• Members of the previous forum can retrieve their temporary password here, (login and check your PM).

I feel like I'm going crazy!

Migrated topic.
fractalmatter

fractalmatter

Rising Star
In one of my dmt trips I was shown what I believed to be my future in this lifetime. Some deity was communicating to me what was going to happen & it was positive & It seemed Sooo real, like a direct message from God. It felt like the realist thing I've ever experienced. During communication I was even shown visions.After I came back, I thought wow that's got to be the truth, there's no way that I could ever be convinced otherwise. . But, this is my issue. My reality at the moment couldn't seem further from my vision. The person I was shown to be living out my life with in my vision is completely resisting me & ignoring me.Its like since my trip I've been trying to create or I guess take steps toward making it happen but all my efforts are being rejected. So I'm starting to become extremely confused & feel delusional & im starting to doubt all of my experiences I've ever had as just some "dream" with no meaning.

I've always been a spiritual person, and directly after all my trips it made me even more so. But now that time has passed and I'm losing hope in my visions actually being a real indication of my future..now I'm starting to doubt everything I've ever believed. For the first time it has crossed my mind, maybe this is just some brain chemical misfire etc. like the skeptics try & say, but my experiences just seem so real!!! Like realer than this life! So, there's always this small voice in the back of my head saying "be patient, your vision is coming true". So I truly don't know how to live my life now. Even on my rare occasion shroom trips it's the same type theme trying to show me the same thing. I'm going nuts. I feel completely delusional. Someone help!

P.S I know someone will say time for a break from psychedelics, just for the record, I haven't tripped in over 3 months.
 
Perhaps there is a roadblock hiding unobserved in your consciousness that needs to be integrated before that future is allowed to unfold. Via a more gentle psychedelic tool ie Meditation or other forms that anchor you to the present. I get the sense you have a busy mind?
 
I wish I could unsee everything. Yes, I have a very active mind. Im very analytical. I should try to meditate..
 
Everyone sees stuff on psychedelics, and most of us have trouble reliably predicting the future. That's normal, so don't worry, you aren't crazy at all. (Unless you drive yourself mad with existential anxiety.)

Anything you see or are communicated during a trip needs to be taken with a grain of doubt. It's possible that the next thing you need to learn is to let go of your feeling of certainty and exceptionality.

The humility of being able to say "I have no idea" is essential to staying sane and grounded.
 
I would, but I'm scared the same theme will be there still. I think sphorange is right. I need to integrate more. As much research I've done into psychedelics, I take them very seriously. I do believe they are a tool to connect to a higher existence & that the information given shouldn't be taken lightly. There is no time perception in the spiritual realms so if I tripped again & this same theme occurred I think it might just send me over the edge, coming back & this being my reality. I need time to meditate & integrate. Patience is key.
 
One thing to keep in mind is that the goals & life you wish to achieve may be very ambitious and/or take time to get to.

What was it you saw in your vision & how have you been going about making it happen for yourself?

Sometimes the message you are receiving takes alot of time & work to propperly integrate & the more ambitious you are with the goals you set, the more time it takes to bring them together in a way that puts you where you want to be. Building good habbits, breaking old ones, & changing the way you live is no easy task. It builds on itself & given adequate time you should be able to make progress & see positive changes a little at a time.
 
Psycduckmonkey, that's the problem I can't completely let go of the feeling of absolutely certainty, thats what's driving me crazy! I have no control over these feelings, it's like I'm just an observer & perceiver of my feelings. I can't shake them, or change them ever. Can you? If so, how were you able to get to the point where you could control & actually change how you feel? And yes I have extreme anxiety.
 
fractalmatter said:
For the first time it has crossed my mind, maybe this is just some brain chemical misfire etc. like the skeptics try & say, but my experiences just seem so real!!! Like realer than this life! So, there's always this small voice in the back of my head saying "be patient, your vision is coming true". So I truly don't know how to live my life now. Even on my rare occasion shroom trips it's the same type theme trying to show me the same thing. I'm going nuts. I feel completely delusional. Someone help!
Click to expand...


You paint it as if you have only two ways of interpreting your vision: Either it's completely real, and you saw your actual future - or - It's just chemical nonsense screwing with your head. Perhaps it reflects an alternate reality or a mere possibility (i.e. you could have this future if you do all the "right" things). Also DMT can be very symbolic, so instead of just showing you "hey, buddy: this is your future," it could have been dressing up a symbolic scene in familiar garb, perhaps making you more likely to pay attention or enriching the symbols with personal meaning.
 
Wow Global, you are so right. A lot of my ways of thinking seem to be a paradox. I usually believe one thing or another to an extreme and sometimes a little of both at the same time. With this situation I feel like my heart, my soul, my essence know the truth and my human is having doubts so it's a battle. I understand what you're saying about the symbolic interpretations of the experience. This was different, when it comes to this particular subject it has been very clear & it's odd because I never expected something like this to happen because usually the trips are too weird or too foreign or confusing to put ANY meaning to them. I mean I've had some pretty crazy trips with a few being dark and by no means do I take every little thing literal. But, for some reason this one thing was very clear.
 
I guess in reality only time will tell. I truly believe nothing is impossible. I hope my visions do come true & believing they will gives me hope. If they don't I seriously might lose all hope in there being a God. It just seems like this is my purpose & meant to be.
 
fractalmatter said:
like the skeptics try & say, but my experiences just seem so real!!! Like realer than this life!
Click to expand...
Ah, yes. That dilemma. Skeptics are great, I love them, I am one for the most part. Yet always keep in mind basic principles of epistemology: how do we know what we know?

For example: I imagine you are scrolling through a web page now on a desktop computer or a mobile device, right now. Tell me: are really reading my post, or is it just a dream? I know you're thinking "Oh don't be silly, obviously I'm not dreaming." But don't jump to conclusions. Stop for a second and really think about it. ARE YOU DREAMING RIGHT NOW, OR NOT?

In movies people pinch themselves to check if they are dreaming; but I've never known anybody to actually do that. Instead the ego performs a kind of check, focusing its attention this way and that, making sure that all of the parts are operational, and then it concludes "this is real." I call it the "dream test." If you ask the most hardened skeptic whether or not this a dream right now, they will dismiss the notion as being silly, and yet offer no evidence beyond "obviously it's not, I can just tell to the bottom of being, it's clearly not a dream!"

There lies the horns of the dilemma. When you are high on DMT you can (sometimes) perform the dream-test — and indeed, there's no time when you crave that test more! And when you do it, inevitably you conclude that it's not a dream. So by the "dream-test" standards the DMT world is real; or if you want to call it a fantasy then the world is likewise a fantasy.
 
Although dmt is very magical, I really don't think that it can predict our future. It can most definitely show us POSSIBILITIES for our future and the ways to help get there, as well as show us things from past lives. If anything, it sounds like the dmt was showing you one possible future and maybe even how to get there, but it is still up to you to make it a reality. We are in control of our own reality and we have the power to make it into what we want, but it takes time and hard work. You are in control.
 
fractalmatter said:
Psycduckmonkey, that's the problem I can't completely let go of the feeling of absolutely certainty, thats what's driving me crazy! I have no control over these feelings, it's like I'm just an observer & perceiver of my feelings.
Click to expand...
Well, you could at least try. If you keep insisting that you are unable to control your feelings, then you are actively making it so.

fractalmatter said:
I can't shake them, or change them ever. Can you? If so, how were you able to get to the point where you could control & actually change how you feel? And yes I have extreme anxiety.
Click to expand...
My feeling is that you are for some reason desperate for something solid to grab on, and your issues come from the potential loss of this solid ground you feel have found in your DMT experiences. This in itself is a really nasty trap you led yourself into.

If anything, you should try to find out the root cause of your anxiety. Is there some assertion about reality you heard that you are desperate to reject?

You should try to realize that anything you are afraid of (complete death? a purely material existence? Christian hell? etc.) is not in an either-or relationship with you meeting The Actual God in your trips and being show Actual Prophetic Visions. You could have met some random crazy who decided to show you random crazy stuff. Even if the DMT experience is pure biochemistry, it doesn't equate to the reductionists being right either.

Also, relax. Read the Principia Discordia, too. You're taking yourself far too seriously. That is never healthy, but on psychedelics it can be downright deadly.
 
I would probably stop short of calling you delusional, but I do think your story points to a pretty clear lack of critical thinking.

You're not alone in this. A lot of people seem to look to the psychedelic experience in general (and DMT in particular) as a means of confirmation bias. With no rational means of explaining their experiences, the believer in alien abductions will say here you go, here is proof positive that aliens do exist. I had this experience, it was "realer than real", and now I know I was right all along. People will spot synchronicities everywhere, and take that as proof of the magic and mysticism they knew was all around to begin with. Conspiracy theorists find ways of appropriating it to their own ends, as do fairy enthusiasts, the grief stricken after the loss of a loved one, and so on and so on and so on. For the most part, these are people who have been somewhat marginalized by their belief systems maybe all their lives. They hear of this mysterious substance that opens a portal to another dimension, try it out for themselves, and BAM - they are instantly provided with unquestionable proof of what they already knew to be true.

Your situation is even stranger though (to me at least), because for me the experience is so abstract, inscrutable and devoid of any autobiographical material whatsoever, that to take any kind of linear message away from it (like seeing your future with the mate you believe to be your destiny) just smacks of wishful thinking. I think you should ask yourself why some deity from another dimension would care who you spend your life with. I would take the fact that this person is resisting and ignoring you to mean that she's maybe just not into it.

The DMT experience is an amazing thing, and it's certainly full of magic. But a crystal ball/oracle of love is really just something it's not. It won't tell you your future, let you read your cat's mind or deliver a winning lotto number. It is what it is, and what it is is enough. Perhaps it's you who is asking too much from it.
 
The visions that you see on any substance are purely fiction. It is the brain going full throttle on creativity.

I've seen many, many visions on psychedelics. In my mindblowing trip on ganja, I was transported to the futuristic world that looked like this.

mass_effect_3_citadel_dreamscene_2_by_droot1986-d4sqwfe.jpg


I was walking around this place, just taking it all in. I was in awe. To an outsider, I was just standing in my mate's backyard, totally spaced out. It felt more real than real. But does it make it real? Of course not. Our gateway to the real world is through perception. "The Doors of Perception" are the senses. When my senses where circumvented by the ganja, the real world was not computing any more. I was only seeing what the herbs were showing me. It was an awesome trip, but it wasn't real. The brain is everything.
 
fractalmatter,

this is what I want to say. Do not doubt or lose hope in that vision.

In this book that I read, 'Creating the Universe' by Travis Bodik, he goes into how to meditate deeply, rewire the synapses in the brain and to fall in love with the who we want to be and it will manifest. It will become reality. I highly suggest it.
 
Bodhisativa said:
The visions that you see on any substance are purely fiction. It is the brain going full throttle on creativity.
...
I was only seeing what the herbs were showing me. It was an awesome trip, but it wasn't real. The brain is everything.
Click to expand...
I'm pretty sure that presenting a polar opposite, and in no way more substantiable view to the Op's phantasmagoria won't help.

Also, I don't follow your reasoning. Your post was nonsequitur, similar to me saying "Yesterday I had this awesome chicken dinner at my Mom's, the meat was totally tender and tasted awesome. Therefore chickens are mammals."
 
PsyDuckmonkey said:
Bodhisativa said:
The visions that you see on any substance are purely fiction. It is the brain going full throttle on creativity.
...
I was only seeing what the herbs were showing me. It was an awesome trip, but it wasn't real. The brain is everything.
Click to expand...
I'm pretty sure that presenting a polar opposite, and in no way more substantiable view to the Op's phantasmagoria won't help.

Also, I don't follow your reasoning. Your post was nonsequitur, similar to me saying "Yesterday I had this awesome chicken dinner at my Mom's, the meat was totally tender and tasted awesome. Therefore chickens are mammals."
Click to expand...

Polar opposite? Quite the contrary. All I said was a psychedelic vision is all in the mind. The OP's post described seeing the future, which has also happened to me. So I posted a short summary of a vision that I saw of the future. The sequence of events that led to my vision were not abstract and followed a linear progression that made sense, so I guess there's the dissimilarity (but I do not know the full story of the OP's vision). Even if my vision made sense, it's not real. At least, not yet. That's the attitude I have towards that vision, "It's nice if it happens, but it isn't set in stone". Here's the full trip report. I had a mindblowing breakthrough on ganja. - Open Discussion - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus

I can see why the final brain quote could be misconstrued as non sequitur, but it was a part of the larger argument. That is, that the mind is responsible for everything that we think of. Interpretation of the real and unreal worlds happens in the mind. It's important not to confuse the two, which I believe is what the OP is doing. I probably should have segued smoother into that point, but I felt that my point was clear. I guess it wasn't, so I hope I clarified it here.
 
Bodhisativa said:
The visions that you see on any substance are purely fiction. It is the brain going full throttle on creativity.
Click to expand...
What makes you so sure of this?

I like to keep an open mind myself, mostly because I know I can't be 100% sure of anything.

It's like hardcore atheists who say that the idea of god is impossible. You can believe, or not believe. You can think one option is more likely than the other. All of these are valid opinions, but you can not be certain. It's impossible. You're just not in a position to know for sure.

For anyone who has taken the time to consider the possible options, the only reasonable answer to these questions, is "I don't know".
 
Back
Top Bottom