SpiritWalker
Rising Star
Hi. Last thing I want to do is put my personal business on the internet but I had a terrible DMT experience last night and I need the help of some enlightened and elevated minds.
I was in a relationship with a girl but we've been having serious problems for the past year. She's been in and out of the relationship but it stopped on my end a long time ago. I met my twin flame and left the other girl. You can't deny your twin flame. Period. Yes, I am 100% sure she is my twin flame. That's not the question.
I had a tarot reading by a professional who I met through David Icke so she's not some gypsy off the streets. She didn't even ask me any questions, just started a "general reading" and answered every question I have without asking. She told me I was dealing with two people, the old one is a "Queen of Swords" denoting a very vindictive and hateful "Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde" personality and the new one is the "Princess of Cups" denoting a very pure and true personality with no ill intent. I illustrate this simply to paint a better picture.
I told the Queen of Swords about a month ago that we had to part paths. She acted completely understanding but worried about her well being. I said I would help her any way I could, continue paying her bills and car payment until she found a job and give her a few thousand dollars to help her when she moves back to her parents house. She seemed to understand.
We were going to arrange for her to move her stuff to her parents one day last week. I woke up and she took off with my work van and about $50,000 worth of equipment. She left her truck, which was mine but in her name because our agreement was I would make the payments and I have (early for that matter). Plus I put a large down payment on it, but that's a different story.
Her friend has been wanting to start a business and they've been talking about it for the past several weeks. So my equipment was stolen in order to start her friends business. I've been trying to be respectful to her fathers wishes of not pressing charges but it's been a week of him telling me I'm going to get my stuff back with nothing. In fact she broke into my property, broke the chain off the gate and took off with her truck. She came back the other night and tried to get into the house but we were home. I'm a prisoner in my home, chains on the gates, doors locked, etc. etc.
Yesterday I get a call from the equipment manufacturer saying they're having trouble pulling the invoices as requested by my company. I explained the situation and he told me she was in there with her friend (the one who was going to start the business) asking for receipts for the equipment. That was the straw that broke the camels back and made me realize she has no intent to return the van or equipment.
I took a trip last night and it was HORRIBLE. I couldn't break through. I couldn't go anywhere. I had this black cloud of bad energy swirling in my body and I meditated before the trip and pictures it coming out in deep breathes. Lately I've been trying to kill my ego with my trips and shed my old self. But it's like the universe was bounding me even tighter with my ego last night as if to say "hey, you can't be the opposite extreme, you have to find the balance".
I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. On one hand, I'm being eaten alive by the audacity of this girl taking my means of survival. I can't deal with this negative energy anymore! It's built up to the point to where it's effecting my spiritual well being.
On the other hand I can't ignore it. I think last night the universe was trying to tell me I have to go ahead and press charges on her. She was stopped in the work van and she talked herself out of it by claiming to be my wife and now divorced so the police were fooled into thinking it's a civil issue. The officers I reported it to however are ready to pursue criminal charges and they are ready to go full force, third degree felony.
I've been worried about the karmic repercussions about putting someone in jail like that, especially someone I cared about. But in trying to kill my ego I'm killing my soul. Last night I felt a complete disconnection, but not from my body, from my spirit and from my twin flame. I couldn't feel her love, I couldn't feel her spirit, it was complete numbness. It was a dark and lonely place I went to although for a brief moment I was privileged to this space of complex geometric patterns and total peace and serenity. But the love was gone. The feelings were gone. My spirit was gone.
What would infinite consciousness do? What would the enlightened mind do? Combating ego with infinite consciousness and a higher elevated mind feels like a Como dragon vs. a puppy dog. I have no ill intention. I simply want to balance everything out.
Thanks for listening and for your replies.
I was in a relationship with a girl but we've been having serious problems for the past year. She's been in and out of the relationship but it stopped on my end a long time ago. I met my twin flame and left the other girl. You can't deny your twin flame. Period. Yes, I am 100% sure she is my twin flame. That's not the question.
I had a tarot reading by a professional who I met through David Icke so she's not some gypsy off the streets. She didn't even ask me any questions, just started a "general reading" and answered every question I have without asking. She told me I was dealing with two people, the old one is a "Queen of Swords" denoting a very vindictive and hateful "Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde" personality and the new one is the "Princess of Cups" denoting a very pure and true personality with no ill intent. I illustrate this simply to paint a better picture.
I told the Queen of Swords about a month ago that we had to part paths. She acted completely understanding but worried about her well being. I said I would help her any way I could, continue paying her bills and car payment until she found a job and give her a few thousand dollars to help her when she moves back to her parents house. She seemed to understand.
We were going to arrange for her to move her stuff to her parents one day last week. I woke up and she took off with my work van and about $50,000 worth of equipment. She left her truck, which was mine but in her name because our agreement was I would make the payments and I have (early for that matter). Plus I put a large down payment on it, but that's a different story.
Her friend has been wanting to start a business and they've been talking about it for the past several weeks. So my equipment was stolen in order to start her friends business. I've been trying to be respectful to her fathers wishes of not pressing charges but it's been a week of him telling me I'm going to get my stuff back with nothing. In fact she broke into my property, broke the chain off the gate and took off with her truck. She came back the other night and tried to get into the house but we were home. I'm a prisoner in my home, chains on the gates, doors locked, etc. etc.
Yesterday I get a call from the equipment manufacturer saying they're having trouble pulling the invoices as requested by my company. I explained the situation and he told me she was in there with her friend (the one who was going to start the business) asking for receipts for the equipment. That was the straw that broke the camels back and made me realize she has no intent to return the van or equipment.
I took a trip last night and it was HORRIBLE. I couldn't break through. I couldn't go anywhere. I had this black cloud of bad energy swirling in my body and I meditated before the trip and pictures it coming out in deep breathes. Lately I've been trying to kill my ego with my trips and shed my old self. But it's like the universe was bounding me even tighter with my ego last night as if to say "hey, you can't be the opposite extreme, you have to find the balance".
I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. On one hand, I'm being eaten alive by the audacity of this girl taking my means of survival. I can't deal with this negative energy anymore! It's built up to the point to where it's effecting my spiritual well being.
On the other hand I can't ignore it. I think last night the universe was trying to tell me I have to go ahead and press charges on her. She was stopped in the work van and she talked herself out of it by claiming to be my wife and now divorced so the police were fooled into thinking it's a civil issue. The officers I reported it to however are ready to pursue criminal charges and they are ready to go full force, third degree felony.
I've been worried about the karmic repercussions about putting someone in jail like that, especially someone I cared about. But in trying to kill my ego I'm killing my soul. Last night I felt a complete disconnection, but not from my body, from my spirit and from my twin flame. I couldn't feel her love, I couldn't feel her spirit, it was complete numbness. It was a dark and lonely place I went to although for a brief moment I was privileged to this space of complex geometric patterns and total peace and serenity. But the love was gone. The feelings were gone. My spirit was gone.
What would infinite consciousness do? What would the enlightened mind do? Combating ego with infinite consciousness and a higher elevated mind feels like a Como dragon vs. a puppy dog. I have no ill intention. I simply want to balance everything out.
Thanks for listening and for your replies.
