joebono
Rising Star
My parents have been married for over 40 years and they are in their sixties. The past ten years they have been in retirement and their marriage has been having problems. My father has become verbally and on occasion physically abusive to my Mom and they are on the verge of divorce. My Dad has some deep seated issues stemming from his childhood that have made him controlling, hurtful to my Mom, and cruel. He readily admits that he behaves in a way that he is ashamed of, but says that he can’t control it.
Recently I told my Mom about my psychedelic usage and her reaction was one of surprise and fear. She knows these drugs have the potential to inflict harm if one goes down the rabbit hole too often, but she also knows that there are purported healing benefits associated with them too. Neither of my parents do drugs, they smoked weed a few times back in the 60s or 70s and that was it. When she called me today and said she wants my father to try a psychedelic, I thought he would be a perfect candidate to allow oral DMT to break down the barriers and walls that he has hidden behind in order to get some perspective on his cruel actions and behavior.
I gave him 100mg of Caapi Copy, 100mg of Syrian rue harmala alkaloids, and 106mg of yellow freebase DMT. Within fifteen minutes he was feeling strange and was soon writhing and jerking around on the bed, begging for it to stop. He was saying how this was the worst thing he ever did and how he wanted it to end. His eyes would open and glare and then he would shut them. He kept saying how he wanted to take a nap and this went on for an hour or so. Eventually he started apologizing for everything bad that he ever did and told us that he just wants everything to be perfect again. We went outside in the yard for a change of scenery, but this did little to calm him down. He was having a bad trip.
After a while we went on the couch and he began talking about his childhood, the marriage, and how he treats my Mom. I don’t know if any of this was new material for my Mom to hear, but at least he calmed down and was able to focus. I sat on the floor as my parents talked and had some laughs and some tender moments. I played their wedding song, Strangers in the Night, and it was pretty emotional. It was an experience.
Anyway, he says he will never do it again and that it was a terrible experience. He thinks we’re bunch of fucking nuts because we actually get pleasure from this crazy shit. I think that he did not like the loss of control, the loss of power. I think that he did not want to face some of the ideas that the DMT was trying to show him. He had no visuals, no euphoria, nothing pleasurable at all. Also, I think his total trip was only about two hours, and this is odd because my trips last five or six hours. He fought it tooth and nail. The physical reaction he had was kind of scary with all the writhing and jerking around. Anyway, I wonder if my Mom and I should try to get him to do it again in two weeks. Will more trips eventually break him down and make him face his demons? I don’t want him to have a heart attack, but I wonder if there is hope in our psychedelic therapy.
Recently I told my Mom about my psychedelic usage and her reaction was one of surprise and fear. She knows these drugs have the potential to inflict harm if one goes down the rabbit hole too often, but she also knows that there are purported healing benefits associated with them too. Neither of my parents do drugs, they smoked weed a few times back in the 60s or 70s and that was it. When she called me today and said she wants my father to try a psychedelic, I thought he would be a perfect candidate to allow oral DMT to break down the barriers and walls that he has hidden behind in order to get some perspective on his cruel actions and behavior.
I gave him 100mg of Caapi Copy, 100mg of Syrian rue harmala alkaloids, and 106mg of yellow freebase DMT. Within fifteen minutes he was feeling strange and was soon writhing and jerking around on the bed, begging for it to stop. He was saying how this was the worst thing he ever did and how he wanted it to end. His eyes would open and glare and then he would shut them. He kept saying how he wanted to take a nap and this went on for an hour or so. Eventually he started apologizing for everything bad that he ever did and told us that he just wants everything to be perfect again. We went outside in the yard for a change of scenery, but this did little to calm him down. He was having a bad trip.
After a while we went on the couch and he began talking about his childhood, the marriage, and how he treats my Mom. I don’t know if any of this was new material for my Mom to hear, but at least he calmed down and was able to focus. I sat on the floor as my parents talked and had some laughs and some tender moments. I played their wedding song, Strangers in the Night, and it was pretty emotional. It was an experience.
Anyway, he says he will never do it again and that it was a terrible experience. He thinks we’re bunch of fucking nuts because we actually get pleasure from this crazy shit. I think that he did not like the loss of control, the loss of power. I think that he did not want to face some of the ideas that the DMT was trying to show him. He had no visuals, no euphoria, nothing pleasurable at all. Also, I think his total trip was only about two hours, and this is odd because my trips last five or six hours. He fought it tooth and nail. The physical reaction he had was kind of scary with all the writhing and jerking around. Anyway, I wonder if my Mom and I should try to get him to do it again in two weeks. Will more trips eventually break him down and make him face his demons? I don’t want him to have a heart attack, but I wonder if there is hope in our psychedelic therapy.
