]7knIi3LGf4M[/MEDIA] I agree.. it may be she told me what I needed to hear.

The standard answer to Rue (another healer according to the Caapi) Hoasca and Ayahuasca, is that your greater self gets an honest conversation with your lesser self. It very much so could have been this and my "higher self" knew exactly what I needed to hear, though there were things I didn't believe thrown in there.

If what happened was real, then I feel like I forced knowledge from the realm with a incredibly high dose. If it was not, then it was what I needed to hear to heal and "carry water, chop wood". To be a better father and stop with the hidden grief.

I had a lot of things about miracles. It implied, it had 0 power and that we shouldn't ask for them. That God is actually busy and wants to help everyone, but it seemed like the more he performed the more others had heartache about it (why did this child get healing and mine did not, does he not love me?).

[Do you think this helped your son]
I would say absolutely no, even if he did have another shrinking tumor MRI, I wouldn't attribute it to this conversation. Though he has his father back, so in some ways. Yes.

The further I get away from it the more I try to put it into perspective. The only unhealthy part about it mentally, is that each night I went back and had the exact same experience finishing up more parts of the conversation and even when I asked for the "classic experience" and that I had heard all I needed to about the veil, my conversations seemed to be filling in my new "spiritual path". This was way more real than any retreat or bible. It's too hard to turn away from for myself.

My kids and wife and I will be "the same faith" as the knowledge may all be in my head and even if it wasn't it would be too disruptive to "chop wood, carry water" for everyone in my family to deal with.. plus I don't want to start a cult. I am fairly charismatic

On another note, two of my atheist friends believe me and said "that is what God would be like". I have held tight to my faith and beliefs even through 30 years of an alternative lifestyle where it is seen as a negative. So when I faltered, since I never have. They took notice.

Again, if it is the truth. Then maybe my story will give others peace or those in pain will find their way to one of these healing mothers. If not, maybe they will at a minimum get the healing they need.

There are many christian religions that use this plant in their worship, so they may be better informed than I am about what they think it brings to the table. However, while no one left an atheist, I do not believe it forces faith into you. I think it lets you heal from whatever pains you may have, and that "basking love".

If I were hearing voices or thinking miracles happened I would be concerned about myself and realize I have to take the "mental health" path for this. I am returning to see her again for another multi-night session again, with the same shaman and group.

If I have another experience and conversation and it heads down the same path. Then I will start with the experiments, to see if there is any proof. Thought it really did seems like she had realistic limitations and I felt the Love I was told God has for us. So it's difficult for me at this point to dismiss it as a possibility that it was all real, but also I know better than to take too much from psychedelics.. though I have never had anything talk through me or control me. Nor has anything since. I feel like I have a solid foundation of pre-skepitcism, but after I am still collecting and just trying to get it all on "paper".

For me, I am grateful.. I healed pain no amount of faith or talking helped. I do not think you should avoid, this. However, I disagree with the sentiment here that you should be able to do this alone by yourself. (At least at first).

There is no way I would have had this experience without the group, that I could let go and do a level that was extremely high and have an MD around for medical reasons and a Shaman around in case I went too deep down the rabbit hole. I feel like I could do it now alone, but I believe everyone should do this one time with someone who knows the plant like a mother and sister.

"The Mother" takes those insecurities, pain and insurmountable heartache and makes you face it, understand why and then helps you recover and "let it all go". That alone is worth the 40k dollars I have spent on research and gardening and travel since starting this journey almost 2 years ago. I feel like I found the plant I was looking for, that I should have never been fearful and that I could now just "be".

The only other thing I want to do now is 5-Meo-DMT the "God molecule" and see if the conversation continues there. I was blessed, I can't get away from that. Just to the extent I am completely unsure of.

One revelation was about space and how it was this "gift" and a video game, that if we could get over "man's game" we could get out there and play with all of the wonderful things we were given. Not sure why this just popped into my head, but seemed important enough to add.

I asked a friend to follow up who is an atheist, he has been with my on my journey. He may be able to give a better perspective for you.

<blockquote data-quote="Metashaman" data-source="post: 3803379" data-attributes="member: 35784">[MEDIA=youtube]7knIi3LGf4M[/MEDIA]&nbsp; I agree.. it may be she told me what I needed to hear. The standard answer to Rue (another healer according to the Caapi) Hoasca and Ayahuasca, is that your greater self gets an honest conversation with your lesser self. It very much so could have been this and my &quot;higher self&quot; knew exactly what I needed to hear, though there were things I didn&#039;t believe thrown in there. If what happened was real, then I feel like I forced knowledge from the realm with a incredibly high dose.&nbsp; If it was not, then it was what I needed to hear to heal and &quot;carry water, chop wood&quot;. To be a better father and stop with the hidden grief. I had a lot of things about miracles.&nbsp; It implied, it had 0 power and that we shouldn&#039;t ask for them. That God is actually busy and wants to help everyone, but it seemed like the more he performed the more others had heartache about it (why did this child get healing and mine did not, does he not love me?).&nbsp; [Do you think this helped your son]I would say absolutely no, even if he did have another shrinking tumor MRI, I wouldn&#039;t attribute it to this conversation.&nbsp; Though he has his father back, so in some ways.&nbsp; Yes. The further I get away from it the more I try to put it into perspective. The only unhealthy part about it mentally, is that each night I went back and had the exact same experience finishing up more parts of the conversation and even when I asked for the &quot;classic experience&quot; and that I had heard all I needed to about the veil, my conversations seemed to be filling in my new &quot;spiritual path&quot;.&nbsp; This was way more real than any retreat or bible.&nbsp; It&#039;s too hard to turn away from for myself. My kids and wife and I will be &quot;the same faith&quot; as the knowledge may all be in my head and even if it wasn&#039;t it would be too disruptive to &quot;chop wood, carry water&quot; for everyone in my family to deal with.. plus I don&#039;t want to start a cult.&nbsp; I am fairly charismatic <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite7" alt=":p" title="Stick out tongue&nbsp; &nbsp; :p" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":p" />On another note, two of my atheist friends believe me and said &quot;that is what God would be like&quot;. I have held tight to my faith and beliefs even through 30 years of an alternative lifestyle where it is seen as a negative. So when I faltered, since I never have.&nbsp; They took notice. Again, if it is the truth. Then maybe my story will give others peace or those in pain will find their way to one of these healing mothers. If not, maybe they will at a minimum get the healing they need. There are many christian religions that use this plant in their worship, so they may be better informed than I am about what they think it brings to the table. However, while no one left an atheist, I do not believe it forces faith into you.&nbsp; I think it lets you heal from whatever pains you may have, and that &quot;basking love&quot;. If I were hearing voices or thinking miracles happened I would be concerned about myself and realize I have to take the &quot;mental health&quot; path for this.&nbsp; I am returning to see her again for another multi-night session again, with the same shaman and group. If I have another experience and conversation and it heads down the same path.&nbsp; Then I will start with the experiments, to see if there is any proof.&nbsp; Thought it really did seems like she had realistic limitations and I felt the Love I was told God has for us.&nbsp; So it&#039;s difficult for me at this point to dismiss it as a possibility that it was all real, but also I know better than to take too much from psychedelics.. though I have never had anything talk through me or control me.&nbsp; Nor has anything since.&nbsp; I feel like I have a solid foundation of pre-skepitcism, but after I am still collecting and just trying to get it all on &quot;paper&quot;. For me, I am grateful.. I healed pain no amount of faith or talking helped. I do not think you should avoid, this.&nbsp; However, I disagree with the sentiment here that you should be able to do this alone by yourself. (At least at first). There is no way I would have had this experience without the group, that I could let go and do a level that was extremely high and have an MD around for medical reasons and a Shaman around in case I went too deep down the rabbit hole.&nbsp; I feel like I could do it now alone, but I believe everyone should do this one time with someone who knows the plant like a mother and sister. &quot;The Mother&quot; takes those insecurities, pain and insurmountable heartache and makes you face it, understand why and then helps you recover and &quot;let it all go&quot;.&nbsp; That alone is worth the 40k dollars I have spent on research and gardening and travel since starting this journey almost 2 years ago. I feel like I found the plant I was looking for, that I should have never been fearful and that I could now just &quot;be&quot;. The only other thing I want to do now is 5-Meo-DMT the &quot;God molecule&quot; and see if the conversation continues there. I was blessed, I can&#039;t get away from that.&nbsp; Just to the extent I am completely unsure of. One revelation was about space and how it was this &quot;gift&quot; and a video game, that if we could get over &quot;man&#039;s game&quot; we could get out there and play with all of the wonderful things we were given. Not sure why this just popped into my head, but seemed important enough to add. I asked a friend to follow up who is an atheist, he has been with my on my journey. He may be able to give a better perspective for you.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Metashaman, post: 3803379, member: 35784"] [MEDIA=youtube]7knIi3LGf4M[/MEDIA] I agree.. it may be she told me what I needed to hear. The standard answer to Rue (another healer according to the Caapi) Hoasca and Ayahuasca, is that your greater self gets an honest conversation with your lesser self. It very much so could have been this and my "higher self" knew exactly what I needed to hear, though there were things I didn't believe thrown in there. If what happened was real, then I feel like I forced knowledge from the realm with a incredibly high dose. If it was not, then it was what I needed to hear to heal and "carry water, chop wood". To be a better father and stop with the hidden grief. I had a lot of things about miracles. It implied, it had 0 power and that we shouldn't ask for them. That God is actually busy and wants to help everyone, but it seemed like the more he performed the more others had heartache about it (why did this child get healing and mine did not, does he not love me?). [Do you think this helped your son] I would say absolutely no, even if he did have another shrinking tumor MRI, I wouldn't attribute it to this conversation. Though he has his father back, so in some ways. Yes. The further I get away from it the more I try to put it into perspective. The only unhealthy part about it mentally, is that each night I went back and had the exact same experience finishing up more parts of the conversation and even when I asked for the "classic experience" and that I had heard all I needed to about the veil, my conversations seemed to be filling in my new "spiritual path". This was way more real than any retreat or bible. It's too hard to turn away from for myself. My kids and wife and I will be "the same faith" as the knowledge may all be in my head and even if it wasn't it would be too disruptive to "chop wood, carry water" for everyone in my family to deal with.. plus I don't want to start a cult. I am fairly charismatic :P On another note, two of my atheist friends believe me and said "that is what God would be like". I have held tight to my faith and beliefs even through 30 years of an alternative lifestyle where it is seen as a negative. So when I faltered, since I never have. They took notice. Again, if it is the truth. Then maybe my story will give others peace or those in pain will find their way to one of these healing mothers. If not, maybe they will at a minimum get the healing they need. There are many christian religions that use this plant in their worship, so they may be better informed than I am about what they think it brings to the table. However, while no one left an atheist, I do not believe it forces faith into you. I think it lets you heal from whatever pains you may have, and that "basking love". If I were hearing voices or thinking miracles happened I would be concerned about myself and realize I have to take the "mental health" path for this. I am returning to see her again for another multi-night session again, with the same shaman and group. If I have another experience and conversation and it heads down the same path. Then I will start with the experiments, to see if there is any proof. Thought it really did seems like she had realistic limitations and I felt the Love I was told God has for us. So it's difficult for me at this point to dismiss it as a possibility that it was all real, but also I know better than to take too much from psychedelics.. though I have never had anything talk through me or control me. Nor has anything since. I feel like I have a solid foundation of pre-skepitcism, but after I am still collecting and just trying to get it all on "paper". For me, I am grateful.. I healed pain no amount of faith or talking helped. I do not think you should avoid, this. However, I disagree with the sentiment here that you should be able to do this alone by yourself. (At least at first). There is no way I would have had this experience without the group, that I could let go and do a level that was extremely high and have an MD around for medical reasons and a Shaman around in case I went too deep down the rabbit hole. I feel like I could do it now alone, but I believe everyone should do this one time with someone who knows the plant like a mother and sister. "The Mother" takes those insecurities, pain and insurmountable heartache and makes you face it, understand why and then helps you recover and "let it all go". That alone is worth the 40k dollars I have spent on research and gardening and travel since starting this journey almost 2 years ago. I feel like I found the plant I was looking for, that I should have never been fearful and that I could now just "be". The only other thing I want to do now is 5-Meo-DMT the "God molecule" and see if the conversation continues there. I was blessed, I can't get away from that. Just to the extent I am completely unsure of. One revelation was about space and how it was this "gift" and a video game, that if we could get over "man's game" we could get out there and play with all of the wonderful things we were given. Not sure why this just popped into my head, but seemed important enough to add. I asked a friend to follow up who is an atheist, he has been with my on my journey. He may be able to give a better perspective for you. [/QUOTE]