magic clown
aka Slap Stick Sam
"I met God, we had a little chat. I thought he was quite shallow." I feel I ought to elaborate on that statment least people find me too vain. I was brought up by people who thought it important that I had God in my life. They tried very hard to make me follow Jesus and accept the word of the Lord. I was beaten by my father for, at the age of nine, saying I didn't have any belief. I was compelled to go to a Protestant school very much against my wishes. Again at this school I was chastised and punished for my reluctance to accept The Word. All around I could see the hypocracy of these people. Their lies, their murders, their wars. Using threats of their vengefull God in order to compell me to do their bidding. My childhood was miserable because of other peoples gods. The idea of setting the course of my life on the say so of some old Jewish folk tale, so I could be like them, was then, and is still a complete anathma to me. I have lived for over forty years and through out those years my attitude to God and his religions has always been one of total contempt. There is no spirtual side to my character. I believe in nothing after death. Further more, I have very little respect for any people who do profess to being religious. This is how I live my life. I am certain with every fibre in my body that I am right. I am comfortable living my life this way. Then one day I found DMT and met God. Fuck that was a shock. Thirty odd years of being wrong. That realization of the possibilities of the existance of God, of life after death, universes beyond our own. The realization that everything I had believed in and based my life upon was wrong. Discovery of DMT had a huge and very profound affect on me, it was startling, it was shocking. I seriously considered the notion of suicide. What was I doing here? Waiting to die so that I could rejoin the rest of the Universe? Suddenly I had to reavaluate every aspect of my life. I used DMT as a the tool to help reavaluate my life. To search for the answers to burning questions I now had. With all the zeal of a fresh convert, I drank deep from that chalice brothers. I know of no other person, who has jumpped as many time as I have. I doubt there are many people on this planet who know the spice like I do and that even includes here, within our little Blackclover community. I have met God. I have met God many times. I have met God in various guises. I have become familliar with him and familia with the notion of him. Familiar is the word. Familiar breads contempt. Now I am back, back to my pre DMT base. I'm back but I went on a long journey, the path of which was uncertain and strange. DMT had huge effect on me, it forced me to think very hard about my life, to question my motives, my place in the Universe and my future. These were things I had never really considered before. In that respect DMT did trully expand my mind. When I considered my motives and thought hard and honestly about what I was looking for, I realized that deep down it was purley for hedonistic kicks. I realized that I jump in exactly the same way, with exactly the same expectations and motives, as other people ride on fair ground attractions. Its how I live my life, purley for the kicks. I don't think I'm vain, far from it. There could be, probably easily, be a very good case to prove that I am shallow. I'm cool about knowing that and I'm greatfull that DMT allowed me to find that out.