StormsEnd
Rising Star
This is my first post, and seemed like the only place in existence that could possibly have anyone that might understand.
A few minutes ago, I took the plunge. I am so baffled by what just happened even though I can barely remember only fragments of it. I have read many trip reports and was very excited to take a journey in to hyperspace and see all the things and meet all the creatures.
I did not weigh out the dose of spice that I put in to a glass pipe, I just took two large hits. I think this was a mistake. A few seconds after holding and exhaling that second toke, I was being transported. I saw only a few seconds of the intense, alien language manifested as light and sound. But then I was obliterated. Smeared, deconstructed, tumbling, utterly confused. I was trying to remember what had happened but could not, then I saw myself and could not distinguish myself from my father or mother or anything else. I was dead and there was no time or space or anything at all. There was this idea that was somehow imparted in to my own knowledge that I was dead. I glimpsed the void and all I could feel was terror. I remember desperately seeking something of solace out of pure instinct, there was no higher function available. I do remember seeing many dimensions.
With all of these scary things being said, I am very glad it happened. It was literally the most terrifying thing that can happen to a person, and I am still okay. This is a classic case of the death of the ego, total dissociation. But in a way it was more than that, a glimpse in to what it is like to be formless. I am all but certain that I blasted my way completely past the light show of hyperspace and went to the formless, endless void. It was not cold or innately frightening, it was just the panic that the lizard brain goes through when it senses mortal peril. And the disorientation, that was what surprised me the most. A total lack of directionality.
As I first began to cross in to the void, I was trying to remember that it was all okay and wasn't going to last long at all, but then I lost access to that information and began to panic. I am pretty sure that's just the way it goes; you don't get to keep anything when you go that far.
.. after some unknown (but brief) time, I was laying on my back on my floor. I was staring at an object on my ceiling that revealed itself to be a light fixture, though it gave me the impression of an elephant head dividing in to itself over and over. It was beautiful.
After all of this, I still don't really know what just happened to me. I don't know what that was, or how it is possible. Anyone else been through anything like this? I'd be eager to get your thoughts/experiences.
A few minutes ago, I took the plunge. I am so baffled by what just happened even though I can barely remember only fragments of it. I have read many trip reports and was very excited to take a journey in to hyperspace and see all the things and meet all the creatures.
I did not weigh out the dose of spice that I put in to a glass pipe, I just took two large hits. I think this was a mistake. A few seconds after holding and exhaling that second toke, I was being transported. I saw only a few seconds of the intense, alien language manifested as light and sound. But then I was obliterated. Smeared, deconstructed, tumbling, utterly confused. I was trying to remember what had happened but could not, then I saw myself and could not distinguish myself from my father or mother or anything else. I was dead and there was no time or space or anything at all. There was this idea that was somehow imparted in to my own knowledge that I was dead. I glimpsed the void and all I could feel was terror. I remember desperately seeking something of solace out of pure instinct, there was no higher function available. I do remember seeing many dimensions.
With all of these scary things being said, I am very glad it happened. It was literally the most terrifying thing that can happen to a person, and I am still okay. This is a classic case of the death of the ego, total dissociation. But in a way it was more than that, a glimpse in to what it is like to be formless. I am all but certain that I blasted my way completely past the light show of hyperspace and went to the formless, endless void. It was not cold or innately frightening, it was just the panic that the lizard brain goes through when it senses mortal peril. And the disorientation, that was what surprised me the most. A total lack of directionality.
As I first began to cross in to the void, I was trying to remember that it was all okay and wasn't going to last long at all, but then I lost access to that information and began to panic. I am pretty sure that's just the way it goes; you don't get to keep anything when you go that far.
.. after some unknown (but brief) time, I was laying on my back on my floor. I was staring at an object on my ceiling that revealed itself to be a light fixture, though it gave me the impression of an elephant head dividing in to itself over and over. It was beautiful.
After all of this, I still don't really know what just happened to me. I don't know what that was, or how it is possible. Anyone else been through anything like this? I'd be eager to get your thoughts/experiences.
