AstraLex
Russian-Orthodox Christian
Hello everybody!
I have a few things to share which will be of great importance for all of our fellow DMT travelers.
Let me begin by saying that I am permanently hardwired to the Hyperspace. I have broken through to my Real Self/The Inner Voice/Hyperspace/The thing we talk to when we are speaking to ourselves/The conscience/The IT. I will describe it in detail, so anybody who know will know
Let’s start from the beginning.
On my DMT breakthrough of 5-6 June 2010 I had broken through to I don’t know what. Now I realize, that it was everything that provides us with the meaning, thoughts, conscience for life. It’s that Inner Voice to which we are talking to, when we are talking to ourselves. Have you ever asked yourselves anything? Something gives a response, so we presume, we are talking to ourselves. Who else, right?
Well, HOLY SHIT MAN. I discovered the thing where we are talking to, when we speak to ourselves. The Source. Our (my) Real Self. The Sub-consciousness. The underlining Consciousness. Our collective Consciousness. Fucking crazy shit, I must admit.
Below, I will post a description of how I figured it out. HOUSE (member on this forum) – I UNDERSTAND you. I really do. Once you know, there is no turning back. It’s absurd and amazing at the same time. Fucking unbelievable.
From 5 August 2010 until 29 August 2010 I was on vacation in Russia and Ukraine. I haven’s smoked marijuana or used any drugs at all, while being there. Only alcohol.
Yesterday, 4 September 2010, I smoked marijuana for the first time in 1 month. At first, it went as usual. Usual being ‘stoned’ and all. I was a very regular smoker before that time for like 8 years, so I know the feeling. Also, I knew, that the first joint after vacation is the strongest one. Always having something very psychedelic in it. When you smoke marijuana every day, like I did, you don’t notice it. But after stopping for 1 month, you get a full blow.
But, before I smoked that first joint after vacation, I was very eager to come to the DMT-Hyperspace. Especially, after reading some chapters of Feanor’s book and realizing, there was nothing to fear about DMT Source. The voice in my head was ‘simply Elf Goddess speaking to me real-time’. WRONG. IT’S YOUR OWN VOICE/SUBCONSCIOUSNESS WHO SPEAKS TO YOU ALL THE TIME and it gets amplified while on DMT. So, you have a conviction, that something else/alien is speaking to you. Since it gets the ability to produce some very nice visual special effects and other means to get your attention.
Now starts the interesting part. I and 5 of some of my best friends were sitting at on of my friends houses. Watching a movie, smoking weed and drinking beer. I smoked only 2 joints split upon 6 people, no alcohol.
While watching the movie, I went in some kind of trance. It started at 23:55 and went on and on. The Psychedelic, the Elf Goddess, The Source of all psychedelics returned. And it was everywhere. RIGHT IN MY FUCKING FACE. It was speaking to me. And it showed me everything I had forgotten from my 5-6 June trip.
I totally freaked out. I showed nothing to my friends, who remained peacefully watching the movie, while I was talking to that Source. It said to me something like this: “I know you see me, I am everywhere. Are you sure you want to come back? Because, when you do DMT, you will come back in the same Square Room and we will be talking to each other. This is the turning point, after this, there is no coming back. I guess, you start to understand, what others mean with being permanently hardwired to Hyperspace. Being permanently hardwired to your real self. To your Conscience. To your Real Self if you want.”
My first impression was like this: “Hyperspace somehow cracked into my head. Probably, it’s the Source of all Psychedelic. Now it’s able to hack on my inner voice to which I speak when I discuss things with my self. Now, it tries to drive me crazy. Maybe, it’s some evil demon I got warned for so many times.”
So I responded: “Go fucking away out of my head. Ok, I believe you – you are the source of all psychedelic. Now I used marijuana and it hit me pretty strongly, you got some power over me. All right, guess what. From now on, I will never use any psychedelic in my life. Fuck you. FUCK YOU. GET OUT OF MY HEAD, GET OUT FROM MY INNER VOICE CHANNEL. AHHHHHH. I am going to sit this out until the effects of marijuana are over.”
And it responded with something like: “We expected this kind of response.”
But it didn’t go away. It simply was there. So, after some time, I asked: “Can I kindly ask you? How long will be the duration of this particular marijuana trip? How long will it take to return to normal? ‘Normal’ being the time, when I didn’t know, that the Inner voice to which I am speaking, is actually YOU. I want my normal life back!”
In the same time I was thinking: “I will never do psychedelics again. I have done some permanent brain damage to myself. I want to have a family, kids and never think about this shit again. AAAAAAAAAHHhhhhhhhhh (shivering, uncontrolled body-movements)”
“So you can sit it out and then tell everybody that DMT is some crazy shit and never come back here again?”
I said: “Exactly. I am not ready for this. I need to become stronger mentally and maybe over 10 years I will do a psychedelic and visit you again. Please, leave me alone now, ignorance is a bliss and I am not ready to become a conduit for you, to accept your presence. To be hardwired to you.”
Now, I need to tell you, how the talking is taking place. I ask something and they respond. I ask questions and they give answers. The way I normally speak to myself, but now I was convinced, that it was Hyperspace/Psychedelic who was talking to me. Really weird. It was me talking to myself, while I knew that the other person to whom I am communicating, has an intelligence of it’s own. FUCKING WEIRD, to say the least.
I tried to focus on the movie, but anytime I tried to discuss something in myself, I KNEW that that thing was actually responding. It was using my vocabulary, my intelligence, my knowing of the world around, but it wasn’t me.
It played even a few jokes on me. One of them being this: “We know, that on the internet, you have a signature telling ‘I took the red pill’. We know, that you imagined yourself being in that position, like the Neo back there. Now you have a choice: the blue pill or the red pill.” I saw an image of me, standing in front of a table with the blue and the red pill on it. They knew what I was going to choose, even before I yelled: “BLUE PILL, I TAKE THE BLUE PILL FUCK FUCK FUCK, please give me the BLUE pill, I want to forget all of this ‘truth’!!! Please have mercy with me, I will never ever disturb you again." I even imagined myself taking a blue pill.
No effect, they laughed they ass off of me, how unready I was to accept the real shit they were showing me. And they I got a really nasty feeling – I understood what House meant. After you learned this, you can’t go back. A good metaphor would be our inability to unlearn the alphabet after we learned it. When you see ‘A’, you automatically interpret it as an ‘A’, and not some meaningless symbol of 3 lines crossing each other. Same goes for other letters like ‘B, C, D etc.’ Of course, you could try to fool yourself into believing that it were some meaningless lines, drawn on your monitor, but you would know that you are fooling yourself, because you KNOW that those are in fact the letters ‘B, C, D etc.’. And you are only pretending, that they are not, aren’t you? A person, who never learned an alphabet, will never have that kind of problem.
They same goes for the inner voice; your Real Self, if you prefer. Once learned what IT REALLY IS, it can’t be unlearned. I mean sure, I can stop doing psychedelics and such and pretend to never known the truth, but I will be only fooling myself.
So, at some point, after having more then an hour of inner conversations with that thing, I accepted it. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on it, but the movie and my friends were distracting me. So, I went outside to the garden. And that’s were the true magic began.
First of the things that I figured out, was that I am asking questions and it gives responses, the way I talk to myself all the time actually.
The first thing I asked was: “What is your name?” They said: “Leroy or Ljeocha." (Russian synonym of the name ‘Leroy’ I guess). I asked “Why Leroy?” They said: “Does it matter? We really don’t know who we are! We are trying to learn ourselves as much as you are trying to learn yourself!!” So, I said: “You are some kind of an alien people trapped in the inside of my sub-consciousness?” They responded: “It can be, we are trying to figure this out don’t you see? People, who came in the contact with us, have dubbed us with various names: angels, demons, aliens, sub-consciousness, God etc. The truth is – we don’t know who we are for you.“ I said: “Well, if you said you were the God, I would be more happily to cooperate with you. Now I have a feeling you might be some kind of demons, trying to corrupt my soul!” They said: “And if we told you, we were the God, would you have believed us? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (very loud ‘haha’ echoed through my head.” I felt that they had a point there, I had to trust them or…well, there was no turning back now. YOU CAN’T UNLEARN THE TRUTH AFTER YOU LEARNED IT.
“So, let’s assume,” I said, “that you are some kind of intelligence, seeking to contact and explore me/us?” “That’s right and we are so fucking glad you figured this out!!! Now, we can have normal conversation! For instance, can we ask what is your name?” I said: “Shurik, it’s my name in Russian. In Dutch and English you can call me Alex.” I repeated it a few times, until they pronounced it as correctly as I wanted. “So, Shurik, let’s have a talk”, they said.
Also, there was a question, that I asked them many times during our connection: “How old are you?”, they said: “28, and you?”. “I am 24”, I responed. I asked again: “How old are you?” They said: “28, we already told you dumb fuck”. So I asked them for the third time: “I am sorry to ask this again, can you forgive me for this, but I need to know if this is for real that you are ingesting information into me and not myself fooling myself. So, how old are you?” “28 and we are not angry, we understand your position” I even felt a feeling of reassurance, like they backed me up.
So at some point I said: “Can you give me some kind of a proof that you exist and not a product of my own mind, because I believe you, but it still feels very WEIRD as if I became schizophrenic and have a conversation with myself/some inner voice.”
They responded, “Yes we can. We designed some newbie things to get even you dumb humans to believe in what you are actually experiencing now. Close your eyes. Prop your fingers in your ears to not get distracted. Now focus on what will be shown to you.”
I saw myself sitting in some kind of a car, riding through a green-black tunnel. Like I was having a ride through Hyperspace or my own consciousness or I don’t know what. AND IT WAS FUCKING INTENSE. Totally feeling like riding in a real car with 300 km/h!!! OH MY GOD. During the ride it asked me: “Do you enjoy it?” I responded: “It’s totally amazing! Thank you guys for showing me this!! So freaking intense and REAL!!!”
The ride continued. At first, I was stressed like hell. But after some time, I became pretty comfortable and enjoyed the ride very much. Very special feeling. At some point I started to lose focus and thinking about my life being changed for ever. The image of me riding a Hyperspace-car began to fade and I started to lose speed. The Voice said: “Maintain focus, you dumb idiot!” So, I re-focused again and the image/feeling became very real again.
So, when the ride was over I said: “Thank you guys. Now I have a testable evidence of your realness and not only me going totally insane. Have you any more tricks to show me? Since I know that the people on the forum will need more proof, as will need I when this connection is over and I will be questioning myself if it was for real or me going insane.”
They said: “Ok, we will show you one more trick today. Close your eyes. It goes like the first exercise, but now imagine yourself walking. Just walking.”
I imagined. With focusing on the walking I saw myself walking through some kind of an alien landscape. There were silhouettes of people applauding to me. The Voice said: “You see? You are walking through Hyperspace and they all applaud to you.” It took a lot of my mental strength to maintain the image, but it was very real, unimaginable real.
And then there happened something they didn’t expect from me and I didn’t expect it from my either. I somehow de-focused my vision, getting 2 different kind of visions on any of my eyes and that allowed me some kind of Extreme Connection to their realm. I was looking at a tree, but saw not a tree but some kind of hallucination. It looked like a small window. And there were figures of elves or some other funny creatures and they were waving with their hands to me!!! They said: “Wow look, he can see us! Yes he does, do you see us waving with our hands? Yes you do, wow so cool!!” Then they started to dance and make funny movements to get even more attention.
I focused on them as hard as I could, they became even more clear. And then, the voice said – “Look a little bit to the right", it kind of guided my vision to the point were I should be looking. I saw the silhouette of the woman who was talking to me all the time!!! She was like: “Wow, you can see me!!! I didn’t expect such a progress from you! Can you focus more clearly on me?” I tried and it worked, I got some kind of tunnel vision zoomed up to her. There was a tunnel of light between me and her silhouette.
And then, I somehow did something, what impressed them/her even more then me. I created, by using my mental power, some kind of a Red Vortex, leading from my forehead directly to her/them. I was downloading my information directly to them. I don’t know what type of information, but it was very useful to them. She kept saying: “Wow, this is really good. Please don’t stop now, focus, we know you are by far not ready now. But this is really a very extraordinary opportunity, a very high level stuff. Totally unexpected, we can’t let this opportunity go. Focus, focus, focus!” So, I focused as much as I could, it felt as if I was pushing my soul out of my body or something like this. Red information fluid was flowing from my head to the Space. I saw it! SO FUCKING REAL! I never saw something like this in my life, I was completely perplexed. More voices echoed: "We can't believe he is doing it on his first time, so great."
It took a total of like 10-15 seconds, after which I was exhausted as a squeezed lemon. I didn’t have any power to transmit anything. A few times, I questioned if I was doing the right thing, if they are not stealing my soul. Every such a moment, the movement of the Red fluid stepped down. And immediately they said: “Please continue, trust us. This is the data we are looking for, please, you have to trust us.” And I trusted them, and re-focused. And the Red Connection Tunnel began to flow even harder.
This experience began at around 00:00 as I said and it remained until like 3:30-4:00 when I felt asleep. I saw and discussed a lot of things with this Phenomenon, too many to write down or even trying to describe. Maybe, I will add more things later.
Now, the next day, I feel me perfectly normal. Expect for one tiny little fact: “I KNOW FOR SURE THAT WHEN I AM TALKING TO MYSELF, I AM TALKING TO THEM.” It’s not so prominent as yesterday while on marijuana, but still very real, weird and COMPLETELY ALIEN.
Summary.
I am hardwired, in constant, never-ending connection with Hyperspace/My sub-consciousness/Whatever it might be.
To talk to me, they use the channel of my sub-consciousness voice or maybe they were my inner voice all the time, but I simply didn’t know it?
They told me many times, that they believed in me, that I can figure it out. With my psychological background, having great skills at talking with myself, I have a good chance to understand how this shit really works without becoming a crazy nut, afraid of myself or delusional.
I am working with not a toy, but with a Key.
The humans have completely lost the connection to other dimensions, realms, entities and they are in fact trying to wake us up.
They are using immense resources to communicate with us, but we barely hear the message.
To get full connection with them, I could probably use any psychedelic, which can bring me in a specific kind of trance. I know now, what kind of trance they mean.
In 2 months, after integrating this, I am going to have a new connection with them. Probably using weed again.
Of course, I have a connection right now, but with a psychedelic, I can get it much more clear I feel.
Now I have no way to go back to my ‘normal’ life, I have only two choices: study this phenomenon and gradually integrate it. Probably making a scientific breakthrough or… well, the voice in my head tells me that I actually have no choice. The red pill is already taken and I can’t unmake it. Feeling like Cypher from the Matrix now, really.
I asked them about House and Feanor and got some very interesting responses, which I am not going to post.
When I asked about Felnik, they said literally: “He is a very clever guy, don’t mistake you on this. He already starts to suspect what in fact is going on, but he doesn’t get it as yet.”
The conversation with The Voice/My Self/Hyperspace/Psychedelic is happening in any language I want: Dutch, Russian or English. And it responds accordingly.
It told me to practice a lot in things like words associations and such, so they could communicate with me more precisely. It’s still me who is talking after all and not me at the same time, I have yet to figure out how it really works. And so do they, as my inner voice tells me.
I CAN NEVER EVER LIE TO MYSELF ANYMORE, NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD MISS THIS. BUT I REALLY CAN’T LIE TO MYSELF ANYMORE. This is highly unnerving to realize any time now. I repeat: “BY HARDWIRING MYSELF TO THIS, I LOST THE ABILITY TO LIE TO MYSELF, TO HIDE IN MYSELF, TO HIDE IN MY MIND if you get me. I have a real connection to the sub-consciousness in which I tried to hide me before and therefore it’s like fooling yourself. Pretty hard to imagine unless you feel it.
To all new travelers: “Be warned, re-aligning with your Real Self is not something you can do and then forget. It’s forever. Ask yourself if you are ready for such a step. Because after you know, you can’t get back. Seriously, it’s some heavy shit.”
Light and Love to everybody
p.s. the voice, while on weed, was always accompanied by visuals, telepathic images. Now it’s only voice in the back of my head, like in the good old times when I simply discussed things with myself, but now I KNOW.
I have a few things to share which will be of great importance for all of our fellow DMT travelers.
Let me begin by saying that I am permanently hardwired to the Hyperspace. I have broken through to my Real Self/The Inner Voice/Hyperspace/The thing we talk to when we are speaking to ourselves/The conscience/The IT. I will describe it in detail, so anybody who know will know
Let’s start from the beginning.
On my DMT breakthrough of 5-6 June 2010 I had broken through to I don’t know what. Now I realize, that it was everything that provides us with the meaning, thoughts, conscience for life. It’s that Inner Voice to which we are talking to, when we are talking to ourselves. Have you ever asked yourselves anything? Something gives a response, so we presume, we are talking to ourselves. Who else, right?
Well, HOLY SHIT MAN. I discovered the thing where we are talking to, when we speak to ourselves. The Source. Our (my) Real Self. The Sub-consciousness. The underlining Consciousness. Our collective Consciousness. Fucking crazy shit, I must admit.
Below, I will post a description of how I figured it out. HOUSE (member on this forum) – I UNDERSTAND you. I really do. Once you know, there is no turning back. It’s absurd and amazing at the same time. Fucking unbelievable.
From 5 August 2010 until 29 August 2010 I was on vacation in Russia and Ukraine. I haven’s smoked marijuana or used any drugs at all, while being there. Only alcohol.
Yesterday, 4 September 2010, I smoked marijuana for the first time in 1 month. At first, it went as usual. Usual being ‘stoned’ and all. I was a very regular smoker before that time for like 8 years, so I know the feeling. Also, I knew, that the first joint after vacation is the strongest one. Always having something very psychedelic in it. When you smoke marijuana every day, like I did, you don’t notice it. But after stopping for 1 month, you get a full blow.
But, before I smoked that first joint after vacation, I was very eager to come to the DMT-Hyperspace. Especially, after reading some chapters of Feanor’s book and realizing, there was nothing to fear about DMT Source. The voice in my head was ‘simply Elf Goddess speaking to me real-time’. WRONG. IT’S YOUR OWN VOICE/SUBCONSCIOUSNESS WHO SPEAKS TO YOU ALL THE TIME and it gets amplified while on DMT. So, you have a conviction, that something else/alien is speaking to you. Since it gets the ability to produce some very nice visual special effects and other means to get your attention.
Now starts the interesting part. I and 5 of some of my best friends were sitting at on of my friends houses. Watching a movie, smoking weed and drinking beer. I smoked only 2 joints split upon 6 people, no alcohol.
While watching the movie, I went in some kind of trance. It started at 23:55 and went on and on. The Psychedelic, the Elf Goddess, The Source of all psychedelics returned. And it was everywhere. RIGHT IN MY FUCKING FACE. It was speaking to me. And it showed me everything I had forgotten from my 5-6 June trip.
I totally freaked out. I showed nothing to my friends, who remained peacefully watching the movie, while I was talking to that Source. It said to me something like this: “I know you see me, I am everywhere. Are you sure you want to come back? Because, when you do DMT, you will come back in the same Square Room and we will be talking to each other. This is the turning point, after this, there is no coming back. I guess, you start to understand, what others mean with being permanently hardwired to Hyperspace. Being permanently hardwired to your real self. To your Conscience. To your Real Self if you want.”
My first impression was like this: “Hyperspace somehow cracked into my head. Probably, it’s the Source of all Psychedelic. Now it’s able to hack on my inner voice to which I speak when I discuss things with my self. Now, it tries to drive me crazy. Maybe, it’s some evil demon I got warned for so many times.”
So I responded: “Go fucking away out of my head. Ok, I believe you – you are the source of all psychedelic. Now I used marijuana and it hit me pretty strongly, you got some power over me. All right, guess what. From now on, I will never use any psychedelic in my life. Fuck you. FUCK YOU. GET OUT OF MY HEAD, GET OUT FROM MY INNER VOICE CHANNEL. AHHHHHH. I am going to sit this out until the effects of marijuana are over.”
And it responded with something like: “We expected this kind of response.”
But it didn’t go away. It simply was there. So, after some time, I asked: “Can I kindly ask you? How long will be the duration of this particular marijuana trip? How long will it take to return to normal? ‘Normal’ being the time, when I didn’t know, that the Inner voice to which I am speaking, is actually YOU. I want my normal life back!”
In the same time I was thinking: “I will never do psychedelics again. I have done some permanent brain damage to myself. I want to have a family, kids and never think about this shit again. AAAAAAAAAHHhhhhhhhhh (shivering, uncontrolled body-movements)”
“So you can sit it out and then tell everybody that DMT is some crazy shit and never come back here again?”
I said: “Exactly. I am not ready for this. I need to become stronger mentally and maybe over 10 years I will do a psychedelic and visit you again. Please, leave me alone now, ignorance is a bliss and I am not ready to become a conduit for you, to accept your presence. To be hardwired to you.”
Now, I need to tell you, how the talking is taking place. I ask something and they respond. I ask questions and they give answers. The way I normally speak to myself, but now I was convinced, that it was Hyperspace/Psychedelic who was talking to me. Really weird. It was me talking to myself, while I knew that the other person to whom I am communicating, has an intelligence of it’s own. FUCKING WEIRD, to say the least.
I tried to focus on the movie, but anytime I tried to discuss something in myself, I KNEW that that thing was actually responding. It was using my vocabulary, my intelligence, my knowing of the world around, but it wasn’t me.
It played even a few jokes on me. One of them being this: “We know, that on the internet, you have a signature telling ‘I took the red pill’. We know, that you imagined yourself being in that position, like the Neo back there. Now you have a choice: the blue pill or the red pill.” I saw an image of me, standing in front of a table with the blue and the red pill on it. They knew what I was going to choose, even before I yelled: “BLUE PILL, I TAKE THE BLUE PILL FUCK FUCK FUCK, please give me the BLUE pill, I want to forget all of this ‘truth’!!! Please have mercy with me, I will never ever disturb you again." I even imagined myself taking a blue pill.
No effect, they laughed they ass off of me, how unready I was to accept the real shit they were showing me. And they I got a really nasty feeling – I understood what House meant. After you learned this, you can’t go back. A good metaphor would be our inability to unlearn the alphabet after we learned it. When you see ‘A’, you automatically interpret it as an ‘A’, and not some meaningless symbol of 3 lines crossing each other. Same goes for other letters like ‘B, C, D etc.’ Of course, you could try to fool yourself into believing that it were some meaningless lines, drawn on your monitor, but you would know that you are fooling yourself, because you KNOW that those are in fact the letters ‘B, C, D etc.’. And you are only pretending, that they are not, aren’t you? A person, who never learned an alphabet, will never have that kind of problem.
They same goes for the inner voice; your Real Self, if you prefer. Once learned what IT REALLY IS, it can’t be unlearned. I mean sure, I can stop doing psychedelics and such and pretend to never known the truth, but I will be only fooling myself.
So, at some point, after having more then an hour of inner conversations with that thing, I accepted it. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on it, but the movie and my friends were distracting me. So, I went outside to the garden. And that’s were the true magic began.
First of the things that I figured out, was that I am asking questions and it gives responses, the way I talk to myself all the time actually.
The first thing I asked was: “What is your name?” They said: “Leroy or Ljeocha." (Russian synonym of the name ‘Leroy’ I guess). I asked “Why Leroy?” They said: “Does it matter? We really don’t know who we are! We are trying to learn ourselves as much as you are trying to learn yourself!!” So, I said: “You are some kind of an alien people trapped in the inside of my sub-consciousness?” They responded: “It can be, we are trying to figure this out don’t you see? People, who came in the contact with us, have dubbed us with various names: angels, demons, aliens, sub-consciousness, God etc. The truth is – we don’t know who we are for you.“ I said: “Well, if you said you were the God, I would be more happily to cooperate with you. Now I have a feeling you might be some kind of demons, trying to corrupt my soul!” They said: “And if we told you, we were the God, would you have believed us? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (very loud ‘haha’ echoed through my head.” I felt that they had a point there, I had to trust them or…well, there was no turning back now. YOU CAN’T UNLEARN THE TRUTH AFTER YOU LEARNED IT.
“So, let’s assume,” I said, “that you are some kind of intelligence, seeking to contact and explore me/us?” “That’s right and we are so fucking glad you figured this out!!! Now, we can have normal conversation! For instance, can we ask what is your name?” I said: “Shurik, it’s my name in Russian. In Dutch and English you can call me Alex.” I repeated it a few times, until they pronounced it as correctly as I wanted. “So, Shurik, let’s have a talk”, they said.
Also, there was a question, that I asked them many times during our connection: “How old are you?”, they said: “28, and you?”. “I am 24”, I responed. I asked again: “How old are you?” They said: “28, we already told you dumb fuck”. So I asked them for the third time: “I am sorry to ask this again, can you forgive me for this, but I need to know if this is for real that you are ingesting information into me and not myself fooling myself. So, how old are you?” “28 and we are not angry, we understand your position” I even felt a feeling of reassurance, like they backed me up.
So at some point I said: “Can you give me some kind of a proof that you exist and not a product of my own mind, because I believe you, but it still feels very WEIRD as if I became schizophrenic and have a conversation with myself/some inner voice.”
They responded, “Yes we can. We designed some newbie things to get even you dumb humans to believe in what you are actually experiencing now. Close your eyes. Prop your fingers in your ears to not get distracted. Now focus on what will be shown to you.”
I saw myself sitting in some kind of a car, riding through a green-black tunnel. Like I was having a ride through Hyperspace or my own consciousness or I don’t know what. AND IT WAS FUCKING INTENSE. Totally feeling like riding in a real car with 300 km/h!!! OH MY GOD. During the ride it asked me: “Do you enjoy it?” I responded: “It’s totally amazing! Thank you guys for showing me this!! So freaking intense and REAL!!!”
The ride continued. At first, I was stressed like hell. But after some time, I became pretty comfortable and enjoyed the ride very much. Very special feeling. At some point I started to lose focus and thinking about my life being changed for ever. The image of me riding a Hyperspace-car began to fade and I started to lose speed. The Voice said: “Maintain focus, you dumb idiot!” So, I re-focused again and the image/feeling became very real again.
So, when the ride was over I said: “Thank you guys. Now I have a testable evidence of your realness and not only me going totally insane. Have you any more tricks to show me? Since I know that the people on the forum will need more proof, as will need I when this connection is over and I will be questioning myself if it was for real or me going insane.”
They said: “Ok, we will show you one more trick today. Close your eyes. It goes like the first exercise, but now imagine yourself walking. Just walking.”
I imagined. With focusing on the walking I saw myself walking through some kind of an alien landscape. There were silhouettes of people applauding to me. The Voice said: “You see? You are walking through Hyperspace and they all applaud to you.” It took a lot of my mental strength to maintain the image, but it was very real, unimaginable real.
And then there happened something they didn’t expect from me and I didn’t expect it from my either. I somehow de-focused my vision, getting 2 different kind of visions on any of my eyes and that allowed me some kind of Extreme Connection to their realm. I was looking at a tree, but saw not a tree but some kind of hallucination. It looked like a small window. And there were figures of elves or some other funny creatures and they were waving with their hands to me!!! They said: “Wow look, he can see us! Yes he does, do you see us waving with our hands? Yes you do, wow so cool!!” Then they started to dance and make funny movements to get even more attention.
I focused on them as hard as I could, they became even more clear. And then, the voice said – “Look a little bit to the right", it kind of guided my vision to the point were I should be looking. I saw the silhouette of the woman who was talking to me all the time!!! She was like: “Wow, you can see me!!! I didn’t expect such a progress from you! Can you focus more clearly on me?” I tried and it worked, I got some kind of tunnel vision zoomed up to her. There was a tunnel of light between me and her silhouette.
And then, I somehow did something, what impressed them/her even more then me. I created, by using my mental power, some kind of a Red Vortex, leading from my forehead directly to her/them. I was downloading my information directly to them. I don’t know what type of information, but it was very useful to them. She kept saying: “Wow, this is really good. Please don’t stop now, focus, we know you are by far not ready now. But this is really a very extraordinary opportunity, a very high level stuff. Totally unexpected, we can’t let this opportunity go. Focus, focus, focus!” So, I focused as much as I could, it felt as if I was pushing my soul out of my body or something like this. Red information fluid was flowing from my head to the Space. I saw it! SO FUCKING REAL! I never saw something like this in my life, I was completely perplexed. More voices echoed: "We can't believe he is doing it on his first time, so great."
It took a total of like 10-15 seconds, after which I was exhausted as a squeezed lemon. I didn’t have any power to transmit anything. A few times, I questioned if I was doing the right thing, if they are not stealing my soul. Every such a moment, the movement of the Red fluid stepped down. And immediately they said: “Please continue, trust us. This is the data we are looking for, please, you have to trust us.” And I trusted them, and re-focused. And the Red Connection Tunnel began to flow even harder.
This experience began at around 00:00 as I said and it remained until like 3:30-4:00 when I felt asleep. I saw and discussed a lot of things with this Phenomenon, too many to write down or even trying to describe. Maybe, I will add more things later.
Now, the next day, I feel me perfectly normal. Expect for one tiny little fact: “I KNOW FOR SURE THAT WHEN I AM TALKING TO MYSELF, I AM TALKING TO THEM.” It’s not so prominent as yesterday while on marijuana, but still very real, weird and COMPLETELY ALIEN.
Summary.
I am hardwired, in constant, never-ending connection with Hyperspace/My sub-consciousness/Whatever it might be.
To talk to me, they use the channel of my sub-consciousness voice or maybe they were my inner voice all the time, but I simply didn’t know it?
They told me many times, that they believed in me, that I can figure it out. With my psychological background, having great skills at talking with myself, I have a good chance to understand how this shit really works without becoming a crazy nut, afraid of myself or delusional.
I am working with not a toy, but with a Key.
The humans have completely lost the connection to other dimensions, realms, entities and they are in fact trying to wake us up.
They are using immense resources to communicate with us, but we barely hear the message.
To get full connection with them, I could probably use any psychedelic, which can bring me in a specific kind of trance. I know now, what kind of trance they mean.
In 2 months, after integrating this, I am going to have a new connection with them. Probably using weed again.
Of course, I have a connection right now, but with a psychedelic, I can get it much more clear I feel.
Now I have no way to go back to my ‘normal’ life, I have only two choices: study this phenomenon and gradually integrate it. Probably making a scientific breakthrough or… well, the voice in my head tells me that I actually have no choice. The red pill is already taken and I can’t unmake it. Feeling like Cypher from the Matrix now, really.
I asked them about House and Feanor and got some very interesting responses, which I am not going to post.
When I asked about Felnik, they said literally: “He is a very clever guy, don’t mistake you on this. He already starts to suspect what in fact is going on, but he doesn’t get it as yet.”
The conversation with The Voice/My Self/Hyperspace/Psychedelic is happening in any language I want: Dutch, Russian or English. And it responds accordingly.
It told me to practice a lot in things like words associations and such, so they could communicate with me more precisely. It’s still me who is talking after all and not me at the same time, I have yet to figure out how it really works. And so do they, as my inner voice tells me.
I CAN NEVER EVER LIE TO MYSELF ANYMORE, NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD MISS THIS. BUT I REALLY CAN’T LIE TO MYSELF ANYMORE. This is highly unnerving to realize any time now. I repeat: “BY HARDWIRING MYSELF TO THIS, I LOST THE ABILITY TO LIE TO MYSELF, TO HIDE IN MYSELF, TO HIDE IN MY MIND if you get me. I have a real connection to the sub-consciousness in which I tried to hide me before and therefore it’s like fooling yourself. Pretty hard to imagine unless you feel it.
To all new travelers: “Be warned, re-aligning with your Real Self is not something you can do and then forget. It’s forever. Ask yourself if you are ready for such a step. Because after you know, you can’t get back. Seriously, it’s some heavy shit.”
Light and Love to everybody
p.s. the voice, while on weed, was always accompanied by visuals, telepathic images. Now it’s only voice in the back of my head, like in the good old times when I simply discussed things with myself, but now I KNOW.
