Getting past the loop

[freemynd]

First off, this is my first post so - hello!

SWIM has been exploring hyperspace on and off again for the last 6 years or so. The only time he has been able to experience a full breakthrough is when he uses The Machine (or some type of glassware). When he sandwiches the spice between MJ or other herb he can get pretty far, but never have a full breakthrough. This isn't necessarily a bad thing and often times he enjoys going deep, but not taking the full plunge.

...HOWEVER, what he does not enjoy is this weird "Purgatory" area he has been stuck in the last few times he's explored. It's like this weird place you get stuck if you don't smoke enough to break through, but more than enough to know what's going on. Here's the only way SWIM can describe it:

SWIM will take a hit, hold it for what feels like an eternity and then (without really having the intent to travel very far) get HIT with a huge state of confusion. It doesn't matter if it's day or night, open or closed eyes, it's just looping confusion. No real visuals, in fact, it almost feels like you're not even tripping - but rather lost the ability to process thought. SWIM just remembers thinking to himself "Oh crap, I'm forgetting to <fill in the blank>" (who knows). He would then open his eyes and awaken from what felt like a dream. After looking around the room for a second he thinks "Oh yeah, I need to <fill in the blank>". It's at that point that he realizes that he's had that same thought (about 20 seconds ago) and he closes he eyes and the cycle repeats. This goes on for what feels like forever. Usually the only thing that will interrupt it is the realization that SWIM is not breathing correctly. He will be taking very short quick breaths and almost has to "concentrate" to breathe correctly. At the end of the trip nothing has come of it. Nothing other than mass confusion and fear of returning to that place in the future.

SWIM has probably been thrown there 4-5 times now and each time it sucks 10x worse than the last time. Has anyone else been to this place? I searched through the forum and found a couple other references to this "place", but no formal discussion. I'm curious to know how many other people have been to this awful place.

 

[ragabr]

Welcome to the Nexus, freemynd. Can't help you with your question unfortunately, but it's good to have you here.

 

[Felnik]

hard to say exactly whats happening to you. Underdoseing doesn't usually envolve anything intense only a weird spaced out queasy feeling generally. Its more of a drag really.

is the solvent fully evaporated off your spice?

Have you tried using mullein with spice? it takes a while to work up a good method. keep working at it. start small work your way up.

 

[RigaCrypto]

Hello Freemynd

I don't know if I understand what you are going through, but the way you described it, it resembles some things I've gone through. You can take a look at my experiences and see whether they ring a bell:

Psychedelics - tool or spirit? - Philosophy - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus

 

[freemynd]

is the solvent fully evaporated off your spice?

Have you tried using mullein with spice? it takes a while to work up a good method. keep working at it. start small work your way up.

Yeah, all of the solvent is gone for sure. It's even been washed with sodium bicarbonate. SWIM hasn't tried mullein but will give it a try. He just ordered a bunch of plants (Blue Lotus, Passionflower, Caapi, etc.) and is hoping to make some enhanced leaf.

it resembles some things I've gone through. You can take a look at my experiences and see whether they ring a bell

What you're describing sounds exactly what SWIM went through. It doesn't always happen to him and often times he can get pretty far mixing it with another herb. He'd really like to experience a breakthrough using this method because he finds the spice to be a little harsh by itself. Thanks for sharing.

 

[ManifesT]

This has happened to me 2-3 times and I notice it always occurs if I'm in the wrong mindset before taking the journey. These are probably the worst trips I've had, and the last time it happened the only thing I remember was the repeating thought of "This is not something to be played with", I'm not sure who/what influences that thought pattern but I always make sure my mind is calm and there's nothing to disturb me from now on. I guess the good that's come from these types of trips has been my growth in respect for the spice, I'll never underestimate it again.

 

[StrangeLoop]

To me this means you shouldn't be journeying at that time. Something isn't right. Either in your general life situation or just that day/moment in particular you are smoking. I've had this happen on various entheogens, maybe once or twice on spice. I remember one of the thoughts I had was "i'm never doing this again i'm never doing this again why do i keep doing this i shouldnt ever do this again." This thought crept up early in the trip, right when the alienness started setting in, and because of my setting and just general mood and attitude I started having negative thoughts and they crowded out everything else.

Although I'm not sure if that's quite what you're experiencing, I've never had much confusion from DMT. Sounds more like a mushroom trip where I know I need to do something but am in no state to do it at the moment but can't stop thinking about it, which gets really frustrating.

 

[1664]

I think I have had similar experiences. I have been stuck in a thought loop a couple of times. It has always been completely absurd - things that make no sense whatsoever repeating in my mind like a stuck CD. I once had the clown type entities that I see either side of hyperspace folding in on themselves before reforming and then folding again. All the while I was thinking "this is gobbledegook" and that thought was stuck in my head, also on a loop. I was not conscious of it happening at the time, but it just felt like I had profoundly confused my brain.

I put this down to underdosing. I never used to understand acolon_5 when he says sub-breakthroughs are disphoric, but the more experience I gain, the more this rings true to me. Every sub breakthrough, whilst interesting, leaves me coming back to sobriety with a "hmmmm" :? After a breakthrough, it leaves me with "oh my God that was beautiful" and normally some tears / laughter of disbelief & gratitude. My opinion as I see it at the moment, is that if I am not prepared to do a breakthrough dose, then I shouldn't be smoking at all.

8)

 

[JIM]

Yup iv had lots of loops since i started in May
I Used to feel as though i stuck in this constant programe and i could not get out and then the same programe starts again and again. I used to fight it to try and get out as i didnt like their control they had over me
Nothing i did changed the programe

I now lay down and give them my total conscious
Here have my brain its all yours , with a smile on my face

They seem to like this

But maybe the "Programe and Loops" are real and we are all just one big Experiment, who knows
Before I had the spice a was a true Atheist , Now days im thinking about creation and Sacred Geometry, it all seems to fit as "One"

Also maybe try a different environment

All the best for your future travels

Jim

 

[TrustLoveMan]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that this has happened to but I'm sad that you're stuck in a rut. I remember I was in a loop that was the beginning of a techno song with a high pitch voice saying "lonely, I'm so lonely, I have nobody, For my own". Over and Over again, But I was definitely having mad visuals. I only travel to hyperspace now if I really want to. Never go in the wrong mindset. I cancelled my trip today because I had some bad shit happen. Maybe try to change some things up with the setting/smoking. That usually gives my trip a different feel.

 

[phillyd]

Hello,

I completly understand what your going through (i think) i get this weird mid world stage where i feel as if i have been there a million times with millions of thoughts flooding however they seem to be swirling round and returning. i do have mild visuals but more a confused state of being trapped in some eternal replay of my world through previous/future experiences. I am unsure what this is about but can definatly be unsettling. When was the last time you experienced this?

 

[trademonkey]

Reviving a 9 year old thread here...

Been there recently.

Put 30mg into a donut coil and vaped it. I only took one toke so doubt I consumed it all. Saw nice visuals and heard the usual sounds you get on lower doses. Opened my eyes and saw everything in ultra HD. Nothing more than that. Despite this my video log of that trip had me saying that it had a distinct negative feeling around experience. Should have listened to myself.

10 minutes later I had loaded a further 35mg and prepped the crystals. That was my first big mistake. I've had a head cold for 2 weeks and still struggling to shake it off and I knew I was not fully at my best. Anyway, I took a long deep toke. Only the one. And I knew it was coming. That unmistakable rush. Then it got me.
That intense feeling, the rush, the sounds. CEV were incredible but I don't really remember them now. I could feel the molecule wanting to take me somewhere, but like my first time with higher dose DMT, I resisted. My second BIG mistake. I didn't want to see what it had to show me. So I opened my eyes. Everything was so colourful and "blocky" - again in ultra HD. I again panicked. That was my third BIG mistake.
I enter a series of what felt like never ending time loops. I was lying on my bed. Hated the experience because I was terrified. I sat up, said "never again" then lay back down. I felt like I wasn't breathing so held onto my chest, and felt my body dissolve. I was back lying on my bed. Hated the experience because I was terrified. I sat up, said "never again" then lay back down. I felt like I wasn't breathing so held onto my chest, and felt my body dissolve. I was back lying on my bed. Hated the experience because I was terrified. I sat up, said "never again" then lay back down. I felt like I wasn't breathing so held onto my chest, and felt my body dissolve. And on and on it went. Then I somehow broke that loop only to find the next stage of my actions doing the same - over and over again, then the next action was the same.

Thankfully I videoed all this and found the whole trip lasted around 4 minutes and each "action" was done only the once in the "real world". But my mind processed it very very differently.

As I was coming down I had to force myself to take each step deliberately, experience it repeated 2 or 3 times but I felt I was making progress. Eventually I was down enough to have some control. It felt like another infinite amount of time passed before I was remotely out of the aggressive looping. But when I checked my phone the whole experience to that point had been 10 minutes.

30 minutes after vaping I was "back" enough to leave my hotel room. I went outside. But as I was walking it felt as if every few metres there would be a time "glitch" of a split second. I'd terrified I would fall back into a time loop. It was too much so I went back to the hotel room and showered. I still felt extreme anxiety.

The experience was so horrifying at the time that once I was back I flushed around 50mg of what I had left down the loo.

I was convinced I was going to die of a heart attack from the panic as well. I'm sure that didn't help my experience!

Was it the experience I wanted? Hell no. Was it one I needed? Not sure. Was it one I deserved? I think so.