horrible dmt trip

[Pandora]

Yes, Awakened. The fact of the matter is that DMT is not a recreational drug. Thus, not all trips are good. Nexians are special. They are the outliers in society. They FACE their fears and sometimes even go deeper. So-called normals are in such deep denial, so deeply asleep, imo they cannot even accurately identify or name their fears, much less face the material or work on it.

We get one run in this iteration, regardless of your beliefs. One go at the here and now. Infinite love to you psychonauts who are willing to do anything from dip a toe to dive into the deep end. This is important work. It IS creating long term change, it's just that the cycle is decades to centuries so young folks who want immediate results get frustrated.

We can use technology to try to influence our evolution but that's a rocky road at best imo. These types of explorations that we do on the forefront of consciousness help to evolve the CULTURE. Slowly but surely, we have penetrated. And there's no going back. The way out is through. More and more are seeing this.

Our path is not an easy one, not a recreational one, but it is a good one, a right one and can be an ecstatic one.

Peace & Love

 

[ithappenedat21]

Pandora read my mind. Everything I stand strong for. Always.

 

[darellmatt]

Thank you for the detailed trip report.

I can relate. Last weekend I had my 3rd oral DMT experience. I took 100mg harmala and then an hour later 150 mg of DMT. After an hour or so I felt nothing so I took another 100 mg, thinking the batch had low potency. After another half hour I still felt nothing so I took another 50 mg.

I was wrong about the low potency. For whatever reason this trip had a delayed onset. At about 2 hours it started coming on and on and on. At first it was kaleidoscopic visuals but then I began to feel this sense of impending dread. My wife came in and asked if I was OK but I sent her into the bedroom. I felt something coming that I wanted to face alone.

I entered a space where I was unaware of my physical surroundings. There was a machine, electronics and chrome, highly detailed. A conveyor belt was carrying bodies into the machine. These bodies were ME, each one of them. They were being electro tortured and executed by the machine. The feeling was one of absolute terror. I stayed with that experience as long as I could, until I finally couldn't stand it anymore and called my wife for help. She came in and interacting with her brought me back.

The rest of the trip was peaceful, with extravagantly detailed 3 dimensional shapes in suble flowing colors and interconnected high tech linkages.

I would not describe this as a "bad" trip. I was taken by surprise by the intensity due to my misjudgement about potency (it was the first time I had used this batch). But I absolutely felt that the horror I was experiencing was a dimension of my own consciousness that operates and influences me anyway when I am unaware of it.

 

[friken]

There has already been some great feedback to this -- I'll add my 2 cents anyway.

I had a horrid 1st DMT experience (oral mimosa/rue)... REALLY REALLY DEEP AND DARK: A Journey of Fear - First steps in Hyperspace - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus

What I found when taking time to really ponder what I had experienced, I found a reflection of my own fears about existence and specifically what happens after this life. I would say my first dmt experience (aya) threw at me exactly what I feared, death with nothing beyond.

I experienced death and I experienced profound loneliness and emptiness -- an endless empty abyss with nothing... no ego, no guides, no loved ones who went before, nothing. not even myself for company. In that void I stayed for an eternity (hard to use the word I in ego loss but not another word to use). I struggled with the experience after my return to my ego. A LOT.

What I have found though is that I have experienced that fear and it can no longer control me. I did come out the other side of it and learned something about myself in the process. You have now experienced something dark and very profound. You did emerge out the other side.

Something I have had on subsequent aya trips is a feeling of fighting... not wanting to let go to the experience. That feeling is fear of the unknown with the unknown best described as a dark entity just waiting for me to let go so it may have its way with my psyche... my soul. During one such trip I let go out of exhaustion (aya trips are loooong) and had a fleeting thought. No matter what something else could do to destroy me, my psyche, my soul... I would reemerge and be better for it. With that realization came a visual of being crushed by oppresive darkness to a single infinately small point until that point exploded in that most brilliant of light. That was one of the most freeing revelations I have had. It didn't alleviate all fear, but certainly helped.

Look deep into the feeling of your trip, the burning and the pressure. Know you did manage it, you did emerge from it, and should you ever need a reminder of that fear again, you have a higher capacity to cope with it and emerge from it again -- stronger and more complete.

 

[Baby Bonnie Hood]

...
We can use technology to try to influence our evolution but that's a rocky road at best imo. ...

Well said Pandora. I'm a technophile but you are right on the spot!
I have just the right quote for this... "situation" with mankind:

"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."
-- Martin Luther King Jr.

 

[Mindlusion]

Sounds like you got quite a dose. I hope in due time that trauma will subside.

It could just be me trying to relate your experience to one of my own, but I too had one similar. Around the time I first discovered the breakthrough experience, and that experience I had was also the one that made me take a LONG break from DMT.

Mine was similar, started with the usual geometric patterns, until it just broke.

I was stuck in a pitch black abyss, with a strong feeling of fear. I remember an omnipotent presence of evil, humanoid, even.
It was as if I was being beaten into submission by a group of thugs in a parking lot, completely helpless.

But, as quickly as it was over, I came back crying and laughing, so pleased to be back safe in my home away from whatever it was.

Within 20 minutes it was almost as if it never happened, the trauma was gone. But, I still had no urge whatsoever to go back there EVER again, like you said.

I hope you have some peace of mind soon.

...
We can use technology to try to influence our evolution but that's a rocky road at best imo. ...

Well said Pandora. I'm a technophile but you are right on the spot!
I have just the right quote for this... "situation" with mankind:

"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."
-- Martin Luther King Jr.

Very well said ladies,

BBH thanks for that quote!
I think I might stick that Martin Luther King Jr. quote in my signature.