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Happy to be entering the nexus.

Migrated topic.


still working out the why
Hello everybody,

I, like most people thinking of exploring the possibilities of DMT and other psychedelics, first went looking for information. As much as I could read. And this forum stands above any other source I have come across, from those sharing their genuine experiences, to the finer points of extraction and materials, I have not seen a better community to date.

Throughout my life I've always enjoyed things that alter consciousness. I've always been very sure of myself and made decisions easily. I used to be that carefree guy who just rolled with the punches and tried to smile at every situation. Over the last few years, I've really felt a little lost. I have opportunities ahead of me (in terms of career / income potential) that many would thank the gods for. However, the closer I get to financial security, the more I detest the every day grind. The fake world that corporate life seems to maintain. It's really empty. Everybody I work with seems to be looking after their ownn interests only. I'm one of those long term employees that saw the business go from a very small family business where the CEO phones you on your birthday to this giant corporate octopus, squeezing with it's monstrous tentacles every last penny out of anyone who walks through the door.

I've experienced a fairly good cross section of emotions to my situation. From anxious annticipation to the future, to down right nihilism and considering what's the point, and my indecision about my future is really becoming a drag.

I think I know what I need to do, but when I read some experiences on ayahuasca, those who had met mother ayahuasca, who set them straight. It really has peaked my interest. I also read they used to treat Heroin and Cocaine addiction with ayahuasca with amazing success, which blows my mind. Now I'm not expecting any of this to happen of course, I have 0 expectations, just a calm, considered interest.

The slow sick climb from a construction worker into corporate life has taught me through culture to not share my feelings and to "get on with it". Even here writing this is quite unconfortable, but as they say "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got".

So it's with the above in mind that I eagerly await the opening of a new door. I'm looking for something, and I don't know what it is. I don't know what to expect but I humbly request to join this fantastic community. I will do a whole lot of listening / reading and hopefully after some time I can contribute also.

I know not what the future holds but for the first time in quite a long time, I'm looking ahead with a smile..

Thanks for taking the time to read my introduction and I hope to converse with you soon.
Great introduction!

I completely understand where you are coming from in regards to the corporate world. I used to hold onto the same thought process. It is far to easy to get wrapped up into the game. I stopped playing the game. I started going to work with a different attitude. After all, it is all about the attitude you hold in this life which brings meaning. So many I work with are negative and will backstab and trash talk. Anything to get ahead and make themselves look good. That ends with me. I do not participate in these negativities, I do my best to curtail them, I look at every interaction I have at work as an opportunity to change the negative dynamics at play.

Example...So and so will begin to trash talk someone.. I ignore the comments and point out something wonderful about the person they are trash talking. It is like holding a mirror up to them. They suddenly have to look at what they are saying and the way they are behaving. The next time I have an interaction with the person doing the prior trash talking, it ends, the behavior stops. I find that they have much more positive conversations with me after that. They know that I will not participate in their negativity. In a way, it is kind of waking them up.

We all have a choice in how we shine out light into the world. I think when someone is genuine in how they shine, it can be infectious, even in a corporate setting. I feel the only way to change the world is to change yourself. It can ripple out. How far it ripples is not of any consequence. It is all about creating the ripples. Positivity is what the world needs. Love and compassion is a choice in every interaction we have with anyone in this world. That is what I choose. It can be hard to sustain at first, but with some practice, it becomes easier and easier.

You stated that you are looking for something but don't know what it is. I would like to offer a story. It is called the "streetlight effect".

A monk is searching the ground under a street lamp. He is looking all around and captures the attention of someone walking by. The person asks "What are you looking for? The monk responds, "I am looking for the key to my home." The person asks "Where do you think you lost the key?" The monk states "I lost them in my home." The person replies "Then why are you looking for them out here?" The monks says "The light is better here!"

I think we often look for the keys to many things where the light is the best. Looking in the dark for something is hard. We can develop a capacity to search in the dark where the key was lost to begin with. You have to know what you are looking for enable to find it. I don't think the things we look for are not under a streetlamp. They are within, where it can be dark.

I am very happy to hear that you are looking to the future with a smile now! Thanks for introducing yourself and welcome to the Nexus!

That's a great response and I will aim to look in the dark places until I know what it is I seek.

When you say you "stopped playing the game" I assume that was an attitude shift rather than leaving that industry or position all together?

I completely hear you, attitude is everything. I've worked far worse jobs in my life and been in a much happier place than now. My aim for 2018 is to find that balance, get my mojo back, take control of my emotions, no matter what is happening around me. And among other centering activities I do believe an exploration inward may help me with this.

Thank you for taking the time DmnStr8.
“If a man knows not to which port he sails, no wind is favorable.” ― Seneca

I find the "no expectations" idea odd. Maybe it's just how its phrased. Speaking as someone that hasn't tried DMT yet, I think the best approach for all things in life is to have expectations, just be open to change. You wouldn't ask a question if you already knew, at an explicit level, the answer. So the act of asking implies a level of expectation of the unexpected because if it wasn't unexpected, you wouldn't need to ask. Right? In other words, don't expect DMT to do all the work for you. Oh, and hi! I'll shut up now.
I see where you are coming from brazilman. And I really enjoyed the quote.

I guess what I meant to say was, most experiences I have read make the experience seem like something that cannot be described with our language. That sort of unknown, to me at least, seems like one you shouldn't make assumptions about. So rather than expecting what it will be like, I am quietly excited and hope I might be able to find out something new about myself or maybe even the universe.

I am fully prepared for that, but also fully prepared for it to be not that (because the age of misinformation has ensured my processes are predicated on sceptical questioning). 0 expectations in this context is probably more like, knowing you know nothing, but excited to see what it's all about.

I've always enjoyed experiencing new things. But I'm not expecting the DMT to do any work for me, or even know what that work might be, just intently preparing for a new experience that I think has the potential to be quite profound! Hello to you too and you don't need to shut up! Any input on the subject is appreciated so thanks for taking the time to reply.
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