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I am 31 and wat is this?
- Thread starter od3
- Start date
Hey guys, just thought Id pop in again and say hi. So it's been quite a year for me. Got married which was pretty sweet. My dad died though, which was not so cool, but thats just unavoidable life stuff we all have to deal with at one stage or another. If anything it brought a lot of people together, as weird as that may sound. It also makes you realise how lucky you are to have the people in your life who you may have taken for granted before. All learning stuff.
Other than that, life is amazing and I am extremely happy. I have loved ones all around, a fat sack in my top drawer at all times and I really have no complaints.
But that aside, lets get to the real deal here. It found me again...
Again I was sat on my couch, minding my own business, and someone walks in (a friend of mine) and hands me a bag of DMT. What a champ. The last time I did DMT was when I first wrote the original story and it is still as vivid in my memory now, as it was then. In fact, maybe even too much so.
Here's the thing. It's sitting in my drawer and I am too afraid to smoke it. I feel ashamed to admit this. It is some deep rooted primal fear I don't even understand. Now that I know how extreme this experience is, I feel even after all this time, I need more time to "prepare". Whatever that means, maybe you guys know or could help me. How do I prepare properly this time? I don't want to just do this for the sake of doing it. I feel I need to approach this stuff as carefully and as respectfully as possible. It would be nice to hear some stories or advice from you guys that may alleviate my quite possibly irrational concerns.
Its like the first time I smoked it, I was granted glimpses of this infinite universe. I want to know how to explore this universe properly now and also learn how to not be afraid of its power as I was the first time. I need to see "the core" of this before I am truly satisfied but, it gives me "The Fear". What do some of the more experienced cadets have to say?
Other than that, life is amazing and I am extremely happy. I have loved ones all around, a fat sack in my top drawer at all times and I really have no complaints.
But that aside, lets get to the real deal here. It found me again...
Again I was sat on my couch, minding my own business, and someone walks in (a friend of mine) and hands me a bag of DMT. What a champ. The last time I did DMT was when I first wrote the original story and it is still as vivid in my memory now, as it was then. In fact, maybe even too much so.
Here's the thing. It's sitting in my drawer and I am too afraid to smoke it. I feel ashamed to admit this. It is some deep rooted primal fear I don't even understand. Now that I know how extreme this experience is, I feel even after all this time, I need more time to "prepare". Whatever that means, maybe you guys know or could help me. How do I prepare properly this time? I don't want to just do this for the sake of doing it. I feel I need to approach this stuff as carefully and as respectfully as possible. It would be nice to hear some stories or advice from you guys that may alleviate my quite possibly irrational concerns.
Its like the first time I smoked it, I was granted glimpses of this infinite universe. I want to know how to explore this universe properly now and also learn how to not be afraid of its power as I was the first time. I need to see "the core" of this before I am truly satisfied but, it gives me "The Fear". What do some of the more experienced cadets have to say?
don't be ashamed. I'm about to turn 39, have never "broken through", and am still anxious about doing so.
yet I have about 200+ mg free base that I've had for a couple years, from a gram gifted to me. I'll partake when "the time is right", but I'll always have the utmost respect for the apex psychedelic.
yet I have about 200+ mg free base that I've had for a couple years, from a gram gifted to me. I'll partake when "the time is right", but I'll always have the utmost respect for the apex psychedelic.
Spiritofspice
Rising Star
The spirit world loves fools and courage.
I always recommend a small test dose to test for a reaction then pack a breakthrough dose.
This is my method for introducing friends to the spice for the first time.
I believe mid dosing is responsible for a lot of difficult trips.
I enjoyed your report. Welcome
I always recommend a small test dose to test for a reaction then pack a breakthrough dose.
This is my method for introducing friends to the spice for the first time.
I believe mid dosing is responsible for a lot of difficult trips.
I enjoyed your report. Welcome
skippyluvs
Rising Star
Uncle Knucles said:
Lmao - this made me laugh :thumb_up:
starway6
Rising Star
Something much like That hapened to me the first time i droped some very fresh .orange sunshine. from ...
a ..Nick Sands or Owsley lab ...
As a pasenger.. the car took off and as i looked through the windshield.. within minutes I watched the windshield evaporate into hundreds of tiny squares and bubbles right in front of my eyes and while passing trees they apeared to moving as if being hit by huracane winds bending and moving their limbs like arms trying to grab the moving cars..
Everyone i looked at were outlined by a red ora or line... the visuals were so heavy it took me twenty minutes to turn a door knob handle to simply open a door!
That kind of LSD quality may never be here again...
a ..Nick Sands or Owsley lab ...
As a pasenger.. the car took off and as i looked through the windshield.. within minutes I watched the windshield evaporate into hundreds of tiny squares and bubbles right in front of my eyes and while passing trees they apeared to moving as if being hit by huracane winds bending and moving their limbs like arms trying to grab the moving cars..
Everyone i looked at were outlined by a red ora or line... the visuals were so heavy it took me twenty minutes to turn a door knob handle to simply open a door!
That kind of LSD quality may never be here again...
z0mbie
Buy the ticket, take the ride
od3 said:
Having fear and anxiety before blasting off is totally normal, and probably never fully goes away even with the most experienced users. Sweaty palms, trembling hands, and an increased heart rate are things I normally always experience while preparing my spice for vaporization and leading up to the first hit. The feeling to me is similar to standing on top of a bungee jump. Looking down and knowing what your about to jump into can seem scary, but after you do it you realize how incredible and liberating the rush of that experience really is, and then you come back feeling triumphant and more accomplished because you conquered those fears and gained a really phenomenal and valuable experience.
I usually do things that take my mind off of the experience right before I do it, whether it is meditation, chores, or school work. Pretrip rituals and anxiety have been discussed on the Nexus plenty so I also recommend searching for the topic
od3 said:
I don't think that you will ever be that naive toward its power again, but who knows!
DMT produces unique experiences every time, so trying to navigate the experience "properly" or really getting to "the core" of this experience may be a little more difficult than with other entheogens, but by all means I invite you to try 8)
Welcome to the Nexus my friend! I really enjoyed your initial trip report and would love to hear about your second try
RhythmSpring
Esteemed member
Ya know, od3, you don't HAVE to do it... I think you are right to respect the molecule/spirit by intending to smoke it only when you have an intention.
For what it's worth, my first time smoking DMT was beautiful and life-changing, and nearly every time smoking it after that was stressful and not nearly as productive. I like to call it the "psychedelic ceiling."
Taking harmalas seems to open up this ceiling, though. Maybe Ayahuasca is up your alley, if you want to continue explorations but want to do it in a respectful way. Have you considered that?
For what it's worth, my first time smoking DMT was beautiful and life-changing, and nearly every time smoking it after that was stressful and not nearly as productive. I like to call it the "psychedelic ceiling."
Taking harmalas seems to open up this ceiling, though. Maybe Ayahuasca is up your alley, if you want to continue explorations but want to do it in a respectful way. Have you considered that?
Definitely no need to feel ashamed. If anything, the fact that your showing this experience respect says alot about how deeply it affected you. This stuff is serious business (and all at the same time not serious whatsoever).
As far as preparation goes, everyone will tell you differently. For me, i typically set the whole day aside, getting into the flow of the day, then usually partaking in the late evening/nighttime. Shower, diet, meditative practices, etc; all go a long way in priming yourself and dealing with the potential spiritual onslaught.
Take your time in getting back with the experience. Integrating these heavy experiences are just as important, if not more important than the actual experiences themselves; that's where many of the benefits lie and take effect.
As far as 'finding the core' ..hehe ...good luck on that one :lol:
As far as preparation goes, everyone will tell you differently. For me, i typically set the whole day aside, getting into the flow of the day, then usually partaking in the late evening/nighttime. Shower, diet, meditative practices, etc; all go a long way in priming yourself and dealing with the potential spiritual onslaught.
Take your time in getting back with the experience. Integrating these heavy experiences are just as important, if not more important than the actual experiences themselves; that's where many of the benefits lie and take effect.
As far as 'finding the core' ..hehe ...good luck on that one :lol:
teotenakeltje
Rising Star
I definately understand that you are afraid to smoke it now. The first time is the easiest because you just don't have a clue about how powerfull this substance is.
The first time I've smoked it, I just eyeballed it, and it ripped me to pieces. It realy felt like being electrocuted and at the same time being possessed by some kind of gatekeepers (see pic). What happened afterwards has been forgotten, it was just too much. But what stayed is a feeling (kinda hard to explain).
The fact is that this was 2009 and I haven't broken through since!
I guess DMT wanted to tell me: respect my autority!!
But lately I have been having the calling, I made some changa, bought a torch lighter, and who knows...
The first time I've smoked it, I just eyeballed it, and it ripped me to pieces. It realy felt like being electrocuted and at the same time being possessed by some kind of gatekeepers (see pic). What happened afterwards has been forgotten, it was just too much. But what stayed is a feeling (kinda hard to explain).
The fact is that this was 2009 and I haven't broken through since!
I guess DMT wanted to tell me: respect my autority!!
But lately I have been having the calling, I made some changa, bought a torch lighter, and who knows...