No reason to beat yourself up over your completely natural reaction to facing your own demise, goddard.  I think most would share your initial reaction facing the same type of situation.  However, facing (and overcoming) that fear is perhaps the most liberating experience one can have in life.  I know that I am a far happier person for having went through it myself.  I don't sweat the small stuff anymore (or at least much less than before), and I don't dwell on my own eventual end.  In fact, I would say that once you overcome these fears, you might also discover that death is not the end you thought it was at all...and that's a very good thing indeed.  You will also discover that you are not who you thought you were (also good).