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I died yesterday....

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goddard

Rising Star
He guys,

Looking for that breaktrough experience I loaded up my colA bottle with About 0,08 0,1 gr of Dmt smoke, until I get the gvg this bottle thing works best for me

So I lie down on my bed meditAte A bit and decided to go for it..

I inhale almost everything in one time and took in the remAining bit quickly.

Keep the breAth and....... boom

Everything feels like it's melting I feel different I feel like I'm no longer my body but everything there is, I begin to realize I died.. I feel like a different being but still me.
I panick I think oh shit my son, u asshole u really killed yourself now u can't reverse it.
I think but hey how the fuck did I die so I try regain my sight and look in my room I'm thinking ddid I Burn myself light my bed onfire, all I saw was the bottle but it looked fine.
Then I didn't think oh it's just the Dmt I'll be fine, nope I thought I was gone.

So then I feel like I'm sitting on A throne in A dark scenery suurounding I felt like I was on my throne in hell or something, like I was this being waking up there like I was the god of the underworld...
I remember thinking ah shit now I'm back here my life was my escape from this lonely eternity and I fuked up by dying..

Meanwhile I was still me inside there and I started pleading and praying begging to get one more moment of life, trying to will myself back in my crappy reality I stArt seeing my window again and force myself up to get A last peek at life

When I look outside everything is made up of small blocks like Lego or in minecraft even the people on the streets looked like HD 8bit characters, while looking I thought that at every moment I could slip back into death I wasn't sure wether I was back or not. I took pretty long before everything became normal again and when I was sure I was alive again... I was crying tears of joy, being in my crappy house again.


I qeuss I had some trouble letting go, and I'm unsure if I will try breaking trough again

Offcourse this description doesn't come close to my experience but it was something like that haha
 
Delete other one please I changed name to how to delete sorry I am on my busted phone... ironically my PC died also yesterday
 
Relatable journey!

Next time you feel like this try and take a step back for a quick second. Ignore all the distracting thoughts and emotions at the moment. Focus on death. Focus on letting all of your life go. Your family, your emotions, your thoughts, your attachments. Keep in mind that letting go does not mean that you do not care. You care ever so much!! It is such a strong feeling to want to live again. It can be terrifying! Beyond the terror of letting go of your life is something else. Something beautiful!

Fear was your choice. Nothing wrong with the choice at all. It's hard to let go. We think that every emotion or thought is permanent. I can't feel this. If I do I will be stuck this way forever. Which is not the case at all. Emotions and thoughts rise and fall and go around and around. Everything is impermanent. Everything. It is the way the universe operates. We are born and we die. Every inhalation is a birth and every exhalation is a death. Our cells are replaced constantly. Cells dying and other cells born. The pain we suffer comes and goes. The joy we experience comes and goes. We attach and cling to pain and joy. Our mind wants joy to last forever and fears losing it. Our mind fears feeling negative emotions because it thinks it will be permanent.

Varying degrees of emotions and thoughts arise. Just like a roller coaster they rise and they fall. The roller coaster goes around and around. Stuck in a loop. There is a way off the ride and the loop. They only way off is to see how the roller coaster operates. Witness your fear and your joy. Look at it. Go into it. Let it completely take over and wash over you. See the impermanence of your emotions and thoughts. We convince ourselves that we are dead or play out all sorts of scenarios in our head, all of which are illusions. This is where the rubber meets the road. See your mind create the illusions which keep you on the roller coaster going around and around and up and down.

We like roller coasters! They can be terrifying and exhilarating. They can make you scream and they can make you laugh. But you are not the roller coaster. You can get off and go do something else.

There is no spoon! lol
 
No reason to beat yourself up over your completely natural reaction to facing your own demise, goddard. I think most would share your initial reaction facing the same type of situation. However, facing (and overcoming) that fear is perhaps the most liberating experience one can have in life. I know that I am a far happier person for having went through it myself. I don't sweat the small stuff anymore (or at least much less than before), and I don't dwell on my own eventual end. In fact, I would say that once you overcome these fears, you might also discover that death is not the end you thought it was at all...and that's a very good thing indeed. You will also discover that you are not who you thought you were (also good).
 
MasonJarBong said:
No reason to beat yourself up over your completely natural reaction to facing your own demise, goddard. I think most would share your initial reaction facing the same type of situation. However, facing (and overcoming) that fear is perhaps the most liberating experience one can have in life. I know that I am a far happier person for having went through it myself. I don't sweat the small stuff anymore (or at least much less than before), and I don't dwell on my own eventual end. In fact, I would say that once you overcome these fears, you might also discover that death is not the end you thought it was at all...and that's a very good thing indeed. You will also discover that you are not who you thought you were (also good).
 
There were a couple of times I thought I died too while breaking through but usually at that point I'd be tripping so hard that I forgot about the concept of death and just ended up experiencing whatever happened. Still those first 10-15 seconds of panic seemed to stretch out into an eternity. Once I met some kind of being who taught me a mantra to calm myself during these intense experiences. It told me "shhhhhh" and to repeat it over and over to calm my thoughts. Works every time. The god of the underworld part was kinda cool, I understand it might feel dark but it could have its benefits lol
 
Thnx guys your responses help me a lot in.making sense out of this deeply impactfull experience
It's hard to talk with people about this who never done Dmt and or only believe in the material world

I didn't expect death to be so alive.
 
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