First DMT 10mg experience after massiv addiciton on crack and benzos Reflections and Questions

[AciBoy1234]

Hello everyone,


I wanted to share my first DMT experience and hear your thoughts on it.


I’m 19 years old and have a history of heavy substance abuse (cocaine, crack, benzodiazepines). At one point, I even ended up in a coma because of my drug use. I’ve now been clean for about 8 months, which has been a major step for me.


Recently, I had my first DMT experience with 10 mg of pure crystals. It was unexpectedly intense, especially on an emotional level. I actually started crying during the experience because it felt so profound and meaningful. It was like I suddenly understood certain things and connections in my life much more clearly.


One of the most important realizations was that I truly want to stay clean—especially for my family. They’ve been through a lot because of my addiction, and it became very clear to me that I don’t want to put them through that again.


At the same time, I realized how strong my need is to belong somewhere. Since getting clean, my entire old social circle has basically disappeared, and I currently don’t have many real friendships.


About 5 months ago, while already clean, I took LSD and went to a rave with a friend. During that experience, I started feeling like people were making fun of me. Later, I reflected on it and came to the conclusion that it was most likely my own insecurity being amplified by the LSD. I generally struggle with low self-confidence and tend to doubt myself a lot, and the experience seemed to project that outward onto others.


Interestingly, many of my deepest insights didn’t actually happen during the DMT experience itself, but afterwards. I spent time reflecting and even talked things through with an AI—specifically the Google AI you can access through the “AI mode” tab when you search something. That helped me process the experience much more and connect the dots in a clearer way.


Now to my questions:


I feel like with 10 mg I only scratched the surface and I’m considering increasing the dose to 15 mg.
Do you think it’s better to take more time for integration before going deeper?
Are there any general guidelines on how long to wait between experiences?
And what would you recommend for properly integrating and making sense of what I experienced?


I’d really appreciate your thoughts and advice.

AcidBoy1234

 

[EmeraldAtomiser]

Great to hear you had such a profound experience, first time out.
I don't think there are any hard and fast rules about intervals and integrating. Being mindful of your intention is a good place to start, and you can always be integrating a previous experience whilst overlapping with a new one!
Sounds to me like the realm is drawing you back, so, personally, I'd just go with how you feel. 15mg sounds like a good plan.

 

[blig-blug]

Do you think it’s better to take more time for integration before going deeper?

Thinking back about your experience, how do you feel? Does it disturb you, or cause a strong emotional reaction to remember it? If it does, I would wait for a while. If it doesn't it doesn't mean that it's necessarily integrated (that's highly personal after all), but it's a positive sign.

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules about intervals and integrating

Yes, exactly. What is important is to observe and make sure it's not negatively affecting your mind, your grip on reality, your responsibilities, etc. If you have some friend you trust, you could ask them to let you know if they see you behave in worrying patterns.

You've had a difficult relationship with some substances, so it's worth it to take it easy and have a good support system, in my opinion. DMT is not physically addictive and it tends to not be mentally addictive either, but in the end any substance can be misused. Misuse it's not directly related with frequency, but with the motivations to do it and with its effects: two people can take DMT with the same frequency, but one of them may be misusing it and the other may not. For example, one of them may be using it as a crutch or an escape, or it may be impacting his life negatively while the other person suffers no negative consequences. It's all quite subjective so you and those close to you that you trust will be the best judges of it. What's important is to pay attention and be aware, and to decide what's acceptable to you and what is not. For example, there may be cases where its use as an emotional crutch is not misuse for that person, as it may be better than the realistic alternatives that person has. The point is not to fool oneself.