I think i give up!

[The Yak]

I think i give up on "breaking through" i scared myself to death the other night and truly TRULY thought i had died and was dropping into hell! i came back to semi consciousness across the room from the bed where i had been lying down holding onto my dresser white knuckled and shaking like a leaf.I'm no pussy either im kinda the outlaw biker type of guy or i thought i was hehehee scared my ass TO DEATH LITERALLY!! OMG WAS THAT FREAKY!! I STARTED LAUGHING WHEN I REALIZED I WAS ALIVE AND IT WAS ONLY A SPICE EXPERIENCE! I started a voice recorder before i hit the 2 pipes side by side with 50 mg in each and it was that really pure stuff that grows and climbs up the side of the jar when recrystallizing! the whole thing lasted 28:21 !! lots of silence on the tape but lots of "its ok" its ok" its ok" its ok! a few times i yell out in a voice that doesnt even sound like me.I also say "OK OK I BELIEVE YOU!!!!" REAL LOUD! ALL I KNOW IS THAT IF I DIDNT FIND THIS PLACE WHERE IT SUPPOSEDLY GETS QUIET AND MORE OPEN WHERE YOU COULD ACTUALLY SEE ANYTHING LONG ENOUGH TO CALL IT AN ENTITY BY TAKING THOSE 2 GIANT 50 MG HITS I GIVE UP BECAUSE I AINT DYING AGAIN UNTIL ITS REALLY TIME!!!
All i can think of when im in there is "This has got to be some drug other than the dmt they are talking about because I CANT SEE ANYTHING BUT MASS CONFUSION!! lots of cool looking stuff flying around and sometimes weightlessness but to be able to see an "entity" in all that is totally impossible.I have devised a smoking method that shoves a 50 mg dose in your lung with the quickness in one lungful i call it "The cup of death" hehe i take copper brillo and roll up a ball a certain way so the strands are kinda paralell to each other so the oils can run down them more evenly and i pack my bong with a regular metal cone bowl full of the brillo and pack it in so its not hanging out at all then i take a sharpy marker or something with an end similar to the marker cap and i press a little cup indentation into the brillo to receive the spice then i melt it in and when i hit it i turn the bowl sideways so the oils dont get sucked through and WHAM you can get that whole 50 mg or lots more if you wanted to im sure in a short amount of puffing!! its almost too efficient it sent me to a place i NEVER EVER want to go to again.I'm almost turned off the thing completely now each time it has gotten more and more evil whereas the first time i tried it i was jumping for joy!!! i dont know wtf to think other than ITS GREAT TO BE ALIVE!!!

PS when i came to across the room and could see again i 100% expected to look over at the bed and see my body lying there but when i did the bed was empty! i was out of my body but wasnt wtf it TOTALLY felt like i was out of it and it was still on the bed!!! freakyyyyyyyy

i have attached the audio file in a .rar archive for anyone who wants to hear a bunch of silence sandwiched between a few minutes of speech coming out of a person who is rocketing towards hell hehe.

 

[rjb]

I really don't know what to say to this. You knew what you were getting into (or maybe not well enough, actually), you had trouble before, and yet you did 100mg just for the fun of it. Of course you were going to be shown some respect.

Why are you people hitting it so hard when you have NO CLUE about what the hell is gonna happen?! It's the 10th story of this kind I've read around the internet, and more and more people seem to be doing the same mistakes. Everyone starts somewhere, but not like that. I was also feeling brave before first smoking spice and I thought "well, what the hell, I'm gonna do 50mg and be done with it". Lucky me I had no idea how to vaporize the stuff correctly, and I ended up just taking a hit and then felt great panic immediately. After that first moment, I seriously reconsidered my approach to the spice (thought about what I felt and WHY I felt it, started meditation, thinking about my life, in other words I became aware) and then DMT has helped me understand things the right way. Still to this day I haven't broken through, and I have forgotten all about that. When I'm gonna be ready, it's gonna happen. In the meanwhile, I'll just "practice" (if you can even call it that; it feels to me more like learning one small step at a time).

 

[smokerx]

100mg ? wow man I am not surprised you get your ass kicked. Don't give up though just next time do it with respect my friend.

lesson learned

I agree with what rjb said , no need to hurry up to breakthrough.

 

[Bill Cipher]

Well, the first question that comes to mind is who the hell told you 100mgs was a good idea? Unless you weigh about 400 pounds, I'd say that's definitely overkill.

In the first place, there's just no way you're going to correctly vaporize 50mgs in one hit, hold it long enough to take effect and then still have the wherewithal to switch devices and effectively do it again, so you're likely wasting a substantial amount of the 100mgs you think you're imbibing. To that end, your method also sounds inefficient. A GVG will likely get you where you want to go without wasting a ton of your spice, and it will do so without burning a crumb.

In the second place, the higher the dose, the faster things move. If it's all too chaotic to focus on anything, you've either hit a saturation point or it's an issue of set and setting.

In the third place, don't go into it looking for "entities" or anything else. Extinguishing all expectations, flowing like water and remaining open to all that's occurring is a far more conducive recipe for having positive, non-scarring experiences.

Finally, I see from another post of yours that you're an afficiondo of Nazi paraphernalia. Could be this is your just dessert for thinking it's cool to dress up your home with swastikas and the like. Personally, I'm not a believer in hyperspatial boogeymen. If real evil exists in this world, though, its emblem is hanging on your wall.

As you've discovered, there's no place for hubris where DMT is concerned. It takes big, burly outlaw bikers and makes them piss in their pants.

 

[tele]

Just another story where one smokes more than he/she can handle. Isn't this a bit too usual lately?

Moderation is good idea. And get scales, and never increase your dose by more than 5mg at a time!

As you've discovered, there's no place for hubris where DMT is concerned. It takes big, burly outlaw bikers and makes them piss in their pants.

I'd like to see that! It's powerful indeed:lol:

 

[The Yak]

Uh no i didnt do it "just for the fun of it" I did it to explore and find answers like most people and i did more because previous doses werent close to enough and the method of vaporiziing it doesnt seem to effect it as long as your getting it all in you quick enough.Everyone says it takes 3 hits to get there well i did two 50 mg hits that shouldve been plenty but didnt take me anywhere different i saw the same things i just got a feeling that i was no longer alive in my body and it scared me but oh well it probably has more to do with the SNRI's i take than anything else.I'm titrating myself off the crap so i will see once its out of my body and i try again.Also the set and setting are not what they should be when i do it but im so interested in this that i just couldnt wait. BIG MISTAKE! I WILL NEVER DO IT ALONE AGAIN YOU CAN BET ON THAT HAHAHAHA.
It wasnt all bad that i got from it i learned a bit even if it was through fear.If there had been someone here i think it wouldnt have been as scary.So it has either been not enough or too much is there a happy medium somewhere in between?I don't think theres any magic in it theres nobody sitting in a hyperspace office looking at the watch on his wrist saying "ok its time for so and so to break through i think we can let him in now" im not sure why some people break through and see entities but i dont think its gonna happen for me until i get in a better frame of mind for one and two get off the snri and opiates first so my mind isnt clogged up with poisons so kindly prescribed to me by the wonderful dr death.
And believe me i know how to efficiently smoke bases due to a previous nasty habit i had yrs ago so its all getting vaporized theres nothing left in the bowl and im holding in a thick ass milky cloud for no less than 15-20 seconds.Theres plenty getting in probably too much!! i will wait a few months before i do it again and maybe next time out at the lake instead of in my room alone.I have no nazi shit on my walls re-read whatever you read.Someone bought it because it was old it never went on my wall and its not even in my house anymore i threw it away after getting reminded of how evil it is.I wasnt thinking of it like that i only saw it as an old ww2 relic i'm not a big nazi afficianado so i dont know where you got that from.

also from what ive read its a common experience on ayahuasca for the person to think they have actually died and that the shaman is not alarmed at all and will let the person experience this?

 

[smokerx]

As Art said you are wasting too much spice. Normal breakthrough dose should be between 25 to 50mg I would say maybe even less maybe 40mg. If your smoking technique was right you would not be able to get to second hit. When I smoke 20mg from GVG there is no way I could go for another hit. You need to get your technique right. What pipe do you use ?

From the audio I could hear that you did not hold the spice in long enough. You should really hold it for at least 20sec. Otherwise you waist again. I bet from those 100mg you got in to your blood maybe just 1/4 of it.

By the way I have not broken through yet and I have been smoking spice for some time. I know I have to take it slowly with respect. I am not ready yet. I also tried bigger dose once but bigger I mean 35mg and since then I knew I had to slow down and take it easy.

Also have you considered making your self changa ? If you try that I am sure you will be able to have some nice trips without being so scared. And making changa is also very good fun.

 

[Bill Cipher]

the method of vaporiziing it doesnt seem to effect it as long as your getting it all in you quick enough.

Uh, yes, it does. Enormously.

The other drugs you're taking can definitely affect your travels as well. As can the food you eat. And your general level of health and fitness. All of these things are intertwined. Garbage in, garbage out, so to speak.

But it sounds like you've got all the answers already, so keep doing exactly what you're doing. No one here has been down this road or dealt with these issues before you.

 

[tele]

bigger I mean 35mg and since then I knew I had to slow down and take it easy.

Did you exhale it too quickly or why didn't you break through?

YAK; I don't think you should worry about smoking it alone or with someone, just do what feels right. And try again with lower dose. Heck even if your pipe isn't as efficient as vaporgenie, you still should try less. 100mg even from non effective pipe is too much! Just take it slow, there's no rush.

 

[The Yak]

i think i better just go from here i dont like being scolded like i'm a little kid i think this is a place for people who know it all maybe.

 

[smokerx]

bigger I mean 35mg and since then I knew I had to slow down and take it easy.

Did you exhale it too quickly or why didn't you break through?

I did it all ok I held it long enough but that I panicked. I got scared I knew it was a bit too much and I did not expect it and instead just relaxing and let the spice take me I started to fight it. It was quite scary for me so after that I took it back to smaller dose. I also made changa and that is very good from me to help me to relax. Changa is very nice to me

I believe it was not right time for me to travel. I have issues I have to work on here and now and than maybe I will be ready.

 

[smokerx]

i think i better just go from here i dont like being scolded like i'm a little kid i think this is a place for people who know it all maybe.

Sound like ego to me. People here are just trying to help you not to put you down. Maybe you should start listening to more experienced travellers.

By the way nobody knows it all

 

[tele]

bigger I mean 35mg and since then I knew I had to slow down and take it easy.

Did you exhale it too quickly or why didn't you break through?

I did it all ok I held it long enough but that I panicked. I got scared I knew it was a bit too much and I did not expect it and instead just relaxing and let the spice take me I started to fight it. It was quite scary for me so after that I took it back to smaller dose. I also made changa and that is very good from me to help me to relax. Changa is very nice to me

I believe it was not right time for me to travel. I have issues I have to work on here and now and than maybe I will be ready.

I've smoked 35mg a couple of times and it's quite very intense.
Why didn't you start off with 20mg for example? 20mg can bring a breakthrough for me sometimes, 25mg almost always...

 

[tele]

i think i better just go from here i dont like being scolded like i'm a little kid i think this is a place for people who know it all maybe.

Dude, did you come here just to tell that you had a difficult journey, or did you want some advice?

Do what you like, but be aware of the effects of high dose.

 

[corpus callosum]

Yak- If youve a familiarity with base then Im sure you know how to vaporise properly; if 100mg is the dose you're vaporising then I reckon that your medication may be having an effect here.

As smokerx says, "Nobody knows it all" but IME 45-50mg of correctly vaped DMT (as per the GVG) in one breath is a cripplingly large hit and I am so destroyed that I am incapable of hitting the pipe again.Just putting it down is hard beyond whats reasonable..People are fairly lobotomised by 35mg so the tone youve received, I think, relates to the doses you're taking.

In some ways its probably good that your mirtazapine 'takes the edge' off your trips- a mercy in consideration of your sanity, methinks!

 

[Hyperspace Fool]

Perhaps all the talk of breakthroughs and heroic doses has the unintended effect of inspiring people to jump in to the DEEEEEEP end without first learning how to swim.

I think people should try micro doses first. In cozy environs... good music, all the lights off, very comfortable. It is awfully dificult to integrate these experiences. Pushing the envelope will not make it easier. You can not storm the citadel. You can't crash the heavenly party. Humility in the presence of the awesome?

Try to be worthy, and maybe the entities might take pity on you. Remember that we are just wide eyed bipeds poking our heads into vast and infinite realms where our loftiest exemplars are but cub scouts.

 

[smokerx]

I've smoked 35mg a couple of times and it's quite very intense.
Why didn't you start off with 20mg for example? 20mg can bring a breakthrough for me sometimes, 25mg almost always...

I did start with lower doses but did not have proper equipment then so with the machine 30mg effect was the same as 20 with GVG. I did not know that then so when I got my GVG I loaded it with same amount as I would do it with the machine and right then I got my ass kicked

It showed me how effective GVG is and also that I should slow down a bit. I got scared then and now I am building my confidence to go for higher dose again.

See I have never used any other substance similar to DMT. Basically I started with DMT. Before that I only smoked weed. So I lack of experience that other astronauts here have

 

[tele]

Try to be worthy, and maybe the entities might take pity on you. Remember that we are just wide eyed bipeds poking our heads into vast and infinite realms where our loftiest exemplars are but cub scouts.

I must add that not everyone has entities in their journeys, at least when I started out, the entities started appearing after only the 5th journey if I remember correctly. And the doses were strong and the trips were strong too.

But it's true that DMT will be more gentle if one's intentions and respect to it are good.

 

[tele]

I've smoked 35mg a couple of times and it's quite very intense.
Why didn't you start off with 20mg for example? 20mg can bring a breakthrough for me sometimes, 25mg almost always...

I did start with lower doses but did not have proper equipment then so with the machine 30mg effect was the same as 20 with GVG. I did not know that then so when I got my GVG I loaded it with same amount as I would do it with the machine and right then I got my ass kicked

It showed me how effective GVG is and also that I should slow down a bit. I got scared then and now I am building my confidence to go for higher dose again.

See I have never used any other substance similar to DMT. Basically I started with DMT. Before that I only smoked weed. So I lack of experience that other astronauts here have

Yeah, it's good to start from 10mg in your situation... That's what I did once after feeling like slowing down, only to become more excited and get back to normal 20-25mg doses!:lol:

 

[gibran2]

Notice how “I hit the 2 pipes side by side with 50 mg in each and it was that really pure stuff” is predictably followed by “I give up because I ain’t dying again until its really time!!!” and “it sent me to a place I never ever want to go to again” and “I'm almost turned off the thing completely now each time it has gotten more and more evil”?

Same old story. :roll: