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Fear is holding me back.

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A_PsY_LuNaTiC

Rising Star
Hey all, since my last experience with the spice was a fail i feel as if i am not ready to try again. Fear is playing a major part and everytime i feel as if i am being called by the spice to try again (roughly 50mg left over from last attempt)something always stops me and holds me back. Any ideas how to overcome fear and anxiety issues? Thanks.. Peace.
 
What is the hurry? I think when you are ready, you will know and try it.

I once had an intense "mindfuck" experience on LSA. After that, for days when I looked at the sack of morning glory seeds I had it was repulsive to me. Finally I decided I was likely to never try these again, so I threw away the rest of them. Yet a few months later I was curious enough to try again, although with a lower dose.

I just had a very intense experience with DMT a few nights ago, and while I have not thrown away my spice, I don't expect to try again for a while. I don't see why there needs to be any rush. Personal growth takes time, and trying to rush it I think is like trying to pull on flowers to get them to grow faster.

If you do think you need to try now though maybe clean out the remaining DMT and start fresh with a small (20mg say) dose and work up gradually.

elphologist
 
Hi A_PsY_LuNaTiC,

Fear has stopped me in my tracks. I pushed it and pushed it and got thoroughly ass-kicked.

This last round was not my only confrontation with fear issues relating to consuming the spice. But, this last one, I pushed it and pushed it and . . . (see previous paragraph).

elphologist1 is right on when he talks about trying to get flowers to grow by pulling on them. I pulled on the pretty petals of the flower I grew and close to 50% of them fell off. Now I am back to trying to see that the growth is properly fertilized so that it can remain healthy over the winter.

WSaged's question is worth probing yourself to answer, even if you choose not to post. Unless you have some very serious cardiovascular issues, there is no need to fear (physically) DMT itself . . .We need to work on our root issues. I know there is nothng to fear, yet I cannot even pick up my vaporizer - it has been dissassembled and put up on a high shelf away from dust and cats. I know (at least partially) why this is for me. This gives me some guidance on where to focus my work, hoping to get that flower growing again and perhaps someday not too far out, to be able to consume spice again.

Peace & Love,
Pandora
 
A_PsY_LuNaTiC

Slowly but surely is always the best way to go with entheogens, little by little inch by inch...Trust yourself and you cant go wrong...


Much Peace and Compassion
 
Thanks for the replies. To answer WSaged, the fear i have is more mental rather than physical. The last time i attempted i had a very intense bad trip, a feeling as if i been had pulled into he dark realm rather than the light. I guess you guys are right though, when the time is right i will know and i shouldn't really rush things, i just hope that i am enlightened by the experience. Thanks again.. Peace
 
elphologist1 said:
What is the hurry? I think when you are ready, you will know and try it.

I once had an intense "mindfuck" experience on LSA. After that, for days when I looked at the sack of morning glory seeds I had it was repulsive to me. Finally I decided I was likely to never try these again, so I threw away the rest of them. Yet a few months later I was curious enough to try again, although with a lower dose.

I just had a very intense experience with DMT a few nights ago, and while I have not thrown away my spice, I don't expect to try again for a while. I don't see why there needs to be any rush. Personal growth takes time, and trying to rush it I think is like trying to pull on flowers to get them to grow faster.

If you do think you need to try now though maybe clean out the remaining DMT and start fresh with a small (20mg say) dose and work up gradually.

elphologist
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Totally agree with elphologist, there is no hurry I dont know how old you are but there are some older posters here who take time out and then go back to it. And their bloody old in comparison to myself, im 29. Id never throw things out though, you must have been gutted :lol: I cant get active morning glory for love nor money :(

I would kill to have some dmt atm but I lost it unluckily and when I had it I was pandering with it and not working with it properly, now I realise how lucky I was when I had a load of it. Now swim cant even extract it and hes pretty peeved about his situation. Id just make sure your freezer doesnt brake on you and you lose the goodies then you will have all the time in the world.

fear of what?
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Total obliteration and death maybe. It isnt so easy to get rid of fear with dmt, lots here seem to quite easily but even mckenna said every time he went to light the pipe his hand would be shaking, the guys maybe a newbie with psychs who knows, lots of people fear the dmt experience, doesnt mean your a pussy or anything, afterwards its always whall I have nothign to fear etc. how could I have been scared of that amazingness but thats after the deed is done not before, two different realitys really! Or someone could have had a bad experience, isnt so easy to say to folks that have, och dont be daft theres nothing to be scared of, its a lot more intense than morning glory headfuck and this swimmer knows people who would never touch it again, no matter what swim says, because of fear of death, obliteration and bad experiences they have had.

I would say to the op what I say to my friends, theres no rush but you wont regret working with it and the rewards will be phenomonal and this site is the best place for support, youll be glad in the end you took the plunge many times hopefully! 😉
 
Infinite I said:
fear of what?
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Total obliteration and death maybe.
Click to expand...

But that doesn't & never has happened....😉


I too get that apprehension before smoking DMT....every time, but I also realize that I have never had anything ever actually hurt me in anyway, or anyone I've had the pleasure of turning on, or anyone I've ever personally met.

It's apprehension..that's all.
Once the 1st hit starts creeping into my senses, I immediately relax & remember how there is absolutely nothing to actually fear in there!
There are sometimes that the effects are more heavy than others, but I don't put any kind of negative or positive personality behind it....I don't give it an ego.
Instead I tend to look to myself & how I am feeling/thinking at the time & how that lead to causing that kind of experience.

To help at not having those kinds of experiences, first you need to drop the idea that things are good, or bad...they just happen...we label it as good or bad.
Relaxing you mind & preparing yourself before smoking (once you have everything ready to go) is important too!!
Sit & clear your mind...let you thoughts quiet down & just watch your breath...slowy in through your nose & out though your mouth. Think of nothing & when a thought comes up, recognize it & just let it go...you can think about it & deal with it later.
Right now, you want a quiet, open & calm mind.

Next, do you have music playing & do you keep your eyes open?
Pretty much all the reports I read about people freaking out under the power of DMT include music & watching reality spin away with there eyes open.
Shut off the music, or keep it to quiet ambient sound, no lyrics, no drum beat!!
And keep it quiet!!!! Almost unable to even hear it, until the DMT amplifies your hearing.

More important...CLOSE YOUR EYES!!! The vast spaces that open up with your eyes closed are amazing & you'll notice how things don't seem so hectic & crazy when you are not witnessing two separate dimensional spaces fighting for your visual cortex.

In fact, try to get rid of as much real world stimulus as possible!!
Let the DMT fill your senses completely, instead of fighting with physical stimulus for your attention!!!

Then just lay back & watch, don't try to shut it off, don't try to effect it in any way....just observe!!
If there is interaction to be had, you'll know it.....& you'll interact!:shock:
Try to take in as much of it as you can, cause it will be gone soon!! Even when it seems negative....what is it that is negative to you? What is it that you are really witnessing here?!?!?!?!?

It will usually be over waaaaaaaaaay too soon...You'll never get stuck there, you will never be hurt by anything you experience there!!
It's nothing more than an experience!!!

Keep in mind what you are experiencing is you!!!
If you are experiencing great fear, pay attention to what it is you are actually afraid of & work on changing that about yourself!!!

Fear of the unknown is understandable, just keep in mind that DMT is nothing new, it has been used for centuries (& probably longer) by shaman's & curanderoes....People have been smoking it since the 60's at very least.
We have all come back & most of us even benefit from having experienced this....whatever it is...it's proof that there is more going on with our body's & our minds than we can truely comprehend right now!!
Whether it's spiritual, physical, or even just chemical, it's proof of how much more there is to come out of this universe in our consciousness!!!
And that is an amazing thing to experience at least once, at it's full potential & with as little fear as you can go with!


Another thing to keep in mind is how lucky you are to be one of the few humans who really get to explore this substance (think about that for a second!) & the other places & beings we seem to interact with while under it's influence....whatever/wherever it might be....don't waste that!!!!
Respect it & Enjoy it & never take it for granted!!!


WS
 
A bit of trepidation before launch seems pretty normal...

One thing I would recommend is taking deep breaths from the stomach, and stating simple and negativity-dispelling intentions over and over until you are relaxed, e.g., "I am here in love, I am here in gratitude, I am here to learn, etc."

:)

And, the longer one seems to wait, sometimes, the worse fear gets--it's a baseless phantom that builds up in the mind.

Also, how are you integrating lessons into life? Are you maintaining good relationships with others, your body, keeping up with personal chores/activities, etc.?
 
Ya I think everyone gets that trepidation/butterfly feeling in the stomach before blastoff. You just gotta grab the bull by the horns and go for it.

There is nothing to fear. Just LOVE.
 
elphologist1 said:
but one might not remember that when they arrive in hyperspace. Heck, I didn't even remember that I had smoked anything, much less that what I had smoked couldn't really hurt me.
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Hmmmm, never had that happen with DMT....Salvia yes, but never with DMT.

In fact one of the things that is so great about DMT is how the mind stays relatively lucid & normal, even under the most alien landscapes.

I don't like to quote McKenna, but as he put it:
"You go there with all your groceries intact"


I have noticed that the cleaner the spice, the clearer the experience is.
When I've smoked yellower, dirtier DMT, the effects seam kind of smeared & I guess I have had the thought looping thing happen once or twice, when smoking Jungle Spice.

I prefer to do a very pure extract...clear, shard-like crystals....with that, the experience is like a clean, clear key to open that door, my mind remains 100% intact, within (or sometimes a part of) that other dimension.


Salvia on the other hand, almost always came with that effect of not remembering smoking the Salvia to cause those extreme effects....much less who I was, where I was, why I was, etc....
I don't enjoy smoked Salvia anymore.
Quids are much nicer, but such a farking pain in the ass, it's hardly worth it!!!
Especially when there is lovely DMT!:d


Cheers
WS
 
i feel like if you don't have any fear or nervousness, you are lacking respect.

its similar to if you were to meet one of your idols, you really have nothing to fear, but you are still nervous because of the experience and the knowledge you could gain by meeting someone or something that has knowledge you want.

I've known a couple people that smoked after having a couple drinks, thus lackin inhibitions and they were extremely humbled by the experience and immediately realized that they needed to approch the situation with respect.
 
There will be a moment that you just lose that fear.

I used to look at DMT as something very intimidating. But nowadays i don't feel any fear at all.

At some point it just vanishes.

When you don't run away from what you fear, this will happen for sure.
When you run away from it, you will not defeat it.

You'l overcome your fear by learning on what instincts you can rely. Deep inside, you have a great inner strength and resiliance. When you face your fear, you'l find that inner strength at some point.
 
my personal fear comes from the fact that communing with spirits is witchcraft. it in itself might not be the reason God didnt want that...prolly more like some spirit is gunna rape your asshole till hes poking out your mouth type stuff... either way not cool
 
WSaged said:
I don't enjoy smoked Salvia anymore.
Quids are much nicer, but such a farking pain in the ass, it's hardly worth it!!!
Especially when there is lovely DMT!:d


Cheers
WS
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Agreed. I was very involved with salvia. ( I post as Salvia_Explorer on entheogen.com ) I used it for about a year or two and used it a lot. After a while I found that it took me to the same base zero point where nothing really happened. It was a trip getting there and back, but the peak was dark and silent.
Then I discovered spice with all its color and energy. No more bothering with salvia for me anymore either.

I have, on a lot of occasions, found that I didn't know who I was, how I got there, didn't remember what it was I took, and got totally mind fucked ( in a good way ) from smoked spice. All over 10 minutes later though, so not a problem!
 
I could not agree more, at some point you realise the only thing worth fearing in hyperspace is yourself.
Hyperspace has no teeth.

As an experiment, just lie on your back with your eyes closed, and listen to all the chatter that starts comming up after a little while...
You'll recognise some of this is what happens when you smoke spice and close your eyes immediatly as the molecule is still getting up to speed.
What might help you, is to keep your eyes open for about the first 30 or 40 seconds, then as the force gets to a peak, close em and fall into the state. The less you think, the better. Just observe, think later. Something else to also try, maybe in combination with the above, is to find a new smokeing place, the change in scenery/environment helps you realise which part of the experience is the molecule and which parts are all you and environmental influence.

Lasty try to modulate the experience by haveing thoughts of love, the endorphins are a natural counter to DMT, and can help modulate the hard parts (if any happens).
 
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