Hello Again The Yak,
I would re-iterate the advice that says don't fool around with manly or heroic doses of DMT, regardless of pipe or hit method, etc. You're not a pussy? The pussy (uterus) is the strongest muscle in the human body, bar none. DMT is stronger than the pussy. DMT is stronger than you. DMT is stronger than me. DMT is stronger than any tough biker or warrior or interrogation survivor. Believe me this is so true it's what the kids call "word."
I would encourage you to slow down, take a big break to integrate and think this stuff over. DMT breakthrough doses are a really BIG step and are not for everyone IMO. If you are not ready to face ALL of the demons floating in your head, all of your fears . . . . if you cannot face them with surrender and love in your heart and mind, DMT is gonna be a behind kicker, no matter what your experience or how tough you are.
For all it's rattling, echoing feelings of mysticism in hyperspace, I am still currently strongly endorsing the idea that there's absolutely nothing in there that I didn't bring in with me. It's literally like that corney scene in "The Empire Strikes Back" with Luke, Yoda and The Tree. "What's in the tree?" asks Luke as he gazes in the very dark looking opening, "Only what you take with you," his mentor replies. If I were Luke, I'd drop ALL weapons, strip naked, and immediately meditate before attempting to enter the tree. If there's anything to this analogy, besides a HUGE psychological OD, you took some stuff into The Tree I think.
You said before you are 44. I am 43. I don't know about you but I think about death probably more than I should due to all of the friends and family who have already gone to the grave and due to the fact that I'm almost positive I'm now past the 50% point in my own life. I don't know you but you said biker and earlier said 44, so I suspect you do know about loss and maybe have had some time to consider that death is closer and more real than ever before in your life. Very scary.
Give yourself some time. Eat well. Sleep well. IF you do consider trying DMT again, maybe invest in a VaporGenie first. Invest in making your setting peaceful and interruption free. Take down symbols with dark meaning in your head. Meditate. Try to clear you mind. Try to let go of everything - all expectations, desires, beliefs, loves, etc. You do know just like I do that we are going to die and that days pass quickly and that the last day will sadly be here before we know it. Before I take that first hit I am honest in saying, "I'm okay with it if this trip literally kills me. Gotta go sometime." I'm using that knowledge to cherish every single exquisite day that I find myself waking up breathing. I'm telling my husband that I love him every morning I wake and every evening before bed and every time we separate for any time at all.
The point of this is YES! It is wonderful to be alive! How delightful that DMT slapped you with that realization. Make good use of this time and vision and understanding. Don't let this fade. It's so easy to fall asleep and the days and weeks and years just go by in a blur.
Regardless of your choices or future, I wish you nothing but peace, fulfillment, meaning and finding what you search for in life.
I would re-iterate the advice that says don't fool around with manly or heroic doses of DMT, regardless of pipe or hit method, etc. You're not a pussy? The pussy (uterus) is the strongest muscle in the human body, bar none. DMT is stronger than the pussy. DMT is stronger than you. DMT is stronger than me. DMT is stronger than any tough biker or warrior or interrogation survivor. Believe me this is so true it's what the kids call "word."
I would encourage you to slow down, take a big break to integrate and think this stuff over. DMT breakthrough doses are a really BIG step and are not for everyone IMO. If you are not ready to face ALL of the demons floating in your head, all of your fears . . . . if you cannot face them with surrender and love in your heart and mind, DMT is gonna be a behind kicker, no matter what your experience or how tough you are.
For all it's rattling, echoing feelings of mysticism in hyperspace, I am still currently strongly endorsing the idea that there's absolutely nothing in there that I didn't bring in with me. It's literally like that corney scene in "The Empire Strikes Back" with Luke, Yoda and The Tree. "What's in the tree?" asks Luke as he gazes in the very dark looking opening, "Only what you take with you," his mentor replies. If I were Luke, I'd drop ALL weapons, strip naked, and immediately meditate before attempting to enter the tree. If there's anything to this analogy, besides a HUGE psychological OD, you took some stuff into The Tree I think.
You said before you are 44. I am 43. I don't know about you but I think about death probably more than I should due to all of the friends and family who have already gone to the grave and due to the fact that I'm almost positive I'm now past the 50% point in my own life. I don't know you but you said biker and earlier said 44, so I suspect you do know about loss and maybe have had some time to consider that death is closer and more real than ever before in your life. Very scary.
Give yourself some time. Eat well. Sleep well. IF you do consider trying DMT again, maybe invest in a VaporGenie first. Invest in making your setting peaceful and interruption free. Take down symbols with dark meaning in your head. Meditate. Try to clear you mind. Try to let go of everything - all expectations, desires, beliefs, loves, etc. You do know just like I do that we are going to die and that days pass quickly and that the last day will sadly be here before we know it. Before I take that first hit I am honest in saying, "I'm okay with it if this trip literally kills me. Gotta go sometime." I'm using that knowledge to cherish every single exquisite day that I find myself waking up breathing. I'm telling my husband that I love him every morning I wake and every evening before bed and every time we separate for any time at all.
The point of this is YES! It is wonderful to be alive! How delightful that DMT slapped you with that realization. Make good use of this time and vision and understanding. Don't let this fade. It's so easy to fall asleep and the days and weeks and years just go by in a blur.
Regardless of your choices or future, I wish you nothing but peace, fulfillment, meaning and finding what you search for in life.