100 mg hamalasHCL rectally, 30 min later 20 mg vaped perfectly with gvg in 1 took.
Instead of a circus, straight into the void, completely nothingness, no awareness at all, nothing to like or dislike, no fears as there was nothing that can be fearful, no thoughts, no observations, no consciousness, no time, no existence, no colors, no me no void, complete OUT.
The coming back was first awareness but only that, no world or frame where it fits in, this awareness was still 100% un-linked to me. There was still no person "me".
First thoughts or insights arise, and was compassion to everything that does exist because it felt almost pitiful, because it must have a hard time due existing. In a sense that the choice of existing as matter is a bit of a poor choice, but also necessary step somehow, deserving compassion for its task.
Fast forward...
I am a person, having a body, in the world of existing.
I lie naked on the couch (started the session naked), look at my body, it is strange (yet familiar).
There is something on my skin, looking like signs. focusing on it makes the signs become clear, I focus on 1 part in particular the pelvis region (between navel and genitals) and see light emanating code, very clear "text" on its skin, I move a bit and see it is really embedded there, it moves along. This is not hyperspace fantasy but almost sober factual reading. Unable to decode or read what it is, code half an inch high, very neat written, a few lines. A modern font design.
This session, there was no body load whatsoever, all was smooth and not fast at all. Very peaceful. No yawnings & no tears in the coming down as usual, very clean experience.
Like a major reboot, reset, complete to nil ... and back, and seeing that code.
Carried an extreme calmness trough he whole day, as if a bit of that void was not lost but addressable frequency as an asset, as a gift, hopefully forever, a reference point of huge importance, making all un-necessary frills of life in highlight.
The neighbors cat visits the porch, I sing some soft tuned icaro improvisations to it, the cats likes it more than anything and stays much longer than usual.
Grateful...
Instead of a circus, straight into the void, completely nothingness, no awareness at all, nothing to like or dislike, no fears as there was nothing that can be fearful, no thoughts, no observations, no consciousness, no time, no existence, no colors, no me no void, complete OUT.
The coming back was first awareness but only that, no world or frame where it fits in, this awareness was still 100% un-linked to me. There was still no person "me".
First thoughts or insights arise, and was compassion to everything that does exist because it felt almost pitiful, because it must have a hard time due existing. In a sense that the choice of existing as matter is a bit of a poor choice, but also necessary step somehow, deserving compassion for its task.
Fast forward...
I am a person, having a body, in the world of existing.
I lie naked on the couch (started the session naked), look at my body, it is strange (yet familiar).
There is something on my skin, looking like signs. focusing on it makes the signs become clear, I focus on 1 part in particular the pelvis region (between navel and genitals) and see light emanating code, very clear "text" on its skin, I move a bit and see it is really embedded there, it moves along. This is not hyperspace fantasy but almost sober factual reading. Unable to decode or read what it is, code half an inch high, very neat written, a few lines. A modern font design.
This session, there was no body load whatsoever, all was smooth and not fast at all. Very peaceful. No yawnings & no tears in the coming down as usual, very clean experience.
Like a major reboot, reset, complete to nil ... and back, and seeing that code.
Carried an extreme calmness trough he whole day, as if a bit of that void was not lost but addressable frequency as an asset, as a gift, hopefully forever, a reference point of huge importance, making all un-necessary frills of life in highlight.
The neighbors cat visits the porch, I sing some soft tuned icaro improvisations to it, the cats likes it more than anything and stays much longer than usual.
Grateful...
