but when it came to actually doing it swim would get fearful and almost not want to deal w/that fear yet wanted "the experience"'I can tell you what has helped swim w/ his blast off apprehension is that he likes to drink kratom tea about an hr or so before the dmt (relaxes him).There is always someone present (never done it alone),although he might try it w/out the presence of someone else soon.Someone gave me good advice,which was to make yourself smile,while you start the journey and do not fight,just let it take you wherever it wants to take you or show you.Swim,so far always feels a sense of peace and well being after he faces that fear and returns from the trip.I know exactly what you mean why am i sooo obsessed yet afraid to do it.Obviously we are not unique and others feel the same way.Interesting fact is that the highest levels of kundalini meditation (so i've heard)is very similar to the dmt breakthrough and what some people call god conscious.Dmt not spiritual? i'm not really into theme parks though.