brighteyes
Rising Star
Trip report
So this is my first trip report ever. I tried Dimitri for the first time yesterday and now is the time to share with more people than just my closest friends and family.
It´s a lot of words, but so is DMT.
Skip to the section "Time for the ultimate of travels" if you are not in the mood for a small novel, but I still recommend reading it all.
Data:
Crystallized DMT
Dose: 20mg (good quality scale from Germany)
Device: Vaporgenie Glass Sherlock with concentrate pad
Age: 36
weight: 185 pounds or 84 kilograms
I consider myself a fairly seasoned psychonaut and have had an interest in psychedelics since high school. For many years I didn´t use any substances other than alcohol and nicotine, but lately, my longstanding interest has had somewhat of a surge.
So I fulfilled an old dream of cultivating magic mushrooms and I loved it. Both the process and to be able to jump into the wonky world of Pcilocybin again. Reading about the discoveries of the potential therapeutic benefits from this relatively harmless and peculiar substance fueled an intense interest in learning more about it. I started to listen to Terence Mckenna again, but this time I didn´t just laugh about the craziness in his eloquent enlightenment, instead, I really listened.
I got interested in his description of the impact of using mushrooms alone, with closed eyes using minimal external stimuli. It sounded so simple and it showed respect to Pcilocybin.
The meditative mushroom trip:
I decided to try. No more great music, no more uncontrollable laughing from watching a weird movie with a co-traveler. Just me and the Divine.
I consumed 2 grams of dried mushrooms on an empty stomach (a fairly low dose in my opinion) at home. Laying down in a sofa I started breathing deeply and waited for it to come to me.
With a little skepticism as baggage I thought to my self, "How interesting can it really be to look at geometrical patterns with closed eyes?".
Gone was that baggage, lost in space, when I started seeing so much more than random squares. Complex and personal multifaceted visions and a sense of awe to the perceived presence of something greater than planet Earth was what happened.
After this experience I started to think I´m heading for something like a black belt in psychedelics. I´ll become a medicine man one day, great!
Enter, DMT.
What medicine man has anything to say if that person hasn´t even tried what could be described as the most powerful psychedelic known to man?
After some research I realized I’d have to cook it myself if I was going to get my hands on it.
Said and done. With the invaluable help of you people here on the Nexus, I managed to produce around 250 mg of the spirit molecule.
With my deep respect for all compounds, and DMT in particular, I decided to wait until the time was right to try it, so there was no stress.
The weird/bad meditative mushroom trip:
One day I decided to make my second attempt at eating mushrooms alone and meditate. This time I consumed 3 grams as opposed to 2, also on an empty stomach. From my experience a medium dose, maybe of a stronger note.
At the time, I had a personal issue of a somewhat troubling nature. Everyone I loved was healthy, and the financial situation was in order, so it was something of a first world problem, albeit a troubling one. I was well aware that this was a risk, but decided it wasn´t enough to abstain.
After all, you could argue that it´s never a good idea to eat magic mushrooms because of, for an example, the food chain. From a certain perspective the world is always a dark place if you know what I mean.
With closed eyes I started experience things of interest, but nothing at all like the first time. After a while I did´t feel like looking at my eyelids anymore and opened my eyes feeling strong effects from the 3 grams.
For the first time ever, I realized I was having what everybody had been writing about but never had affected me, a bad trip.
There was no fear or delusion, just a feeling of general discomfort with my situation and loopy thoughts about my personal problem described earlier.
There was also an unpleasant physical sensation I had not felt before. It was not pain or nausea, it was something else, something I can´t really describe.
I watched a movie and managed to endure the bad trip with relative ease. Being quite high, I saw weird things in the movie. But for the first time ever, I was not impressed or flabbergasted from what the Gods were showing me. I basically ignored it and watched the movie as if I was sober (almost because I was laughing enormously at certain scenes) but had a visual impairment. It was as if I had grown up so to speak, just like a kid who all of a sudden isn´t interested in playing hide and seek anymore.
Time for the ultimate of travels:
Yesterday, about one month after the bad mushroom trip, the day of reckoning was here. Time to try DMT for the first time ever.
My girlfriend asked me why I was going to do it, and I said I needed to see what all the fuss was about.
On the morning I took my bike to work and felt a little down. During the ride, I told myself the good things about myself, and my life. I really had no reason to feel bad, and by the time it was afternoon, my spirit was high again. The plan was to do it in the evening.
My brother was the sober trip sitter, I was at home, I felt good and nervous, and the situation with my personal issue described earlier had improved quite a bit since the bad mushroom trip.
My brother was seated on a chair in my bedroom, equipped with a watch to have an understanding about the duration of the trip. After all, watching your brother being unconscious or unresponsive for up to 15 minutes can be a trip in and of itself. And because cell phones and other distractions were not allowed, the watch could become handy.
I was sitting in my bed, in relative darkness, and started lighting the pipe.
Slowly but steadily I inhaled the vapor from having basically empty lungs, to filling them. I held the smoke in and felt an intense effect. After having exhaled I tried to make a second inhalation, but had to lay the stuff and myself down midway, cause shit got crazy.
With closed eyes I started seeing fast and intense geometrical formations and I thought to myself that I had to surrender, let it guide me and accept that I might loose control of reality, or probably would.
This is when I realized I had been there before. The physical sensation and overall feeling was similar to my bad trip with mushrooms. I know the two molecules, Pcilocybin and DMT, are very similar, but I was not prepared for the high to be so closely related to a mushroom trip.
I tried to accept it as something that isn´t necessarily a bad thing, but couldn´t really get to that point. From what I afterwards believe must have been at the gates in the first phase of the trip, I opened my eyes and asked my brother how much time had passed. One minute, he said.
I closed my eyes again and in front of me was a pulsating cube the size of a small cottage house. The intensity was electrifying. The whole thing felt similar to the mushroom trip but a thousand times stronger. Completely aware and basically sober, like an observer of my own state of stupor. High as a kite and completely in control at the same time. Very strange indeed.
I opened my eyes again and felt a feeling of panic for a few seconds. Quickly, I told myself its only ten minutes. Endure.
- "I´m very glad you are here", I told my brother.
After opening my eyes for the third time a few minutes later, looking at the ceiling with completely distorted vision, I said to myself quietly, "I love reality, I love you."
About 15 minutes later, I was completely back to base line.
The most prevalent feeling afterwards was that of disappointment. Not with DMT, not with the trip, but with myself. I thought I was close to becoming a self proclaimed medicine man in a modern and detached world, but in reality I was just a coward. Someone who didn´t have what it takes to experience total loss of control. A weak person to whom the doors of another reality were closed.
Is DMT not for me, or am I a person who likes scuba diving more than skydiving? Maybe I should stick to microdosing mushrooms and accept that the strong stuff is for the big guys?
Am I a nagging control freak without the ability to let go?
Have the teachers already given me all the lessons and there is nothing more to learn?
I´m thinking, if 20mg only took me to the door, how on earth will I be able to break through to the other side without loosing my mind?
Thanks for reading and all comments would be highly appreciated.
So this is my first trip report ever. I tried Dimitri for the first time yesterday and now is the time to share with more people than just my closest friends and family.
It´s a lot of words, but so is DMT.
Skip to the section "Time for the ultimate of travels" if you are not in the mood for a small novel, but I still recommend reading it all.
Data:
Crystallized DMT
Dose: 20mg (good quality scale from Germany)
Device: Vaporgenie Glass Sherlock with concentrate pad
Age: 36
weight: 185 pounds or 84 kilograms
I consider myself a fairly seasoned psychonaut and have had an interest in psychedelics since high school. For many years I didn´t use any substances other than alcohol and nicotine, but lately, my longstanding interest has had somewhat of a surge.
So I fulfilled an old dream of cultivating magic mushrooms and I loved it. Both the process and to be able to jump into the wonky world of Pcilocybin again. Reading about the discoveries of the potential therapeutic benefits from this relatively harmless and peculiar substance fueled an intense interest in learning more about it. I started to listen to Terence Mckenna again, but this time I didn´t just laugh about the craziness in his eloquent enlightenment, instead, I really listened.
I got interested in his description of the impact of using mushrooms alone, with closed eyes using minimal external stimuli. It sounded so simple and it showed respect to Pcilocybin.
The meditative mushroom trip:
I decided to try. No more great music, no more uncontrollable laughing from watching a weird movie with a co-traveler. Just me and the Divine.
I consumed 2 grams of dried mushrooms on an empty stomach (a fairly low dose in my opinion) at home. Laying down in a sofa I started breathing deeply and waited for it to come to me.
With a little skepticism as baggage I thought to my self, "How interesting can it really be to look at geometrical patterns with closed eyes?".
Gone was that baggage, lost in space, when I started seeing so much more than random squares. Complex and personal multifaceted visions and a sense of awe to the perceived presence of something greater than planet Earth was what happened.
After this experience I started to think I´m heading for something like a black belt in psychedelics. I´ll become a medicine man one day, great!
Enter, DMT.
What medicine man has anything to say if that person hasn´t even tried what could be described as the most powerful psychedelic known to man?
After some research I realized I’d have to cook it myself if I was going to get my hands on it.
Said and done. With the invaluable help of you people here on the Nexus, I managed to produce around 250 mg of the spirit molecule.
With my deep respect for all compounds, and DMT in particular, I decided to wait until the time was right to try it, so there was no stress.
The weird/bad meditative mushroom trip:
One day I decided to make my second attempt at eating mushrooms alone and meditate. This time I consumed 3 grams as opposed to 2, also on an empty stomach. From my experience a medium dose, maybe of a stronger note.
At the time, I had a personal issue of a somewhat troubling nature. Everyone I loved was healthy, and the financial situation was in order, so it was something of a first world problem, albeit a troubling one. I was well aware that this was a risk, but decided it wasn´t enough to abstain.
After all, you could argue that it´s never a good idea to eat magic mushrooms because of, for an example, the food chain. From a certain perspective the world is always a dark place if you know what I mean.
With closed eyes I started experience things of interest, but nothing at all like the first time. After a while I did´t feel like looking at my eyelids anymore and opened my eyes feeling strong effects from the 3 grams.
For the first time ever, I realized I was having what everybody had been writing about but never had affected me, a bad trip.
There was no fear or delusion, just a feeling of general discomfort with my situation and loopy thoughts about my personal problem described earlier.
There was also an unpleasant physical sensation I had not felt before. It was not pain or nausea, it was something else, something I can´t really describe.
I watched a movie and managed to endure the bad trip with relative ease. Being quite high, I saw weird things in the movie. But for the first time ever, I was not impressed or flabbergasted from what the Gods were showing me. I basically ignored it and watched the movie as if I was sober (almost because I was laughing enormously at certain scenes) but had a visual impairment. It was as if I had grown up so to speak, just like a kid who all of a sudden isn´t interested in playing hide and seek anymore.
Time for the ultimate of travels:
Yesterday, about one month after the bad mushroom trip, the day of reckoning was here. Time to try DMT for the first time ever.
My girlfriend asked me why I was going to do it, and I said I needed to see what all the fuss was about.
On the morning I took my bike to work and felt a little down. During the ride, I told myself the good things about myself, and my life. I really had no reason to feel bad, and by the time it was afternoon, my spirit was high again. The plan was to do it in the evening.
My brother was the sober trip sitter, I was at home, I felt good and nervous, and the situation with my personal issue described earlier had improved quite a bit since the bad mushroom trip.
My brother was seated on a chair in my bedroom, equipped with a watch to have an understanding about the duration of the trip. After all, watching your brother being unconscious or unresponsive for up to 15 minutes can be a trip in and of itself. And because cell phones and other distractions were not allowed, the watch could become handy.
I was sitting in my bed, in relative darkness, and started lighting the pipe.
Slowly but steadily I inhaled the vapor from having basically empty lungs, to filling them. I held the smoke in and felt an intense effect. After having exhaled I tried to make a second inhalation, but had to lay the stuff and myself down midway, cause shit got crazy.
With closed eyes I started seeing fast and intense geometrical formations and I thought to myself that I had to surrender, let it guide me and accept that I might loose control of reality, or probably would.
This is when I realized I had been there before. The physical sensation and overall feeling was similar to my bad trip with mushrooms. I know the two molecules, Pcilocybin and DMT, are very similar, but I was not prepared for the high to be so closely related to a mushroom trip.
I tried to accept it as something that isn´t necessarily a bad thing, but couldn´t really get to that point. From what I afterwards believe must have been at the gates in the first phase of the trip, I opened my eyes and asked my brother how much time had passed. One minute, he said.
I closed my eyes again and in front of me was a pulsating cube the size of a small cottage house. The intensity was electrifying. The whole thing felt similar to the mushroom trip but a thousand times stronger. Completely aware and basically sober, like an observer of my own state of stupor. High as a kite and completely in control at the same time. Very strange indeed.
I opened my eyes again and felt a feeling of panic for a few seconds. Quickly, I told myself its only ten minutes. Endure.
- "I´m very glad you are here", I told my brother.
After opening my eyes for the third time a few minutes later, looking at the ceiling with completely distorted vision, I said to myself quietly, "I love reality, I love you."
About 15 minutes later, I was completely back to base line.
The most prevalent feeling afterwards was that of disappointment. Not with DMT, not with the trip, but with myself. I thought I was close to becoming a self proclaimed medicine man in a modern and detached world, but in reality I was just a coward. Someone who didn´t have what it takes to experience total loss of control. A weak person to whom the doors of another reality were closed.
Is DMT not for me, or am I a person who likes scuba diving more than skydiving? Maybe I should stick to microdosing mushrooms and accept that the strong stuff is for the big guys?
Am I a nagging control freak without the ability to let go?
Have the teachers already given me all the lessons and there is nothing more to learn?
I´m thinking, if 20mg only took me to the door, how on earth will I be able to break through to the other side without loosing my mind?
Thanks for reading and all comments would be highly appreciated.
I done my first trip 4 days ago and I struggled to let go and that's what I kept telling myself through the fear and terror. I went through reality breakdown, I questioned everything i perceived as real, my car, my phone, my boyfriend, my sitter. My sitter coached my through the breathing and I think that's how I got to get so deep. At one stage I was gone and I heard him say inhale I couldn't feel my face at this stage and hadn't a clue if I was inhaling or not. He took car of strength etc as I'm a rookie and haven't done anything like this before. This was a shot in the dark fro me to cure my life long phych issues. You will know when you get deep it's like nothing you could ever imagine. Even now when I hear music, the piano and violin sounds I can feel it still run through me. I have very bad stuff in my trip too real life bad stuff came through to me but I feel it came through to help me help myself. It scared the bejesus out of me but also was the most beautiful experience of my life. I'm not a kid and don't do recreational drugs or drink too much but I wasn't sacred to do this but I did fight it when it took me in but once I somewhat let go ah man it's indescribable. My post explains in more detail my trip and have a look is ye like but it really does get to the core of you