Valentinus
"Jesus said: He who seeks, let him not cease seeki
Hello all,
I've taken low doses several times and have had 2 experiences where I don't believe I was in my body for a time, so that is probably breakthrough experiences?
I started vaping DMT with a Source Orb 4 (works great), but found Barack Obama's Changa recipe to be very enticing. So I have a couple experiences with that as well.
My freebase experiences tended to focus on alien themes. My only breakthrough experience was when I was laying on an examination table with a heavy looming dense shadow right over me. Though I couldn't see a figure, I knew I was being examined. I hadn't yet read about the Geometric Wreath that appears prior to breakthrough, but what I saw was a shadowed silhouette of a head, obscured by independently rotating geometric shapes stacked on top of each other, each with a solid bright color. Though the shapes were colorful, the head behind was shadowed and hidden. It seemed as though I was alone or something was hiding from me. Then I saw a bright light flash from above the right shoulder of the darkened head. It shined right in my eyes and I could see there was a person holding a light shining it at me, though the light kept me from seeing who I was looking at. Though there was a distance between us, there was no tactile space between. Whenever this person would move, I would instantly feel the movement on my skin. If I writhed under the movement, it affected him also. I remember moving overhead to look at the distance between from, but it looked like a great chasm that was much more vast and empty than 3 dimensional space would allow. somehow, I knew that this was more than just space.
I was struck with two profound realizations. The first was that I was looking at myself who was shining a light into the void searching. I was watching myself watching something, but I couldn't figure out what that made me. Trying to identify which person was the "me" became a very interesting pursuit. My mind was clear enough to really consider these things. Then a second realization came that I was looking at God who was also looking at me. It troubled me a bit that God would be as unfamiliar with me as I am with him. I felt as though these were both true interpretations, though I'm not sure how they fit together (my background in Advaita Vedanta welcomes this paradox).
The experience ended with this person who I was watching giving me an initiation of sorts. A tall obelisk shaped, rainbow colored structure was held in a free floating hand and slowly moved closer and closer to my right eye. There was ambient dramatic noise, spaceship beeping (almost R2D2 beeping) and lots of ambient spaceship sounds. I had the choice to move my head but I kept it still. The structure pierced my right eyeball and then began quickly flowing in and out of my head in a fluid stream resembling a fast moving train. I felt a great achievement from this and felt that I accomplished a lot in this trip. I didn't find it very difficult and though everything looked like an alien abduction to me, I didn't understand it that way. It actually led me to believe that those who think they are abducted may be having more divine encounters and misunderstanding it. All I can say is God is weird.
During my other freebase uses, I asked the spice to be kind to me and help me, which it did, and my other sub-breakthrough experiences were much more pleasant.
I recently just finished making Changa and have had one breakthrough experience from that, though it was much darker and more difficult. I have to add that I've made some very poor choices in life recently and I've done some damage to those that I love. So I'm not surprised by dark energy and forces in my trips. I know they're there and they have to be dealt with.
I love the way Changa lets you wade into hyperspace. Low dose Changa is wonderful for clarity of insight and meditation. I've only had one breakthrough experience (2 days ago) and it was difficult.
I took a big hit right as I saw the geometric forms beginning to form in front of me. Smoking Changa out of a water bong is so easy. The second hit had me rising out of my body before my exhale. I rose into what looked like a funhouse with mirrored walls and creepy faces on the mirrors. The customary and menacing funhouse theme played in the background and everything moved far to fast for me to get a good view of what was going on. I was being laughed at, I could tell, but I couldn't see who was laughing or from where. I kept getting the sensation of the presence of the Carnival "master" who was there and laughing, though he hadn't shown himself yet.
I didn't like this place, and though it feels like I was only there for a second, I don't know how long it was. The peak seemed to wear off all at once and I found myself back in my body on the couch. It felt dark and lonely, and things took a turn for the worst. There were two figures I interacted with here. One is Mother Ayahuasca as I call her, since Changa is basically smokable Aya. She was objective and cold, showing me visions of myself vomiting, laying sick, and dying. She told me these were all things I must do. I spent a lot of time being concerned about where I would throw up if I had to. I don't like throwing up at all but I finally said I would if I had to. Then I didn't have to anymore. Mother Ayahuasca was the quieter voice though. I don't know as much what she was getting at but the second voice was I believe the Carnival Master from the peak experience. He said a lot of dark things and he was discouraging, though I can't remember what was said. I laid there and felt suicidal, and I told myself I'd never do DMT again, that I'd only smoke pot from now on. I laid there and waited for it to pass.
There was a time at the end where I finally had some peace and clarity again. I realized that Mother Aya is "on my side", so to speak, while this other figure is not. In Jung's terms, I wonder if it was my shadow, a manifestation of my own selfishness and destruction. In Gnostic terms, I felt like I was in the land of the Demiurge, while Mother Aya is more of a Sophia (wisdom, divine consciousness) figure.
Integration of this experience has been a little slow. DMT is so strange to me because I would expect that after taking a chemical and having strange brain activity, I'd assume it was just the drug. But these experiences seem so foreign, alien, and "other", I don't think it's all coming from inside me. Rather, I'm a passive observer as things are brought to me from without. Though I was convinced going in I was just going to look inside my mind, I came out convinced I went somewhere else.
This is the extent of my experience so far. I'm sure I could have shortened it a great deal so I appreciate anyone who is still reading now. Looking forward to learning and growing with you all.
I've taken low doses several times and have had 2 experiences where I don't believe I was in my body for a time, so that is probably breakthrough experiences?
I started vaping DMT with a Source Orb 4 (works great), but found Barack Obama's Changa recipe to be very enticing. So I have a couple experiences with that as well.
My freebase experiences tended to focus on alien themes. My only breakthrough experience was when I was laying on an examination table with a heavy looming dense shadow right over me. Though I couldn't see a figure, I knew I was being examined. I hadn't yet read about the Geometric Wreath that appears prior to breakthrough, but what I saw was a shadowed silhouette of a head, obscured by independently rotating geometric shapes stacked on top of each other, each with a solid bright color. Though the shapes were colorful, the head behind was shadowed and hidden. It seemed as though I was alone or something was hiding from me. Then I saw a bright light flash from above the right shoulder of the darkened head. It shined right in my eyes and I could see there was a person holding a light shining it at me, though the light kept me from seeing who I was looking at. Though there was a distance between us, there was no tactile space between. Whenever this person would move, I would instantly feel the movement on my skin. If I writhed under the movement, it affected him also. I remember moving overhead to look at the distance between from, but it looked like a great chasm that was much more vast and empty than 3 dimensional space would allow. somehow, I knew that this was more than just space.
I was struck with two profound realizations. The first was that I was looking at myself who was shining a light into the void searching. I was watching myself watching something, but I couldn't figure out what that made me. Trying to identify which person was the "me" became a very interesting pursuit. My mind was clear enough to really consider these things. Then a second realization came that I was looking at God who was also looking at me. It troubled me a bit that God would be as unfamiliar with me as I am with him. I felt as though these were both true interpretations, though I'm not sure how they fit together (my background in Advaita Vedanta welcomes this paradox).
The experience ended with this person who I was watching giving me an initiation of sorts. A tall obelisk shaped, rainbow colored structure was held in a free floating hand and slowly moved closer and closer to my right eye. There was ambient dramatic noise, spaceship beeping (almost R2D2 beeping) and lots of ambient spaceship sounds. I had the choice to move my head but I kept it still. The structure pierced my right eyeball and then began quickly flowing in and out of my head in a fluid stream resembling a fast moving train. I felt a great achievement from this and felt that I accomplished a lot in this trip. I didn't find it very difficult and though everything looked like an alien abduction to me, I didn't understand it that way. It actually led me to believe that those who think they are abducted may be having more divine encounters and misunderstanding it. All I can say is God is weird.
During my other freebase uses, I asked the spice to be kind to me and help me, which it did, and my other sub-breakthrough experiences were much more pleasant.
I recently just finished making Changa and have had one breakthrough experience from that, though it was much darker and more difficult. I have to add that I've made some very poor choices in life recently and I've done some damage to those that I love. So I'm not surprised by dark energy and forces in my trips. I know they're there and they have to be dealt with.
I love the way Changa lets you wade into hyperspace. Low dose Changa is wonderful for clarity of insight and meditation. I've only had one breakthrough experience (2 days ago) and it was difficult.
I took a big hit right as I saw the geometric forms beginning to form in front of me. Smoking Changa out of a water bong is so easy. The second hit had me rising out of my body before my exhale. I rose into what looked like a funhouse with mirrored walls and creepy faces on the mirrors. The customary and menacing funhouse theme played in the background and everything moved far to fast for me to get a good view of what was going on. I was being laughed at, I could tell, but I couldn't see who was laughing or from where. I kept getting the sensation of the presence of the Carnival "master" who was there and laughing, though he hadn't shown himself yet.
I didn't like this place, and though it feels like I was only there for a second, I don't know how long it was. The peak seemed to wear off all at once and I found myself back in my body on the couch. It felt dark and lonely, and things took a turn for the worst. There were two figures I interacted with here. One is Mother Ayahuasca as I call her, since Changa is basically smokable Aya. She was objective and cold, showing me visions of myself vomiting, laying sick, and dying. She told me these were all things I must do. I spent a lot of time being concerned about where I would throw up if I had to. I don't like throwing up at all but I finally said I would if I had to. Then I didn't have to anymore. Mother Ayahuasca was the quieter voice though. I don't know as much what she was getting at but the second voice was I believe the Carnival Master from the peak experience. He said a lot of dark things and he was discouraging, though I can't remember what was said. I laid there and felt suicidal, and I told myself I'd never do DMT again, that I'd only smoke pot from now on. I laid there and waited for it to pass.
There was a time at the end where I finally had some peace and clarity again. I realized that Mother Aya is "on my side", so to speak, while this other figure is not. In Jung's terms, I wonder if it was my shadow, a manifestation of my own selfishness and destruction. In Gnostic terms, I felt like I was in the land of the Demiurge, while Mother Aya is more of a Sophia (wisdom, divine consciousness) figure.
Integration of this experience has been a little slow. DMT is so strange to me because I would expect that after taking a chemical and having strange brain activity, I'd assume it was just the drug. But these experiences seem so foreign, alien, and "other", I don't think it's all coming from inside me. Rather, I'm a passive observer as things are brought to me from without. Though I was convinced going in I was just going to look inside my mind, I came out convinced I went somewhere else.
This is the extent of my experience so far. I'm sure I could have shortened it a great deal so I appreciate anyone who is still reading now. Looking forward to learning and growing with you all.
