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First, last, and only trip report.

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Nice trip report, I'd say it gave you exactly what you needed to see. I see so much inner turmoil in you, I hope you use this experience positively and learn from it. Reading this makes me want to make a DMT rich brew for my own roller coaster ride!!! I think i'll do it, later nexus heh.
 
inaniel said:
the thought of some angry punk kid on some fucked up aya analogue brew shouting obscenities at terence mckenna and nexus members while simultaneously expressing concern over mommy's shiny new tiles.... fantastic.
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Messing up the kitchen tiles with my acidic vomit is the kind of random thing that would pop into my head in a situation like this and, to be fair, worrying about ruining his mum"s floor does indicate a certain amout of responsibility and respect for said mother.

Ron i am relying on the idea that you maybe lurking in the background reading peoples replies (that"s the kind of thing that i would do after an epic flounce such as yours).

What did you hope to get out of the experience? If it was just for kicks i get that. I always do drugs for fun and any insights i get, personal or otherwise, are a bonus. If you were doing it to do work on yourself then it seems to me that you gained quite a bit a material to get to the grist of any hang ups that maybe plaguing your quest for personal growth.

You got advice from people in another thread who, as far as i can see, were not being condescending (although quite a few are being condescending in this thread but you can"t really blame them too much, you got their backs up) And then got your arse handed to you on a plate when you ignored their advice. We all end up integrating dramatic and traumatic experiences, whether it be in a positive way or negative and how you choose to integrate this is entirely up to you.

You made a mistake and gained experience. Now go forth and dont just grasp the nettle but pull it up by the roots and toss it in the faces of your demons.

I also enjoyed your trip report, even though it had quite a bit of swearing in it. I can forgive this as i too swear quite a bit after i have taken a decent dose of DMT.
 
Ron:

I write this as a welcome back for when you return.

You are far from the first person who has had an experience like this. Many take some time to integrate their experience, apologize to the cat turds for going back on a promise, and then dip into the tides of DMT again.

I imagine the overwhelming burden you walk around with has lessened, if even a little because of your experience. With careful work, you can find a way to lessen the burden more, and DMT can be part of your recovery (though it doesn't have to be).

Write more about your experience and your thoughts about it. Once you get past the anger and shock, you will find other, more complicated recollections and feelings. You are not alone and can find support here.
 
Nathanial.Dread said:
Christ, we're not as big on compassion as I thought we were on The Nexus...
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Personally it just fails me to hug someone who just spit in the face. Compassion is not always that tap on the shoulder, sometimes its like saying the hard truth/facts if there is a smell, for his own betterment.
Too bad he hasn't returned yet with a sobered sight on things, I hope he does eventually.
 
Been reading the trip report RJ wrote. Although he is harsh and lacks some insights, the experience is not enterily strange.

I don't know how to give words to this things I see here, but let me try.

Psychedelics tend to teach you things simple and in harmony with the deeper layers of being.

But... at the same time I experience in life a sort of dislodging toward this beingness of life. Like it's in the way people act and behave with one another and how I'm a part of this.

Like that job at the ISP, when I went to work and took the phone 100 times a day hearing people complain about their internet and blaming me for this and that. In the end I either was angry about some of them, felt guilty about some other or just tended to look down on some for their lack of simple insight into connecting a cable. All of these were opinions and judgements and none were really true.

Tripping after such a day would make me go through all those feelings, at once and mingled jumbled, losing the sight on who I was and the person on the other line. Could be called a bad trip but it was really caring for me, cause when days go on like this on the job, I would start to you know lose track of things and just be a robot. Dislodged from the true self in a way. So psychedelics in this case did sort of act like a sort of antidote to the craziness that crept in.
 
He will but it is going to take some time I believe. Though I am very certain that he will give it another try, albeit with somewhat lower dose.
 
There is no way I can even read the post OP. It sounds like you are full of anger and hatred. Experience is good for you no matter if its good or bad but if you were not prepared to be sick then you did not do any research on the substance you took and therefor were not ready and if you are not ready you definitely get hyper slapped. If you are ready the hyperslap is taken as neither good nor bad but simply experience.

IMO if you want it to be clean then you have to get isolations not whole plant and even cleaner with the MAOI predose an hour beforehand to allow stomach to get used to it and improve mood going in. If you are going to take the violent home brew style it is a crap shoot and I don't think ANYONE especially Terrence lied to you about that, you just didn't research.
 
Quite a trip, but instead of having been judgemental/fought whatever you saw/experienced you should have gone with it and listened rather than questioned.
Anyway, its a great experience, surely you will do it again and you will understand it better and square with whatever troubled you.

So long friend.
 
Thank you for the post. It made me laugh, and now I don't have to learn through direct experience that taking large doses of aya analogues probably isn't the trip I'm looking for. Probably wouldn't do that in the first place though.

Good luck with integration!
 
OMG This thread is priceless just like the other member said :

inaniel said:
the thought of some angry punk kid on some fucked up aya analogue brew shouting obscenities at terence mckenna and nexus members while simultaneously expressing concern over mommy's shiny new tiles.... fantastic.
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Jakup said:
Psybin said:
Sounds like you didn't take everyone's advice and they were right.


Btw, you need to check your attitude because that's not how we operate: Attitude Page - DMT-Nexus Wiki
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I don't think he cares. It sounds like he's not coming back to this site anyways.

OP sounds like he has a lot of negative energy just swirling around inside his soul. The trip was trying to tell him that, but it just made him angry. Go figure.

And he should have been ready for some gastro-intestinal distress.
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Amen. I was thinking the same things when I was reading his trip report. That's usually how I see demons in my trips; as the darkness in me that I may or may not be willing to accept about myself. Bad memories are bad memories. We should be able to face them instead of crumbling at the knees like a child and spewing fire all over everyone else because your trip was not like theirs.

Ron_Jeremy said:
“Hello? Can you see me? Can you hear me? Why won’t you talk to me? You’re supposed to be here to help me. You’re supposed to welcome me.”
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I mean listen to the expectancy! You're "Supposed" to help me. It sounds demanding almost. A sort of self entitlement. That's not going to give you a good trip. Not anyone. If you are looking at real entities here and I was one of those entities, I would have ignored him too and left him be to face his own weaknesses. You're "supposed" to help yourself. No one is SUPPOSED to do anything for you. Genuine respect is earned, not demanded. Everywhere.

It's an individual experience and I agree that he could have been facing some of his own negative energy and didn't like it. Each to their own. He may need to deal with some demons and bad memories before entering into this world again. Maybe he won't and that's up to him. As long as he isn't hurting anyone else in this process.
 
Have not heard of an egg tea for Aya. Have tonnes of acacia bark and mimosa and a bunch of Syrian rue. What will happen if it is done with just Syrian rue and acacia or mimosa? Are we not supposed to purge.
 
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