So I've been curious about DMT since pre-internet days when it seemed that nobody else had even heard of it, let alone knew where or how to get it. As awareness has spread since the 90's it's become easier to find, but it took me a long time to finally decide to do it. I recently got hold of some, and decided to finally give it a try.
So I had done a fair amount of reading and knew that I should start with a smallish dose; however, I didn't yet have a mg scale. I was excited to give it a try though, so I decided to eyeball it (I know, bad idea). I had a small glass chillum, and I stuffed it with a piece of steel wool, similar to "the machine," then loaded it up with a couple small scoops -- I estimated it to be about 30 mgs, but obviously I have no idea how close I was. I sat in my bed, with the lights off, and partly under the blankets. I was a little nervous as I got ready for the first hit. I held the flame of the lighter a little below the pipe and began to draw. The first thing I noticed was the taste and the smell, which were definitely unpleasant, but I was expecting that. It wasn't near as harsh as I expected, though, so I think I did a fair job of vaporizing it and not burning. I took a fair-sized toke, but definitely less than I could have. I held it in, but not as long as I could have. I didn't feel anything happen until after I exhaled. Just as I was about to take the 2nd hit, I felt something start to happen, and made the quick decision not to take the 2nd hit. I decided I'd just see what happened and get a taste of the experience.
I should have mentioned, I do take SSRI's for anxiety & depression. I had read that this would probably reduce the intensity of the experience, or that I might not experience it at all, so when I felt it start to kick in I thought I should see how strong the experience was going to be before trying to go farther.
So I leaned back and closed my eyes, and saw bright kaleidescopic images. That was about the extent of it, though. The visuals were intense, but not that interesting. Throughout the experience I felt a little nervous and uncomfortable, but this was very mild. I tried to smile, thinking it would make me feel better, but smiling felt unfamiliar and unnatural. Still, the uncomfortable feeling was very mild and didn't really concern me much. I was aware that it would be over very quickly. After what felt like 2-3 minutes, the visuals were fading and I opened my eyes. For the next several minutes, the blankets were moving in waves, and I felt pleasantly relaxed. Overall, I'd call it a "neutral" experience; it was neither positive nor negative, but at least I had a vague idea of what it would be like. I could tell there was a lot more to this substance, though.
The next day, I ordered a scale. The following day, while waiting for the scale to arrive, I decided to finish what was left in the pipe. I was certain there wouldn't be too much left, and wanted to be sure that my first properly measured dose would be accurate. Again, probably not the smartest decision, but it worked out fine. Again I sat in bed with the covers over me and took the first hit. This time I tried to get everything in 1 hit, and I think I did a fair job of it. I held it in for at least 10 seconds (I counted) and felt it kicking in while I was still holding it. I exhaled and immediately tried to take a 2nd hit to get anything that might be left. I can't say if I got anything or not from that hit, but by the time I exhaled everything looked like I was looking through a sheet of plastic wrap, and I closed my eyes.
This was a decidedly positive experience, but I know there's more. Again, intense kaleidescopic patterns. The colors would change from dull pastels to bright "cartoon-like" colors (cartoons were exactly what it reminded me of). There were subtle images of faces at times. Stronger than the visuals, though, was the feeling that I had some type of deeper understanding right at my fingertips, but I couldn't quite grasp it. It wasn't frustrating that I couldn't quite "get it." It was more comforting, knowing that the knowledge was there and that I was so close to reaching it. I'm not even sure what "it" was, but I feel like it's still there for me to discover. The feeling happened a few times. It was like I was coming out of the experience in steps. I'd get close to the knowledge I was grasping at, then it would slip away and I was one step closer to "normal." Then it happened again, and another step. I'd say I felt this maybe 3 times, each time a little bit less intense than the previous. Finally I opened my eyes and again watched the blankets making waves. This time I felt more than just pleasant, I felt happy and excited to try this again. I could really feel that there was something more to gain.
So now I have a scale and I'm preparing for the next attempt. I have not taken my meds since Wednesday (it's Saturday today); not long enough for withdrawals, but hopefully enough that I can get the full experience. I plan to try again this evening or tomorrow.
Now that I have a scale and a couple very light experiences, what would be a reasonable dose? I am thinking of starting with 30 mg. I know that's probably not going to get me to "break through" and I'm ok with that, although I wouldn't mind if it did happen. Does this sound like a good plan? Should I go higher/lower? Any other advice you can offer?
Thanks!
So I had done a fair amount of reading and knew that I should start with a smallish dose; however, I didn't yet have a mg scale. I was excited to give it a try though, so I decided to eyeball it (I know, bad idea). I had a small glass chillum, and I stuffed it with a piece of steel wool, similar to "the machine," then loaded it up with a couple small scoops -- I estimated it to be about 30 mgs, but obviously I have no idea how close I was. I sat in my bed, with the lights off, and partly under the blankets. I was a little nervous as I got ready for the first hit. I held the flame of the lighter a little below the pipe and began to draw. The first thing I noticed was the taste and the smell, which were definitely unpleasant, but I was expecting that. It wasn't near as harsh as I expected, though, so I think I did a fair job of vaporizing it and not burning. I took a fair-sized toke, but definitely less than I could have. I held it in, but not as long as I could have. I didn't feel anything happen until after I exhaled. Just as I was about to take the 2nd hit, I felt something start to happen, and made the quick decision not to take the 2nd hit. I decided I'd just see what happened and get a taste of the experience.
I should have mentioned, I do take SSRI's for anxiety & depression. I had read that this would probably reduce the intensity of the experience, or that I might not experience it at all, so when I felt it start to kick in I thought I should see how strong the experience was going to be before trying to go farther.
So I leaned back and closed my eyes, and saw bright kaleidescopic images. That was about the extent of it, though. The visuals were intense, but not that interesting. Throughout the experience I felt a little nervous and uncomfortable, but this was very mild. I tried to smile, thinking it would make me feel better, but smiling felt unfamiliar and unnatural. Still, the uncomfortable feeling was very mild and didn't really concern me much. I was aware that it would be over very quickly. After what felt like 2-3 minutes, the visuals were fading and I opened my eyes. For the next several minutes, the blankets were moving in waves, and I felt pleasantly relaxed. Overall, I'd call it a "neutral" experience; it was neither positive nor negative, but at least I had a vague idea of what it would be like. I could tell there was a lot more to this substance, though.
The next day, I ordered a scale. The following day, while waiting for the scale to arrive, I decided to finish what was left in the pipe. I was certain there wouldn't be too much left, and wanted to be sure that my first properly measured dose would be accurate. Again, probably not the smartest decision, but it worked out fine. Again I sat in bed with the covers over me and took the first hit. This time I tried to get everything in 1 hit, and I think I did a fair job of it. I held it in for at least 10 seconds (I counted) and felt it kicking in while I was still holding it. I exhaled and immediately tried to take a 2nd hit to get anything that might be left. I can't say if I got anything or not from that hit, but by the time I exhaled everything looked like I was looking through a sheet of plastic wrap, and I closed my eyes.
This was a decidedly positive experience, but I know there's more. Again, intense kaleidescopic patterns. The colors would change from dull pastels to bright "cartoon-like" colors (cartoons were exactly what it reminded me of). There were subtle images of faces at times. Stronger than the visuals, though, was the feeling that I had some type of deeper understanding right at my fingertips, but I couldn't quite grasp it. It wasn't frustrating that I couldn't quite "get it." It was more comforting, knowing that the knowledge was there and that I was so close to reaching it. I'm not even sure what "it" was, but I feel like it's still there for me to discover. The feeling happened a few times. It was like I was coming out of the experience in steps. I'd get close to the knowledge I was grasping at, then it would slip away and I was one step closer to "normal." Then it happened again, and another step. I'd say I felt this maybe 3 times, each time a little bit less intense than the previous. Finally I opened my eyes and again watched the blankets making waves. This time I felt more than just pleasant, I felt happy and excited to try this again. I could really feel that there was something more to gain.
So now I have a scale and I'm preparing for the next attempt. I have not taken my meds since Wednesday (it's Saturday today); not long enough for withdrawals, but hopefully enough that I can get the full experience. I plan to try again this evening or tomorrow.
Now that I have a scale and a couple very light experiences, what would be a reasonable dose? I am thinking of starting with 30 mg. I know that's probably not going to get me to "break through" and I'm ok with that, although I wouldn't mind if it did happen. Does this sound like a good plan? Should I go higher/lower? Any other advice you can offer?
Thanks!