Sorry for this being a little long. for those that don’t want to read all of it you can skip to the death and conclusion parts at the bottom.
BACKGROUND
===========
I am by no means an expert having only started a few months ago with about 30+ breakthrough experiences usually on 30-40mg spice using the machine. My first trips started off from being energy based, very caring and loving in experience i.e. moved around a room, taken on a journey with a presence of LOVE. There were tears and I felt so privileged to experience that. Then I started having trips where I would see the elves showing off, Shoot pellets/objects at my mouth. (My mate reckons I have an elf jacking off shooting loads at me).
Then there were trips with Elvish/Viking like entities showing off, doing cool things very bright intense colors where it was so profound I was trying to stop watching and on the verge of bursting out laughing. Some trips I would completely lose my shit with cosmic giggles, a sense of DejaVu and waking up on the floor or even under my bed! The latter I think is simply from me just not concentrating and giving into amazement. Tripin Ballz for sure!
So...
THE FUN PART
============
One night I set my intentions and tried very hard to see what these Elf/viking were doing. My trips were becoming too comical and I wanted something more serious. I was fortunate that the trip was nice and slow and It was easy to pay attention. They would morph and change appearance popping into existence.
What I discovered was that the more that I focused attention on them, that I would go further into the trip. the further I got the more types of Viking/Elf I came across. The deeper I got the more I felt connected and it felt easier to process. At one point they were all naked with multiple penis’s and breasts. But again if I focused on something like a breast it took me deeper..haha so much for getting serious
I must have had about 5 back to back hits of 40mg and the experiences were repeatable. I knew it was taking me further so that’s why I kept on dosing and it did! It got to the point where they were giving me positive feedback. Like if I looked in the right spot they would nod and say yes yes yes. Now come this way..nodding.
I ended up getting to a point in the trip where I was in a sphere and the more I focused on the entities, the deeper I got to the point where I had passed the elf/viking beings and was now interacting with different entities. They had a body which was feminine but were made of energy, color and loving nature. They were excited that I was there and here is where is gets really interesting..
Now at this point I still felt like I was the observer and I knew I had a body etc. I quickly learnt that I was in control and came to the realization that I could create what I wanted. I was overwhelmed with this feeling of power and how amazing this experience was. The entities knew I had come to this realization and they were so happy. As I was thinking of endless possibilities from me wanting to call family and friends into the trip to share this amazing experience to creating armies to fix the problems of the world, end wars etc. The entities were so excited and spinning around in anticipation of what I was going to think of next!
I ended up getting caught up in the excitement of the possibilities that I didn't end up acting on it as it required more focus and concentration and it had been a long night. In the end I think I must have had about 15 back to back hits.. Bed Time
The next day I was mentally tired but feeling pretty good. I had a different outlook on the day and found myself observing people in a different way. No doubt I was giving off a good energy too as people (especially females were responding with smiles and attention). I was also truly understanding the term of ‘endless possibilities’ and how powerful consciousness is and that we are all one and perhaps that we ARE GOD.
THE DEATH PART
=============
The next Day before bed I decided to have one 40mg hit only and see if last night’s experience was repeatable as it was a very rewarding experience. I wanted to take it that next step and see what I could create. My mental state was good however I did have concerns that I should be taking a break and that I had been abusing the spice. I also had my child with me this night and put them to sleep an hour before. The thought of her waking up and opening the door mid trip had crossed my mind. I don’t normally do this when I have them. I proceeded...
Blast off! I knew it was going to be a big one. I experienced something I had never experienced before. I was immediately in a dimension made up of a grid. It was a very different feeling than I was used to. I was no longer an observer where I was still connected to my body. I came to the realization that I was in fact DEAD. I tried to wake up!, open my eyes! but I had no connection to my body anymore. I thought to myself what have I done, I've taken it too far and that last hit has killed me. I thought about my child that I have left all alone and the place that I was now was a negative one. There were these entities shaped like a ball and they were the ones that were going to torture me and make me pay for what I had done. I was now preparing myself for an eternity of suffering. I was Dead, never to see my child and family again and I was going to spend the rest of eternity in Hell!
Luckily this subsided and when I started to see what was ahead of me, it was something familiar. It was a sense of it all coming back together, a feeling that I could bring myself out of this and create what I wanted, similar to the experience the night before. This feeling did not progress however and I found myself coming out of that place. I then became the observer connected to my body again and realized I was not dead! Such a relief! There were entities looking back down at me and I was grateful to them for showing me this. They were communicating back to me “we know, its ok, no worries” I was so relieved and I was crying and all I wanted to do was run into my child’s room and hold them.
CONCLUSION
===========
I feel like I have been shown what happens when you die. And if it takes you by surprise and you have left your life unfulfilled like in my case where I am still a young father and not seen my child grow up yet. That when you leave this reality and go to this place in the universe that you better be satisfied with what you have left behind otherwise you will be in this state of panic and fear and attract negative energies. Perhaps this is where you are judged! And it’s up to your own mental state as to what comes next. You must let go and move forward to create the next reality for yourself. Is it possible that when you die you can perhaps create an existence that you choose to live in, create your loved ones almost like creating your own dream that never ends?
MOVING FORWARD & ANSWERS
==========================
I would like to understand what happened in that death experience. Was it a case of the spice wanted to put me in my place and show me a bad trip because of the abuse of this sacred molecule? Was it a case of bad set and setting ( Before I launched I was conscious of perhaps my abuse of the spice and because I had my child with me) Or did I just reach the next level or stage? An experience what is referred to as ego death and I simply just freaked out thinking I had actually died. Had it not taken me by surprise and causing fear and panic, perhaps I could have had a rather amazing experience?
What do you think? As depending on which scenario it was will determine IF and WHEN I choose to go back!
Thanks for reading
BACKGROUND
===========
I am by no means an expert having only started a few months ago with about 30+ breakthrough experiences usually on 30-40mg spice using the machine. My first trips started off from being energy based, very caring and loving in experience i.e. moved around a room, taken on a journey with a presence of LOVE. There were tears and I felt so privileged to experience that. Then I started having trips where I would see the elves showing off, Shoot pellets/objects at my mouth. (My mate reckons I have an elf jacking off shooting loads at me).
Then there were trips with Elvish/Viking like entities showing off, doing cool things very bright intense colors where it was so profound I was trying to stop watching and on the verge of bursting out laughing. Some trips I would completely lose my shit with cosmic giggles, a sense of DejaVu and waking up on the floor or even under my bed! The latter I think is simply from me just not concentrating and giving into amazement. Tripin Ballz for sure!
So...
THE FUN PART
============
One night I set my intentions and tried very hard to see what these Elf/viking were doing. My trips were becoming too comical and I wanted something more serious. I was fortunate that the trip was nice and slow and It was easy to pay attention. They would morph and change appearance popping into existence.
What I discovered was that the more that I focused attention on them, that I would go further into the trip. the further I got the more types of Viking/Elf I came across. The deeper I got the more I felt connected and it felt easier to process. At one point they were all naked with multiple penis’s and breasts. But again if I focused on something like a breast it took me deeper..haha so much for getting serious
I must have had about 5 back to back hits of 40mg and the experiences were repeatable. I knew it was taking me further so that’s why I kept on dosing and it did! It got to the point where they were giving me positive feedback. Like if I looked in the right spot they would nod and say yes yes yes. Now come this way..nodding.
I ended up getting to a point in the trip where I was in a sphere and the more I focused on the entities, the deeper I got to the point where I had passed the elf/viking beings and was now interacting with different entities. They had a body which was feminine but were made of energy, color and loving nature. They were excited that I was there and here is where is gets really interesting..
Now at this point I still felt like I was the observer and I knew I had a body etc. I quickly learnt that I was in control and came to the realization that I could create what I wanted. I was overwhelmed with this feeling of power and how amazing this experience was. The entities knew I had come to this realization and they were so happy. As I was thinking of endless possibilities from me wanting to call family and friends into the trip to share this amazing experience to creating armies to fix the problems of the world, end wars etc. The entities were so excited and spinning around in anticipation of what I was going to think of next!
I ended up getting caught up in the excitement of the possibilities that I didn't end up acting on it as it required more focus and concentration and it had been a long night. In the end I think I must have had about 15 back to back hits.. Bed Time
The next day I was mentally tired but feeling pretty good. I had a different outlook on the day and found myself observing people in a different way. No doubt I was giving off a good energy too as people (especially females were responding with smiles and attention). I was also truly understanding the term of ‘endless possibilities’ and how powerful consciousness is and that we are all one and perhaps that we ARE GOD.
THE DEATH PART
=============
The next Day before bed I decided to have one 40mg hit only and see if last night’s experience was repeatable as it was a very rewarding experience. I wanted to take it that next step and see what I could create. My mental state was good however I did have concerns that I should be taking a break and that I had been abusing the spice. I also had my child with me this night and put them to sleep an hour before. The thought of her waking up and opening the door mid trip had crossed my mind. I don’t normally do this when I have them. I proceeded...
Blast off! I knew it was going to be a big one. I experienced something I had never experienced before. I was immediately in a dimension made up of a grid. It was a very different feeling than I was used to. I was no longer an observer where I was still connected to my body. I came to the realization that I was in fact DEAD. I tried to wake up!, open my eyes! but I had no connection to my body anymore. I thought to myself what have I done, I've taken it too far and that last hit has killed me. I thought about my child that I have left all alone and the place that I was now was a negative one. There were these entities shaped like a ball and they were the ones that were going to torture me and make me pay for what I had done. I was now preparing myself for an eternity of suffering. I was Dead, never to see my child and family again and I was going to spend the rest of eternity in Hell!
Luckily this subsided and when I started to see what was ahead of me, it was something familiar. It was a sense of it all coming back together, a feeling that I could bring myself out of this and create what I wanted, similar to the experience the night before. This feeling did not progress however and I found myself coming out of that place. I then became the observer connected to my body again and realized I was not dead! Such a relief! There were entities looking back down at me and I was grateful to them for showing me this. They were communicating back to me “we know, its ok, no worries” I was so relieved and I was crying and all I wanted to do was run into my child’s room and hold them.
CONCLUSION
===========
I feel like I have been shown what happens when you die. And if it takes you by surprise and you have left your life unfulfilled like in my case where I am still a young father and not seen my child grow up yet. That when you leave this reality and go to this place in the universe that you better be satisfied with what you have left behind otherwise you will be in this state of panic and fear and attract negative energies. Perhaps this is where you are judged! And it’s up to your own mental state as to what comes next. You must let go and move forward to create the next reality for yourself. Is it possible that when you die you can perhaps create an existence that you choose to live in, create your loved ones almost like creating your own dream that never ends?
MOVING FORWARD & ANSWERS
==========================
I would like to understand what happened in that death experience. Was it a case of the spice wanted to put me in my place and show me a bad trip because of the abuse of this sacred molecule? Was it a case of bad set and setting ( Before I launched I was conscious of perhaps my abuse of the spice and because I had my child with me) Or did I just reach the next level or stage? An experience what is referred to as ego death and I simply just freaked out thinking I had actually died. Had it not taken me by surprise and causing fear and panic, perhaps I could have had a rather amazing experience?
What do you think? As depending on which scenario it was will determine IF and WHEN I choose to go back!
Thanks for reading
