I can't remember what happened

[simpledata]

Hi,
I finally got to try DMT today and here is how it went. I have a couple of questions too.

I heated the Chore Boy and sprinkled some spice on it. I loaded it into the GVG. Heated it up and inhaled deeply. Kept it in for a while. As the reality was fading away, I managed to take a second hit and safely put the lighter down.

I remember seeing some shapes when my eyes were closed, and losing the connection to my body but I don't really remember what happened after this. I guess I broke through but I can't even be sure at this point. I came back to reality 3-5 mins later and I started to put the pieces together -about reality- and get adjusted to being back. I slowly figured out who I am and where I am. Everything seemed quite interesting and new. After re-constructing my reality, I was almost back to the baseline with a slight afterglow. The first couple of seconds back in reality, I remember myself thinking "this is not my reality but this is fine too".

Now my question is... is this how it is supposed to be? Did you have anything similar? I don't remember meeting an entity, I just remember my bodily sensations fading away. That's it. I feel like I went through something really significant but I have no recollection of it.

Did I take too large of a dose? Did I take too little? I vaguely remember seeing shapes that looked like reptile-like faces but that's it. They didn't feel like they were entities or as if they were communicating with me.

Also is a slight taste of butane normal while taking a hit from GVG? During the initial part where you don't have any vapor from the spice but the ceramic filter is slowly turning red.

 

[rainbow-dragon]

My only proper trip was very similar to yours. I remembered a bit more but definitely missed a great deal. I'd suggest trying a smaller dose, at least that's what I'm hoping will work next time

 

[Purges]

It might help if you told us what your dose was? Too much can cause a blackout, and too little tends to be underwhelming. If you don't have a milligram scale, you need one. You would remember at least some of it if you hit your sweet spot and broke through - for me that's about 25-30mg in the GVG. Memory recollection gets better with practise. I wouldn't be too concerned about the whole entity thing, some people get them more than others, but the higher the dose, the higher the likely hood of contact...

 

[illuminatrix]

Eventually, I was able to reconstruct more details, but I was left with a similar impression after my first experience, which was with changa. I also didn't remember explicit 'contact' but instead felt as if I could sense a presence, an intelligent presence, as if in the background, larger than me and holding me aloft...not literally, but something like that. I think I was disappointed about the lack of entities at first, but not after some reflection. As the others have said, the dosage window can be pretty important and you either had a bit too little or a bit too much, either underwhelmed or overwhelmed, or the other possibility is simply that the weight of the experience was too profound to be able to walk away with much of it, seems equally likely. I recommend keep trying to recall bits and pieces of it, try freewriting about it or recording something on audio. There will be a limit to what you can summon up, but it doesn't hurt to try and the sooner the better. It's also good just to simply focus on what you might have learned, what conscious/subconscious/otherworld signals did you receive and what do they mean to you? Because in a sense, the entities and other elements of that space can be either purely allegorical, entirely all too real, and sometimes both at the same time, defying mutual exclusivity as deftly as quantum particles. Definitely don't be discouraged and thanks for sharing. I hope you take some comfort from knowing that others have experienced similar intangibles. My thought is that our internal ability to perceive and recall this type of information just needs some flexing and calisthenics, then we'll be doing 'curls' in no time, remembering more and more.

 

[autumnsphere]

Remembering the experience is a huge problem for me and my friends. I have a philosophical explanation why a lot of people can't remember, but it's rather complicated. If you want to hear it, let me know.

 

[Maxx]

What i've noticed with every trip i've had so far is that the higher the dose, the less likely it is for you to remember specific details. And every bad trip i've had I honestly can't remember much of what happened during the actual ascension except for me lost in complete turmoil.

I recall Joe Rogan talking about how DMT is almost like a dream itself and the experience is very fleeting. I think there's some truth to that.

 

[Jarl Von Hoother]

I can't be to sure to tell you honestly what happened, but my advice is to take DMT on the best day of your life. Ground yourself in a totally comfortable enviornment, incense and candles. Try meditating for at least 30 minutes. Your mind tends to focus better after meditating, but not unless you are the slightest bit tired. If your forgetfullness persists may I suggest taking a otc choline donor like choline citrate or something much better would be 8mg of (otc) galantamine! with vitamin b5. Maybe if you drink some mate right before you'll get there. or 69 ron said cola nut invigorates any psychedelic. Wish you luck fellow brother of the spice :?:

 

[autumnsphere]

Here's my theory: when you break through you enter Infinity. But Infinity is utter uncertainty because it potentially contains everything. If you don't talk during a DMT trip, most likely you won't remember even half of it. Words create. Words draw things from infinity, form them and put them into finite boxes, so you can remember. How could you remember Everything? How could you remember Nothing? The primordial soup where all is one and you don't exist as a subject... No fucking way...

Jung has a great quote on that:

The unbounded makes you anxious since the unbounded is fearful and your humanity rebels against it. Consequently you seek limits and restraints so that you do not lose yourself tumbling into infinity. Restraint becomes imperative for you. You cry out for the word which has one meaning and no other, so that you escape boundless ambiguity. The word becomes your God, since it protects you from the countless possibilities of interpretation. The word is protective magic against the daimons of the unending, which tear at your soul and want to scatter you to the winds. You are saved if you can say at last: that is that and only that. You spealc the magic word, and the limitless is finally banished. Because of that men seek and make words.

 

[Jarl Von Hoother]

Here's my theory: when you break through you enter Infinity. But Infinity is utter uncertainty because it potentially contains everything. If you don't talk during a DMT trip, most likely you won't remember even half of it. Words create. Words draw things from infinity, form them and put them into finite boxes, so you can remember. How could you remember Everything? How could you remember Nothing? The primordial soup where all is one and you don't exist as a subject... No fucking way...

Jung has a great quote on that:

The unbounded makes you anxious since the unbounded is fearful and your humanity rebels against it. Consequently you seek limits and restraints so that you do not lose yourself tumbling into infinity. Restraint becomes imperative for you. You cry out for the word which has one meaning and no other, so that you escape boundless ambiguity. The word becomes your God, since it protects you from the countless possibilities of interpretation. The word is protective magic against the daimons of the unending, which tear at your soul and want to scatter you to the winds. You are saved if you can say at last: that is that and only that. You spealc the magic word, and the limitless is finally banished. Because of that men seek and make words.

:surprised :shock: 8)

 

[lexiqon]

Awesome quote autumnsphere! I actually found when I did a few lower-moderate doses of DMT I began to remember things I had forgotten from my breakthrough.

 

[flowersniffer]

I didn't remember any of my first journey at all, until a couple of hours later when it suddenly all came back to me, or at least most of it...Then I remembered being approached and tickled on the chin by a clown /jester type person with very long fingers and who was looking at me with a rather wry grin as if to tell me, "Look at you, you naughty boy!" but then I remember noticing something happening when I moved my hands and I got entranced looking at what I was doing, but still cannot remember what I saw.

My feeling is that it can all be a bit too much for our rational minds to take, especially when we have little or no experience. During my experience, I felt completely lucid, it was just that I didn't know where the hell I was!

It's interesting what Maxx said about DMT being almost like a dream...In that experience I had completely forgotton that I'd just smoked something and didn't know what was going on or where I was, all I could think was that I was dreaming...

 

[autumnsphere]

My trips don't get clearer with experience, don't know why... But I have a huge pre-flight anxiety, so this is something I need to work on.

 

[JacksonMetaller]

I find you remember more the more you do it. You start to put pieces of each experience together to compile an idea of what DMT is. Of course the actual feeling of it is fleeting but that is one of the great things about it imo. Everytime you do it it's a completely surprise. But you instantly recognize it and go deeper than the time before. That's just my experience though. I've had friends who agree with me. They say the first few times you do it it's just a mess of color and geometry. Eventually entities start to form out of these shapes and they show you things (literally point to things). The more you visit them the more you interact and enter their world. I have a friend who's been smoking a lot of it and said he's gone longboarding with the hyperspace beings. Sounds weird to me but I'm just starting to break the threshold of interaction with them so I wouldn't know.