Actually, she gave it to me about ten months ago, but I was too stupid to understand what she was saying.
I've been dealing with severe progressive neurological issues following a respiratory infection in March 2020. I have headaches that have literally made me scream out of nowhere, I forget how to write, or how to talk, or spoken English sounds like a foreign language (though my second language is fine), I randomly go deaf, I forget where I live, get lost at the grocery store, experience one sided or facial numbness. When I play the piano, my left hand will play sheet music in the wrong key, as the opposite clef, or even play entire melody lines backwards. Sometimes I get dyslexic and see numbers upside down.
Plus a whole bunch of other horrible things (my heart is involved), but something incredibly screwed up is going on. I'm not intending this as a pity party, this is just the mess I've been trying to navigate.
So this is why I started drinking Ayahuasca again. She hasn't cured me, but she is the only other thing besides IV steroids that has helped. After dosing, my symptoms turn off like a light switch. This effect lasts for 96 hours, down to the second. As long as I continue to redose on time, I will not have a resurgence of symptoms, as long as I don't overexert myself. Lifting a bag of kitty litter counts as overexerting myself.
The only thing keeping me off disability at the moment is Aya. The only reason I can remember where I live, feel emotion, or follow a sentence when someone is talking to me is because I am loaded on jungle magic. I have actually been able to return to work and work part time, thanks to jungle magic. Avoiding becoming a burden on my family is an understated magic trick.
Peter Gorman says basically if there is no way you could have imagined what you saw in your vision, it's a legit vision. I've had a few of these over the months, which have involved entities healing things, or being instructed about how to find herbs to help certain things. I will share reports about these later, I've been meaning to for a while.
But tonight, the new moon in Scorpio...
The very first time I drank Aya after getting sick, she took me to a wall of switches. There were hands everywhere, moving and doing mudras. I had the sense it was extremely important and a master control panel to something, but I had no idea what it meant. She showed it to me on numerous occasions since then.
Once you drink Aya enough to get your personal BS out of the way, I now believe there is no such thing as a random vision - if it seems nonsensical, we are probably just too stupid to understand what we're being told. There is a learning curve to this. It has happened many times. If a plant had to tell you something without speaking, how would they transmit that information to you?
She took me back to the switchboard tonight. Switches everywhere. Every switch had either a hand or a foot. All the hands and feet were doing things like flexing, opening and closing, they were all performing a binary series of different movements.
Then this skull came along. It was supposed to be a human head, but it didn't finish developing. The forehead was bone, skin was peeling off the face, I could see the veins and the muscle where the flesh was just falling off.
It went to the wall and started eating the hand. It absent mindedly, emotionlessly started chewing the fingers, eating them the way a cow would stand and chew grass. My gut reaction to this was WTF NO NO THIS IS WRONG THIS ISN'T RIGHT THIS IS DISGUSTING WTF. I cannot adequately express the horror and distress that witnessing CANNIBALISM feels like.
And then it occurred to me.
These are my motor neurons.
Something inside me has gone mad and is cannibalizing itself.
And what type of diseases does cannibalism cause? What a black omen.
I am going to diet hymenaea courbaril (rich in fisetin and does not grow mold) and brunfelsia grandiflora (chiricaspi). Both other visions of mine and pubmed would suggest these plants are probably my best shot. I am going to pair this with a juice fast and juice the hell out of anything rich in apigenin. I'm going to treat this fast like a full shamanic dieta and go all the way. I am growing mushrooms, growing salvia, and going to get some 5meo (gulp) to see if I can blast this zombie apocalypse out of my body.
I have yet to meet a neurologist that doesn't blame me for my symptoms and shuts the door in my face, because it's complicated and they don't know, so, FLUSH.
So plants it is. I haven't given up on getting help, by the way, but I suspect I'll look like the Cryptkeeper before I find a willing neurologist. Healthcare isn't always for everyone in some places, unless you are a rich, straight, white man. One neurologist asked me if I've considered eating more for breakfast.
There's also a horrific catch 22 with many autoimmune diseases, no one can do anything until your body has deteriorated to the point of showing damage at the macro level. So it's "sit here and rot until you rot substantially enough to determine which variety of rot you have, and now by the way, your body is rotten," but also, swift identification and treatment is essential to remission and retaining function.
I knew things were bad, but wasn't 100% sure what was happening. This is really something to digest, because I finally caught it red handed, lights on, pants down.
Now I know what I'm up against, anyway.
I've been dealing with severe progressive neurological issues following a respiratory infection in March 2020. I have headaches that have literally made me scream out of nowhere, I forget how to write, or how to talk, or spoken English sounds like a foreign language (though my second language is fine), I randomly go deaf, I forget where I live, get lost at the grocery store, experience one sided or facial numbness. When I play the piano, my left hand will play sheet music in the wrong key, as the opposite clef, or even play entire melody lines backwards. Sometimes I get dyslexic and see numbers upside down.
Plus a whole bunch of other horrible things (my heart is involved), but something incredibly screwed up is going on. I'm not intending this as a pity party, this is just the mess I've been trying to navigate.
So this is why I started drinking Ayahuasca again. She hasn't cured me, but she is the only other thing besides IV steroids that has helped. After dosing, my symptoms turn off like a light switch. This effect lasts for 96 hours, down to the second. As long as I continue to redose on time, I will not have a resurgence of symptoms, as long as I don't overexert myself. Lifting a bag of kitty litter counts as overexerting myself.
The only thing keeping me off disability at the moment is Aya. The only reason I can remember where I live, feel emotion, or follow a sentence when someone is talking to me is because I am loaded on jungle magic. I have actually been able to return to work and work part time, thanks to jungle magic. Avoiding becoming a burden on my family is an understated magic trick.
Peter Gorman says basically if there is no way you could have imagined what you saw in your vision, it's a legit vision. I've had a few of these over the months, which have involved entities healing things, or being instructed about how to find herbs to help certain things. I will share reports about these later, I've been meaning to for a while.
But tonight, the new moon in Scorpio...
The very first time I drank Aya after getting sick, she took me to a wall of switches. There were hands everywhere, moving and doing mudras. I had the sense it was extremely important and a master control panel to something, but I had no idea what it meant. She showed it to me on numerous occasions since then.
Once you drink Aya enough to get your personal BS out of the way, I now believe there is no such thing as a random vision - if it seems nonsensical, we are probably just too stupid to understand what we're being told. There is a learning curve to this. It has happened many times. If a plant had to tell you something without speaking, how would they transmit that information to you?
She took me back to the switchboard tonight. Switches everywhere. Every switch had either a hand or a foot. All the hands and feet were doing things like flexing, opening and closing, they were all performing a binary series of different movements.
Then this skull came along. It was supposed to be a human head, but it didn't finish developing. The forehead was bone, skin was peeling off the face, I could see the veins and the muscle where the flesh was just falling off.
It went to the wall and started eating the hand. It absent mindedly, emotionlessly started chewing the fingers, eating them the way a cow would stand and chew grass. My gut reaction to this was WTF NO NO THIS IS WRONG THIS ISN'T RIGHT THIS IS DISGUSTING WTF. I cannot adequately express the horror and distress that witnessing CANNIBALISM feels like.
And then it occurred to me.
These are my motor neurons.
Something inside me has gone mad and is cannibalizing itself.
And what type of diseases does cannibalism cause? What a black omen.
I am going to diet hymenaea courbaril (rich in fisetin and does not grow mold) and brunfelsia grandiflora (chiricaspi). Both other visions of mine and pubmed would suggest these plants are probably my best shot. I am going to pair this with a juice fast and juice the hell out of anything rich in apigenin. I'm going to treat this fast like a full shamanic dieta and go all the way. I am growing mushrooms, growing salvia, and going to get some 5meo (gulp) to see if I can blast this zombie apocalypse out of my body.
I have yet to meet a neurologist that doesn't blame me for my symptoms and shuts the door in my face, because it's complicated and they don't know, so, FLUSH.
So plants it is. I haven't given up on getting help, by the way, but I suspect I'll look like the Cryptkeeper before I find a willing neurologist. Healthcare isn't always for everyone in some places, unless you are a rich, straight, white man. One neurologist asked me if I've considered eating more for breakfast.
There's also a horrific catch 22 with many autoimmune diseases, no one can do anything until your body has deteriorated to the point of showing damage at the macro level. So it's "sit here and rot until you rot substantially enough to determine which variety of rot you have, and now by the way, your body is rotten," but also, swift identification and treatment is essential to remission and retaining function.
I knew things were bad, but wasn't 100% sure what was happening. This is really something to digest, because I finally caught it red handed, lights on, pants down.
Now I know what I'm up against, anyway.
, meaning they can have some heart but not allowing them to hostage the heart, as an intention.
