First difficult experience

[Tegridy]

I would like to share my first difficult changa experience with you guys and kind of diarize it. It’s still a mind boggle to me and gave me a good enough scare to stay away form it for a while. Before this I smoked over the weekends and sometimes during the week.
I received a “sample” from a lady that wanted my stamp of approval on a batch she made, she does this kind of thing often and I appreciate it. This batch was weak, I think the ratio of spice to leaf was too low, so I had a hard time breaking through with this and left it in my cupboard for a while.

We had a public holiday some time ago and I was bored and remembered I had that leaf still left. It was kind of big pieces, so I decided I am going to cut it very fine and pack a bong full and see where it takes me. I expected it to alter my reality a bit but nothing too intense.

I sat on my bed an took a big hit, I was planning on finishing the bowl and remember thinking to myself, this is coming on stronger than I thought it would. I kept the smoke in my lungs for a while and before I knew it everything quickly changed. I put the bong down and stood up. I have this floral pattern on my duvet and that pattern looked like it was darting around in my room. It felt like the pattern was being shot at me from just outside my peripheral vision and everything in my room looked familiar but way different than what it normally looks like.

By this time I completely forgot I just smoked changa and got the idea in my head I was poisoned. I tried to sit back on my bed but the patterns shooting out of it freaked me out and it felt like I was being consumed by my bed. I thought there was something released from those patterns poisoning me and I stood up again, I was loudly clearing my throat trying to get rid of the poison. I headed to my window to try to get some fresh air and when I looked down I saw my bag I normally take to work. It didn’t look like my bag anymore and it resembled some type of creature and it was laughing at me. I proceeded to smack it off the stand it was on and hung onto the window railings. I assumed something is now seriously wrong with me and I need to get help. I shouted from my open window for my neighbour to come help me. Luckily they weren’t home and I wanted to make my way out of my place to go over to someone to help me

As I walked into my living room I saw my shoes lying on the floor and remembered that’s where I usually take my shoes off, they didn’t look like my shoes anymore. Everything was where I normally keep it but it looked completely different. Everything kind of looked like my stuff was swapped out for some futuristic cyber punk type vibe things. Another thought came to my mind that I am being pranked, I am on some prank show. Someone managed to swap everything I have out and put everything in the correct place in the space of a few minutes. I walked back to my room to check if it was the same there. As I walked into my room I saw the bong again and thought there had to be some residual chemical in the bong that reacted with the weed doing this to me. The idea of being poisoned came back and I needed to get out again. All the while with this happening I had the feeling like I have seen this before or knew this exact event was going to happen, almost like dejavu or I have seen it before in a previous trip, this still boggles my mind.

As I got to my door to go outside to get away from what I thought was poisoning me I saw my hand reaching for the door and as soon as I saw my hand, I realised I was tripping and then it came back to me I just smoked changa that I thought was weak out of a bong. It felt like an hour passed where I didn’t know what was going on with me, but it was probably around 5 minutes.

I think the mistake I made there was to not take the molecule seriously and treat it with respect. My brain has also been conditioned that I smoke cannabis out of a bong, so I never put it together that I just had changa from there. I felt betrayed by the molecule and almost that it tricked/pranked me. I haven’t touched the stuff since, but I have been feeling the call again lately. I have a new found respect for it again and am almost more nervous to go back than I was the first time I tried it.

 

[ChristianMeteor]

Thanks for sharing,

The mental conclusion you made (on being poisoned) I believe led to your experience. Perhaps it was a manifestation of an inkling of doubt you had about this ladies changa. Without the firm resolution before hand that you were taking something that was safe, the potential to consider that what you had taken was not safe was there.

Standing is also, in my opinion, usually a mistake on DMT. This is another affirmation that you could bring with you next time-to stay seated or in a reclined position (preferably with some WATER nearby). Not only is there the potential for involuntary injury, but also as you described, the potential to leave the house (and go down the rabbit hole of outside).

Deja-vu is one of the most bizarre parts of psychedelics for me. It's like objects that are in your physical space have characterizes in another dimension (like your shoes and work bag), yet they are still physical things that fulfill their purpose in consensus space. The familiarity is also strangely enchanting but creepy. Like "I feel like I have been here before, and it FEELS like this is a part of something that was planned, but it is also eerily reminiscent of an experience that I have NO recollection of, like some kind of a forgotten or repressed feeling."

In terms of your feeling of betrayal, that is not unusual following uncomfortable trips because the common denominating factor in a bad trip is the substance. That said YOU chose to take the substance, as well as the set and setting. YOU thought you were poisoned, but were you really? Again, I think this thought manifestation came from a doubt in the product.

Regardless, you are at the controls, but if you havent got your pre-flight affirmations and practices down, how will you control where you go?

 

[Tegridy]

Thanks for the reply christianMeteor, a really insightful one at that.

I didn't plan on standing, thought I would take the hits, put the bong down and just fall back onto my bed. Was just so weird how quickly everything changed and that I completely forgot I just smoked dmt 5 seconds ago that's causing this.

You are right, I went in there with no intentions and did so without any respect for the molecule, I learned my lesson and will definitely not make that mistake again.

I have also been working hard on being able to make my own spice, I think the journeys will be much better then as-well. I should have everything I need by December and will post some pics once I've done my first extraction. I'm really excited for it

 

[Exitwound]

That certainly falls on my spectrum of DMT experiences. DMT can be a harsh mistress

I think learning to focus (or rather unfocus) is a key to general betterment of experiences. Meditation teaches this and incorporating daily practices to your life leads to better life and trips in general.

But on the other hand, as much time as you will spend preparing, as big will be the surprise. You know, that one time it is bound to happen and nothing will prepare you for that
DMT is like a ticket to a hyperspace carnival, you just don't get to choose which attractions are open right now.

imo the biggest lesson this molecule teaches you is how to enjoy not tripping

 

[Tegridy]

imo the biggest lesson this molecule teaches you is how to enjoy not tripping

This rings so true, kind of made me realize life is the real trip, before dmt I always wanted to be under the influence of some kind of mind altering substance, mostly cannabis. Lately I enjoy being sober.

I have also learnt to just be an observer on the journey, there have been times where I try to control it or aim for a certain kind of experience and that usually doesn't work out too well.

I should work on my meditation more, I don't do it enough, will probably help me deal with normal everyday life as-well.

 

[Voidmatrix]

imo the biggest lesson this molecule teaches you is how to enjoy not tripping

This rings so true, kind of made me realize life is the real trip, before dmt I always wanted to be under the influence of some kind of mind altering substance, mostly cannabis. Lately I enjoy being sober.

I have also learnt to just be an observer on the journey, there have been times where I try to control it or aim for a certain kind of experience and that usually doesn't work out too well.

I should work on my meditation more, I don't do it enough, will probably help me deal with normal everyday life as-well.

As much as I plan on DMT being with me through the long haul of life, I agree that it has also made me enjoy being "sober" more. I used to be constantly high on cannabis. I still engage thc daily, but more often towards the end of the day. It helps me with creativity and sleep and has become a valuable adjunct to my meditation practice.

With regard to the op, CM said it well. Sometimes the power of suggestion is an endogenous factor, in this case thinking you were poisoned. Sometimes these can create cycles with a particular thought in an intrusive manner. I also feel like aspects of your experience are indicative of the actions of the "jester" archetype commonly experience on DMT. My room has and objects in it and appeared completely foreign (but paradoxically familiar).

And continue working on meditation, for in instances like these, reverting to meditative modes and aspects when things get gnarly will help you keep your feet beneath you.

I initially was going to say more, but am currently sick so my thinking is cloudy. I'll leave you with something I say often: DMT always has something new to show you.

One love

 

[downwardsfromzero]

Regardless, you are at the controls, but if you havent got your pre-flight affirmations and practices down, how will you control where you go?

This was one of my main thoughts. The pre-flight ritual has one useful impact in that it really impresses into you that you will be tripping. It should thereby help to prevent the effect of forgetting what you just did and consequently you should (hopefully) avoid coming up with the idea that you the were somehow poisoned.

Besides the small seed of uncertainty that ChristianMeteor highlights, I would also ancourage you to consider whether there are any other aspects of your life that you might consider toxic - foods, relationships, habits? Is cannabis your servant or your mistress, for example? What kind of company do you keep? You don't have to answer this here, it's merely food for thought

EDIT: I see that's been covered already :lol:

before dmt I always wanted to be under the influence of some kind of mind altering substance, mostly cannabis. Lately I enjoy being sober.

:thumb_up:

 

[M0K0]

I know someone who just smokes self-made spice, but he would still recommend to start each session slowly, with doses around 5-10mg.
If correctly vaporized, this doses are perfectly suited for giving yourself a feeling about your product and your state of mind.

love is out