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I need some spiritual guidance please!

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Rising Star
Hi. Last thing I want to do is put my personal business on the internet but I had a terrible DMT experience last night and I need the help of some enlightened and elevated minds.

I was in a relationship with a girl but we've been having serious problems for the past year. She's been in and out of the relationship but it stopped on my end a long time ago. I met my twin flame and left the other girl. You can't deny your twin flame. Period. Yes, I am 100% sure she is my twin flame. That's not the question.

I had a tarot reading by a professional who I met through David Icke so she's not some gypsy off the streets. She didn't even ask me any questions, just started a "general reading" and answered every question I have without asking. She told me I was dealing with two people, the old one is a "Queen of Swords" denoting a very vindictive and hateful "Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde" personality and the new one is the "Princess of Cups" denoting a very pure and true personality with no ill intent. I illustrate this simply to paint a better picture.

I told the Queen of Swords about a month ago that we had to part paths. She acted completely understanding but worried about her well being. I said I would help her any way I could, continue paying her bills and car payment until she found a job and give her a few thousand dollars to help her when she moves back to her parents house. She seemed to understand.

We were going to arrange for her to move her stuff to her parents one day last week. I woke up and she took off with my work van and about $50,000 worth of equipment. She left her truck, which was mine but in her name because our agreement was I would make the payments and I have (early for that matter). Plus I put a large down payment on it, but that's a different story.

Her friend has been wanting to start a business and they've been talking about it for the past several weeks. So my equipment was stolen in order to start her friends business. I've been trying to be respectful to her fathers wishes of not pressing charges but it's been a week of him telling me I'm going to get my stuff back with nothing. In fact she broke into my property, broke the chain off the gate and took off with her truck. She came back the other night and tried to get into the house but we were home. I'm a prisoner in my home, chains on the gates, doors locked, etc. etc.

Yesterday I get a call from the equipment manufacturer saying they're having trouble pulling the invoices as requested by my company. I explained the situation and he told me she was in there with her friend (the one who was going to start the business) asking for receipts for the equipment. That was the straw that broke the camels back and made me realize she has no intent to return the van or equipment.

I took a trip last night and it was HORRIBLE. I couldn't break through. I couldn't go anywhere. I had this black cloud of bad energy swirling in my body and I meditated before the trip and pictures it coming out in deep breathes. Lately I've been trying to kill my ego with my trips and shed my old self. But it's like the universe was bounding me even tighter with my ego last night as if to say "hey, you can't be the opposite extreme, you have to find the balance".

I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. On one hand, I'm being eaten alive by the audacity of this girl taking my means of survival. I can't deal with this negative energy anymore! It's built up to the point to where it's effecting my spiritual well being.

On the other hand I can't ignore it. I think last night the universe was trying to tell me I have to go ahead and press charges on her. She was stopped in the work van and she talked herself out of it by claiming to be my wife and now divorced so the police were fooled into thinking it's a civil issue. The officers I reported it to however are ready to pursue criminal charges and they are ready to go full force, third degree felony.

I've been worried about the karmic repercussions about putting someone in jail like that, especially someone I cared about. But in trying to kill my ego I'm killing my soul. Last night I felt a complete disconnection, but not from my body, from my spirit and from my twin flame. I couldn't feel her love, I couldn't feel her spirit, it was complete numbness. It was a dark and lonely place I went to although for a brief moment I was privileged to this space of complex geometric patterns and total peace and serenity. But the love was gone. The feelings were gone. My spirit was gone.

What would infinite consciousness do? What would the enlightened mind do? Combating ego with infinite consciousness and a higher elevated mind feels like a Como dragon vs. a puppy dog. I have no ill intention. I simply want to balance everything out.

Thanks for listening and for your replies.
shitty situation you are in..

I would say the first thing to do is, if possible to confront her face to face! Not talking to her father or anything, but finding her and going to her straight and saying that you want it back, that you dont want to give her problems or her to give you problems...

Make it VERY clear to her that, first of all, if she gives back your stuff you wont do anything, but if she doesnt, then you will have no other choice then to press charges and that she would be the one bringing this onto herself..

(or stealth mode steal your stuff back from her and set up some security cameras in case she tries to come back so then you have some proper evidence against her if things turn ugly)

I dont know, just some thoughts.. All the best for you
Fisrt off..sorry your your loss my friend. I can't imagine how dificult that could be.

All I can say is that If I were in your shoes..I would be focussing on me. You seem to be quite concious and caring for others..worrying about the welfare of this girl even though she basically tried to screw you.

Sometimes we need to realize that WE are just as important as others..I think the ego tries to grasp onto many differnt things..sometimes things we wouldn't even expect..sometimes we put ourselves last and that as well can be dangerous and maybe even strengthen the ego.

The DMT trip you had..I couldnt tell you what it was about..only you can really figure that one out..but it seems you have some dark energy you are holding onto comming from SOMEWHERE..maybe you just need to give yourself the space you deserve to get on with things and do what you feel you need to do without letting guilt get in the way.

It seems this woman did not have much of a problem with screwing you over...and by pressing charges as a last resort when you treid to be civil do you really feel you are screwing her over?..
I have been in a simmilar situation as well, though not as bad as yours.
There is no answer, realy.
The biggest challenge in life is to remain a positive human being, even when you're confronted with much negativity.

So the first thing i would say is that you must at all times face the situation you're in without disconnecting from yourself. You can't help feeling negative things sometimes and there is no reason to feel ashamed of them as it happens.

If this girl you're with truly is your twin-flame, as you call it, then you can be completely transparant to her about what's happening and how that makes you feel. and she must then be able to be completely transparant two.

For the 'queen of swords' i would say, you must be able to be transparant two. It seems she is acting out of a low self-esteem, low on personal power, situation.
Make it clear that you are willing to help her, but that there is a reasonable limit to the weight you can bear. As well financially as emotionally.

Offer a reasonable arrangement.Try to persuade her to seek help for her problems, because it sounds like she needs therapy. If she refuses it's her decission.

It seems as if she sort of wants you to buy her out of this. You can best judge for yourself if that's something you can live with financially or emotionally.

If she's not willing to have a reasonable and fair discussion, then it all comes down to how much weight you are willing and able to bear.
If there happens to be a limit to that, then ofcourse this doesn't feel great. But it's not your fault and it shouldn't get in the way with your private life, your amotional, spiritual and social functioning.
wow man im sorry to hear that as well. Life throws things our way sometimes that seem unsurmountable but in the end its for our souls unfoldment. We need this crap to grow. Like others have said, talk to her, make it clear, "I want my shit back and thats it". Though at this point it seems to be worse than that, the cops might have to get involved. A vehicle alone is bad enough, but with all your work tools too, thats just overboard. Getting someone sent to jail or in trouble has nothing to do with your karmic debt. She made the decision to take what was not hers, she will reap what she sowed.
Thank you all for your kind and prompt replies. I imagine you guys are elevated consciousness because you are traveling the same spiritual path as I and have seen the other side as I. Your words really mean a lot to me and I'm going to meditate on everything you guys wrote.

Love and peace to you all.

Your welcome Spirit.
You know this place is great. Truly great. People can come forward and not feel ashamed or embarrassed and get nothing but support and help from friends across our dear planet. Other forums pale in comparison to this one, it just feels like home here.
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