Warrior
At Peace
Primer: I'm the adventurous type, and have always spent a lot of time in the wilderness on my own. I've always felt you can never experience true wilderness unless you are 100% off the map, on your own, with nothing left but your wits and survival instinct. I don't recommend this sort of thing unless you already deeply enjoy this. It's not for everybody. The idea is to craft a harrowing adventure in which you have the means to sharpen a given set of skills.
I found myself camping under the full moon in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by cacti and mountains made entirely of boulders. No flashlights were necessary at all, (with or without a substance that potentiates the visual experience). I had enough of an Aya analogue for two breakthrough experiences, (or one super-critical experience). I drank 2/3 of it after the moon had risen to full glory and a fire had been burning long enough to generate a bed of warm embers. This should have been a good, walloping dose. I had fasted for 16 hours, and found myself experiencing powerful static pattern overlay (SPO), which I felt gave me tremendous insight into how all the thorned desert plants came into existence the way they have. They 'try' to be scary. That's their strategy in life... Conservative with resources, barbed thorns to make those they interact with never forget, and they stand tall to intimidate and persuade animals to leave them alone. Cacti try to be scary.
The fire was alive and ethereal, and a source of deep trance experience, (but no breakthrough yet). I watched keenly as the spirit of the tree was escaping the wood during combustion. The heat it gave me was deeply appreciated. Walking about and exploring under the full moon in this state was incredible to say the least. But after over 3 hours of this passive, seemingly low dose experience, I wanted to either drink the rest and breakthrough, or give up, eat my late dinner, and get into my warm tent. But I had hiked a bit during the day and therefore was very hungry. I was even tired of trying to decide whether to drink again or eat, so I took that last 1/3 of the packed Aya and dumped it onto a cactus next to my tent so I couldn't flounder the decision any longer. It was about 3 hours and 15 minutes in when I ate a few bites of a meal, decided all I wanted to do was to clean up the campsite and get into bed. I was officially giving up. I could try and meditate in my tent if I felt inclined. That was part of the plan, but I had to move the food away and make the fire situation safe first.
I grabbed my cooler and camel pack and began the half mile walk back to my car where I would lock up the food and refill the water pouch. On the leisurely walk through the cacti I was eating an apple. I got to the car, put down the cooler, and took a few more steps beyond to throw the apple core in the opposite direction of my path when 'it' hit me. I broke through to hyperspace OUT OF NOWHERE. No warning, no build up. It was pushing on 3.5 hours after drinking, and it just HIT like a freight train out of the dark. I was transported to a world of Aztec-ian spiral art machines, completely inundated with OEV's. I was overwhelmed. I wasn't where I had planned to be (in my tent or next to the fire), and I still had some simple tasks to complete that were important to complete. The thought of dealing with coyotes or dehydration were legitimate and real, (but not immediately threatening). My logic was to just do what I needed to do, get back to my tent, and chill. But... Where had my keys gone to? Did I lose my keys??? I was 30 miles from the nearest town, and in a place where no locksmith would/could ever go...
Rational thinking overcame fear again, and I reminded myself that my keys hadn't been taken out of my bag since arriving. Finding them in the bag took several frantic minutes of problem solving, but I accomplished the task. Keys in hand. Vehicle opened. Food put inside. Water sloppily poured into pouch. I found myself frustrated with how difficult it was to focus without freaking out and decided I should take a break and sit in the car to collect myself. This 'getting hit by a freight train experience while away from my campsite' was not part of my master plan. I reminded myself there was no reason why I couldn't just sit in the car as long as I needed to. No rush. Don't panic. Meditate. Relax...
I ended up sitting still in the car, working towards turning this surprise experience back into a positive state of being when I was visited by an entity. It was difficult to engage it well because I was cold, and was still holding onto notions of working through fear (a clinging proposition), but it was present, and I could change focus, turn on the dome light, turn it off, and the entity was still present in my 'field of vision' before me. It seemed to come at me quickly through what seemed like a worm hole of Aztec-like art and symbols, all spinning and moving like machine pieces. Eventually, it left the same way it came. But this entity was sort of cartoon-like (which didn't match the Aztec imagery at all), but also very elf like. At the time, I didn't think much of the elf-like appearance, but afterwards realized this must be akin to the machine elf phenomena everyone talks about. It's the elf part of it... Weird.
This elf seemed to want to teach me something. During the encounter I also happened to have a lot of inner dialogue about the self reflective experience of freaking out over what was otherwise no big deal, and I assumed the elf was some kind of 'internal me', but as the encounter came to a close, it clearly was NOT me. In hindsight, it was definitely not me. It was something else entirely. I don't know if it was what hit me out of nowhere, or if I awoke the intense experience by eating and triggering digestion, but this was a very unexpected experience. Aya/DMT is a slippery beast among slippery beasts...
After the elf came and left I had this enchanted feeling about me, and everything returned to a blissful state. I was still seeing transient Aztec imagery as OEV's but felt comfortable enough to make the trek back to my campsite so I could warm up in my tent. I hadn't even finished processing this entire situation, but my mind had returned to a peaceful state. I wanted to be in my tent. So I went there. On the walk back to the campsite I began to really 'connect' with my environment on an entirely different level. At this point I felt like I could understand this inhospital desert environment on a very intimate level, and it seemed to welcome me in a way that I hadn't felt before. It was eery, but welcoming and friendly. It welcomed me to rest for the remainder of the night, and I did. The SPO OEV's lasted until ~13 hours after drinking. I don't remember when the Aztec symbolism left the visual experience, but it was around the time I was bedding down. I would have liked to meditate after warming up to explore that more, but the timing just didn't align properly. The peak breakthrough lasted a little over an hour (from ~3.5 hours to ~4.5 hours after drinking, maybe slightly longer).
It's taken me another two days to try and figure out what the heck happened out there... I think I went out there hoping to spook myself in a grand way, have myself a good freakout session, and I definitely hit the head of that nail squarely. I got the freakout session I was looking for, and it taught me incredible things about myself, left me in a blissful state afterwards, and I thoroughly feel like my skillset is sharper because of it. I just don't understand why this thing is so damn unpredictable. Why is breaking through so unpredictable?? Why did the entity come at me like it was TRYING to spook me? I really felt like it was part of its intention to shake me to the bone and test me. That's the honest impression I got. It's almost like it wanted to teach me a number of things, but most importantly, 'don't take lightly that which you don't understand.' Did I only breakthrough because there came an entity? Or did the entity come after the surprise breakthrough?
A few more thoughts:
The elf was firm, decisive, clear, and friendly. I felt like I have seen him before, but I can't say from where or when. Was it a previous experience and I hadn't fully processed it? Or was it from something else?
I had burned white sage, frankincense, and myrrh at my campsite. Did the entity come to me while I was away from my campsite for this reason? Was it not able to visit the campsite? Or was the timing more of a physiological thing related to digestion?
At around the 9 hour mark after drinking, while I was sitting silently in my warm tent, a bighorn sheep came hopping down the rocks towards me, slowly, clacking its hooves on the rocks as it came. It walked up to my tent and seemed to be smelling the the cacti that I poured the remaining Aya on. It seemed very interested in this. I had a slit in the tent I could peer through and see its body only 8 feet from where I was sitting. It never seemed to sense me. It explored with curiosity for a few minutes and then left silently. I do not know which direction it left in. I found hoof prints where it came off the rocks, but I didn't hear it jump back on the rocks, nor could I find tracks leaving my campsite.
In a previous Aya experience in the mountains I was approached by a baby deer. On that particular occasion it pranced around me in a fearless way for a solid 5-8 minutes. Both times I was basking in the afterglow, and both times the animal seemed indifferent to my presence. Both times the animal seemed to be very curious and completely without a fear or care in the world. It's almost as if you become invisible to animals as a source of danger while under the spell of an Aya experience. It's very peculiar.
I found myself camping under the full moon in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by cacti and mountains made entirely of boulders. No flashlights were necessary at all, (with or without a substance that potentiates the visual experience). I had enough of an Aya analogue for two breakthrough experiences, (or one super-critical experience). I drank 2/3 of it after the moon had risen to full glory and a fire had been burning long enough to generate a bed of warm embers. This should have been a good, walloping dose. I had fasted for 16 hours, and found myself experiencing powerful static pattern overlay (SPO), which I felt gave me tremendous insight into how all the thorned desert plants came into existence the way they have. They 'try' to be scary. That's their strategy in life... Conservative with resources, barbed thorns to make those they interact with never forget, and they stand tall to intimidate and persuade animals to leave them alone. Cacti try to be scary.
The fire was alive and ethereal, and a source of deep trance experience, (but no breakthrough yet). I watched keenly as the spirit of the tree was escaping the wood during combustion. The heat it gave me was deeply appreciated. Walking about and exploring under the full moon in this state was incredible to say the least. But after over 3 hours of this passive, seemingly low dose experience, I wanted to either drink the rest and breakthrough, or give up, eat my late dinner, and get into my warm tent. But I had hiked a bit during the day and therefore was very hungry. I was even tired of trying to decide whether to drink again or eat, so I took that last 1/3 of the packed Aya and dumped it onto a cactus next to my tent so I couldn't flounder the decision any longer. It was about 3 hours and 15 minutes in when I ate a few bites of a meal, decided all I wanted to do was to clean up the campsite and get into bed. I was officially giving up. I could try and meditate in my tent if I felt inclined. That was part of the plan, but I had to move the food away and make the fire situation safe first.
I grabbed my cooler and camel pack and began the half mile walk back to my car where I would lock up the food and refill the water pouch. On the leisurely walk through the cacti I was eating an apple. I got to the car, put down the cooler, and took a few more steps beyond to throw the apple core in the opposite direction of my path when 'it' hit me. I broke through to hyperspace OUT OF NOWHERE. No warning, no build up. It was pushing on 3.5 hours after drinking, and it just HIT like a freight train out of the dark. I was transported to a world of Aztec-ian spiral art machines, completely inundated with OEV's. I was overwhelmed. I wasn't where I had planned to be (in my tent or next to the fire), and I still had some simple tasks to complete that were important to complete. The thought of dealing with coyotes or dehydration were legitimate and real, (but not immediately threatening). My logic was to just do what I needed to do, get back to my tent, and chill. But... Where had my keys gone to? Did I lose my keys??? I was 30 miles from the nearest town, and in a place where no locksmith would/could ever go...
Rational thinking overcame fear again, and I reminded myself that my keys hadn't been taken out of my bag since arriving. Finding them in the bag took several frantic minutes of problem solving, but I accomplished the task. Keys in hand. Vehicle opened. Food put inside. Water sloppily poured into pouch. I found myself frustrated with how difficult it was to focus without freaking out and decided I should take a break and sit in the car to collect myself. This 'getting hit by a freight train experience while away from my campsite' was not part of my master plan. I reminded myself there was no reason why I couldn't just sit in the car as long as I needed to. No rush. Don't panic. Meditate. Relax...
I ended up sitting still in the car, working towards turning this surprise experience back into a positive state of being when I was visited by an entity. It was difficult to engage it well because I was cold, and was still holding onto notions of working through fear (a clinging proposition), but it was present, and I could change focus, turn on the dome light, turn it off, and the entity was still present in my 'field of vision' before me. It seemed to come at me quickly through what seemed like a worm hole of Aztec-like art and symbols, all spinning and moving like machine pieces. Eventually, it left the same way it came. But this entity was sort of cartoon-like (which didn't match the Aztec imagery at all), but also very elf like. At the time, I didn't think much of the elf-like appearance, but afterwards realized this must be akin to the machine elf phenomena everyone talks about. It's the elf part of it... Weird.
This elf seemed to want to teach me something. During the encounter I also happened to have a lot of inner dialogue about the self reflective experience of freaking out over what was otherwise no big deal, and I assumed the elf was some kind of 'internal me', but as the encounter came to a close, it clearly was NOT me. In hindsight, it was definitely not me. It was something else entirely. I don't know if it was what hit me out of nowhere, or if I awoke the intense experience by eating and triggering digestion, but this was a very unexpected experience. Aya/DMT is a slippery beast among slippery beasts...
After the elf came and left I had this enchanted feeling about me, and everything returned to a blissful state. I was still seeing transient Aztec imagery as OEV's but felt comfortable enough to make the trek back to my campsite so I could warm up in my tent. I hadn't even finished processing this entire situation, but my mind had returned to a peaceful state. I wanted to be in my tent. So I went there. On the walk back to the campsite I began to really 'connect' with my environment on an entirely different level. At this point I felt like I could understand this inhospital desert environment on a very intimate level, and it seemed to welcome me in a way that I hadn't felt before. It was eery, but welcoming and friendly. It welcomed me to rest for the remainder of the night, and I did. The SPO OEV's lasted until ~13 hours after drinking. I don't remember when the Aztec symbolism left the visual experience, but it was around the time I was bedding down. I would have liked to meditate after warming up to explore that more, but the timing just didn't align properly. The peak breakthrough lasted a little over an hour (from ~3.5 hours to ~4.5 hours after drinking, maybe slightly longer).
It's taken me another two days to try and figure out what the heck happened out there... I think I went out there hoping to spook myself in a grand way, have myself a good freakout session, and I definitely hit the head of that nail squarely. I got the freakout session I was looking for, and it taught me incredible things about myself, left me in a blissful state afterwards, and I thoroughly feel like my skillset is sharper because of it. I just don't understand why this thing is so damn unpredictable. Why is breaking through so unpredictable?? Why did the entity come at me like it was TRYING to spook me? I really felt like it was part of its intention to shake me to the bone and test me. That's the honest impression I got. It's almost like it wanted to teach me a number of things, but most importantly, 'don't take lightly that which you don't understand.' Did I only breakthrough because there came an entity? Or did the entity come after the surprise breakthrough?
A few more thoughts:
The elf was firm, decisive, clear, and friendly. I felt like I have seen him before, but I can't say from where or when. Was it a previous experience and I hadn't fully processed it? Or was it from something else?
I had burned white sage, frankincense, and myrrh at my campsite. Did the entity come to me while I was away from my campsite for this reason? Was it not able to visit the campsite? Or was the timing more of a physiological thing related to digestion?
At around the 9 hour mark after drinking, while I was sitting silently in my warm tent, a bighorn sheep came hopping down the rocks towards me, slowly, clacking its hooves on the rocks as it came. It walked up to my tent and seemed to be smelling the the cacti that I poured the remaining Aya on. It seemed very interested in this. I had a slit in the tent I could peer through and see its body only 8 feet from where I was sitting. It never seemed to sense me. It explored with curiosity for a few minutes and then left silently. I do not know which direction it left in. I found hoof prints where it came off the rocks, but I didn't hear it jump back on the rocks, nor could I find tracks leaving my campsite.
In a previous Aya experience in the mountains I was approached by a baby deer. On that particular occasion it pranced around me in a fearless way for a solid 5-8 minutes. Both times I was basking in the afterglow, and both times the animal seemed indifferent to my presence. Both times the animal seemed to be very curious and completely without a fear or care in the world. It's almost as if you become invisible to animals as a source of danger while under the spell of an Aya experience. It's very peculiar.
Thanks!
