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Getting More Lonely as a Psychonaut

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Rising Star
I've always considered myself to be on the mild end of the spectrum of psychonautics-- I don't trip very often, and I usually pass as a fairly 'upstanding citizen' to those to don't know me intimately. Just the same, I love expanding my knowledge of entheogens, exractions, and experiences that shift my perspective. I also really value the time I set aside to trip, particularly with DMT.

As the years roll on, nearly all of my friends have apparently lost interest in hallucinogens. They have adopted an attitude of 'been there, done that.' The risk of social sanction now outweighs the joys of altered states for them, and they now fear their bodies have become too fragile to handle tripping.

It usually doesn't bother me. I gained most my experience with lsd tripping alone, and I am far from being a social butterfly. Just the same, I really miss the joys of connecting with my closest friends in another world, and I miss sharing revelatory experiences with them in an intimate (corporal) space.

Having the community here helps, and I think I will be turning to it more. I just wish my long time friends didn't give up on what is so important to me-- and what used to be important to them, too.
I can imagine it is hard to see that the people you have shared so much with and with whom you have become so close, are turning their backs on certain aspects. But we all change. And everything has an expiration date. Even friendship.

But look at it on the bright side. The same thing happens to me. Friends are those that occur in your life and at that moment you can have a good time with them. But when the common interest vanishes, that’s ok. New friends will turn up and perhaps they give you much more.

Not many people have friends for life if at all. Certainly not me and I do not regret this for a second.
I feel you Nitegazer. All of my friends are boring too, now.

I shared a beautiful trip with a friend a few years ago, which fully converted him to sobriety. He was the very last one.

Fortunately my wife trips every now and then or I would be truly alone.
I relate to this a lot and I would generally assume that most of the members here have experienced this to their own degrees. Dont let other peoples attitudes/choices/behaviors get you down though. One thing it has taken me years to learn is that personally speaking I tend to imagine that other people invest in me the same ways I invest in them and that if I have shared psychedelic experiences with people that I cherish and thus want to continue to do so in the future they will feel the same way about it. This is simply not a rule of life though.

Dont expect people to value what has tremendous meaning to you, just retain your solace by cherishing what you value and try not to let it drag you down when other people feel differently.
I don't have any friends that care about entheogens anymore either.
It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car. :cry:
I don't have any friends that care about entheogens anymore either.
It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car. :cry:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thank you ETERNAL for putting it all in perspective!:thumb_up:
I think it's pretty common, especially if you're taking them consistently over years and years. Peoples motives and intentions will vary, and I think it often happens to where people just sort've 'fall off' from taking them. Their own life takes over and they can't find the time, maybe they had an experience that 'put them off', maybe it's nerve racking for some and they see little reason to continue? It's really hard to say, especially once you get into the personal reasoning for taking these things [who knowzz]. Life gets ahold of people in various ways, and the time they once had set aside now is often hard to find.

The few people that I know - they either have kids now, are married, or have kids and are married. To each their own though, respect. (Just want to say that I love kids, and I'm in a situation now to where I've been a huge part of a couple littonez lives, grateful for it)

The few people that I've known over the last few years have pretty much went into other directions, we still talk a bit and have some commonality and laughs, though when it comes to these things and the experiences they bring about - we don't talk about it really. I do have my significant other that I have these experience with from time to time, though for the most part I'm in this solo. Then again for a majority - I've been solo with these things for years.

Honestly ..it takes certain people to continually take these things for many years, within certain contexts, work them into their lives, continue onward, and not fall off the rails. This stuff's not easy by any stretch. It takes an earnest drive to push into these realms, hold fast, keep their wits about them, apply what can be applied, then continue on, and live in light of IT.BTW my intention's not to sound elitist whatsoever, hope ppl didn't take it that way. <3

And another apt quote by good ol' Plotinus:

Plotinus said:
The mystical experience is the flight of the Alone to the Alone

Not to say that you couldn't or aren't going to cross paths with others in the near future. New situations, new people, some scenarios and meeting of new (and potentially lifelong) friends can happen overnight even, maybe not common but it can surely happen. And when I say 'cross paths and meet new people' I mean people that have an interest similar to yours, they're out there. :d
Have you ever express this feeling you have with your friends Nitegazer?

You may pull one of them back in if you did! Just a thought.

Another thought is to go and do what they are into. If they like drinking, go out and have a few drinks with them. When in rome, do as the romans do. This could help the feeling of being isolated I am sure. They may just come around.

I have pulled several of my friends into tripping with me over the years. They are not as into psychedelics as I am, and I don't expect them to be. Each time they come back for a mushroom trip or LSD trip with me, they thank me for it. They do it in their time and I do not pressure them. They come and trip with me because I drink with them. Friendship is a mutual in every way. Don't take anything personally along the way and a friendship can last a lifetime. Love them unconditionally and they will do the same. Put forth the effort you would like to see from them. Show interest in their ways and they may very well return the favor. Especially if you tell them how you feel!

Enjoy going it alone in the meantime! Some of my best psychedelic journeys have been alone!
I think all my friends take psychedelics. Can't think of one that doesn't, and if they didn't, it would be hard to be friends with them (I'm talking about real friends, not FB friends you haven't spoken to in years).

Before I started working with the plants I had all kinds of friends, but since that chapter opened I've lost interest in those that don't share my passion and the friendships died.

I relate to the Actualized video which says you can only grow alone as everybody has to walk their own walk, but at the same time I think it's good to surround oneself with like-minded souls. They may not walk side by side with you all the time, but you cross paths with them, exchange experiences and support each other. Their individual experiences and struggles may be different, but there is a special connection and understanding, which I've never had with people who don't do this work.
im going to lay out what happened to me for the last 3 years and hope it doesn't come off as "i've got it better than you" rant
so 3 years ago i was just beginning to find these substances and talking about them extensively online in the forums and other platforms that my country runs on, so after a while i started probably meeting somebody that was like minded and serious about work, so i started to get closer with them and eventually introduced these people to each other, right now we are at a total of 7 people (we were moar, but some choose other paths), and we are actually moving in together this summer, and the key point in this is, you have to really care and put sincere attention and time into their lives and your relationship with them, you need to LOVE them, for it all to work
see sharing your funds and the money you make with other people because you love each other is a big thing, basically thats a big part of marriage and has been since a very long time ago, so now having friends really comes down to taking the few years to find the right people, going out of your way to know them and help them in any way you can, supporting them in what they do and most importantly, loving them enough to tell them when they are losing their path, and not trying to control them when they wish to leave you
so like anything else, with a slight bit of luck, you will reap the results of your hard work and it certainly is sweet
we don't have to be lonely, your circle of close friends don't have to only include hard-nut psychonauts, people have the capacity to hear about your journey, understand it, and still decide not to take the substance
if you wish to connect with people, you have no other choice than to have a reputation in a community, so a situation opens up where people know you without you having to explain yourself, you know, it takes work, can't stress that enough
serving others is a great way of life, for example the hours you put into informing someone about a medicine they can take for a certain problem they have, or dissolving their veils about cannabis and cancer treatment etc, these sorts of things are earning you trust and you may not notice until a few years into what you're doing, you do really have to go out of your way alot if you wish for the good company
its not as dull as it seems, i realized most of the time i directed towards my private activities were a waste of time anyway, even if it was reading a book or doing an experiment, i eventually found my peace not in those, but in this (love - friendship)
so , a TL:DR version would be
search/find - cultivate love - cultivate security and trust - cultivate benefit - learn to sacrifice and you shall be satisfied
Great post, Espurrr. There are like-minded people everywhere, but it takes serious work and commitment to build a community. And giving to the community can be much more satisfying than giving to oneself.

I might also add that having special skills or resources (leadership, organizational, musical, entheogenic know-how, a place to host group gatherings etc.) can also be helpful and you can work to get them.
I have very much the same problem. My last psychedelics-sympathetic friend left after my first year of college and that was many years ago.
I never smoke, I never drink, I never do marijuana or other recreational drugs and around here virtually no one close to my age does psychedelics without also being heavily into those.
To make matters worse I don't even remotely fit in to the local culture. People these days just seem to want to get drunk, order pizza, and watch TV day after day. They don't do anything I can relate to. No gardening, no herbal medicine, no home cooking, no real intellectual pursuits, all their clothes are unaltered from a factory, they don't exercise, they've never truly fasted a day in their life unless for a cancer screening. The parks are all empty except for the occasional foreigner that doesn't speak my language. In my last 600 5K runs I've passed two, yes TWO other runners! I never saw either of them again.
The only thing my best friend and I actually have in common is a penchant for hardcore pornography :oops:
Its very much like I'm a foreigner with no home country.
And to add injury to insult, I cant buy LSD because I dont know anyone at all who has used it in the last decade.
Loneliness isn't just an adult psychedelics thing, its something for everyone who deviates from the social norm. Worse than that, its becoming the social norm. I recently read a news article that loneliness is on the verge of being classified as the UK's biggest health crisis. Other nations are close on their heels.
I'd like to blame western culture for the pandemic of loneliness due to their tactic of raising us to be mindless and sickly consumer-drones but I fear its a pathology that goes far deeper than that, something now foundational to our cultures that therefore can't be fixed without drastic upheaval or generations of effort.

Some days I just want to say fuck it all, dress in nothing but tie dye and feathers, go to work in a sex toy shop to meet interesting people, and simply be thought of as that crazy guy that only hangs out with 18 year old punk chicks and hippies :lol:
I think with age some people, myself included, slow down many areas in life. I definitely don't feel "been there done that" though. For me I realized I had a serious back log of integration to do and sadly my people have a lot going on in their lives or found a new relationship that doesn't approve, or moved away. I really miss the days of get togethers every month or two. Now we are lucky to all be together 1 time maybe 2 times a year. :( I really miss my friends. I really miss exploring together around the fire. However I could see it coming 2 summers ago. I said to Icehouse last summer at the Eclipse festival that sadly I foresee our times all of us together becoming less and less. Not by anyone's choice. Well, one sadly chose to move on and "grow up". That was very hard for me to accept. Still is.
To anyone in the peak of their psych work with loved ones I would say this. Cherrish it man and really REALLY don't take what you're doing together for granted. AS with all things in life relationships activities and desires will change and even become pretty rare. Enjoy your times together. I am truly happy but also envious of those in the deep waters of doing this thing we do. I'd give anything to go back in time 5 or 6 years, sitting around a big ass fire on the homestead holding Icey's big ole bear paw in my hand as we blast into hyperspace together. I really miss my family. Maybe thats what drove me to log on tonight.
Elrik said:
People these days just seem to want to get drunk, order pizza, and watch TV day after day.

I recently read a news article that loneliness is on the verge of being classified as the UK's biggest health crisis.
But how come they're lonely? They share the common interests of getting drunk, eating pizza and watching TV... it should be relatively easy for them to establish a community and meet regularly to get drunk, eat pizza and watch TV together ;)
What a beautiful variety of observations and insights. Thank you everyone for what you brought to the conversation. Lots of strong medicine here.

Your messages have given me a direction: Though I have changed a lot in the 25 or so years since I started taking hallucinogens, I haven't intentionally shaped a new way of presenting myself to the world that will bring the friendships I desire.

When I was 20, my outward appearance, behavior, and commitment of time clearly conveyed that I was out to question everything and mod my consciousness. That outward expression attracted others of like mind and intent to me.

Now, I look more like a business dude than a hippy, and my commitment of time (family, career, etc.) does not reflect the kind of friendships I seek. I'm not about to dress up like I'm 20 again, because that's no longer me. But there must be a way of presenting myself that brings together the various threads of my being into a more coherent whole. Once I stop giving mixed messages about what I care about, I believe the things I love may find their way to me (be they old friends or new ones).

I'll dream on this.
Nitegazer said:
...Now, I look more like a business dude than a hippy, and my commitment of time (family, career, etc.) does not reflect the kind of friendships I seek. I'm not about to dress up like I'm 20 again, because that's no longer me. But there must be a way of presenting myself that brings together the various threads of my being into a more coherent whole...

(Man, that store almost makes me regret not wearing ties, lol)
You might have to restrict it to fridays at work and shopping/bank/etc outings on your own time.
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