[USER=58939]@Varollo[/USER] Thank you for contributing. And always feel free. I try to give a bit of wiggle room in the threads I start because I like seeing all the different and unique and sometimes obscure ways the conversations can move and evolve.

I think the observation of it sabotaging me is a sound one. I find myself thinking sometimes, "what about me?" In a lot of ways, I'm so removed from myself in this way that "I don't know what I want."

Me biting my tongue is usually because people don't always respond to my incisive nature very well, and when trying to understand someone, I may come with a barrage of questions about minutia in their statements. Sometimes these questions may make them realize a way or ways in which they may not have thought about or explored a concept. And even when I point out what I feel may be an inconsistency, which then makes me have a harder time understanding them, it's often misconstrued as "me correcting all the time." I'm philosophic by nature, challenging ideas, even my own, just happens to be what I do. At the same time, I don't think anyone that I want to be connected to really faults me for this...

I'm evaluating my initiative and drive for self-sacrifice a lot, understandably. I kinda just happen to be pretty altruistic; I like building people up, I like seeing people succeed, etc. Perhaps it helps me forget about myself in some ways. Perhaps I'm a bit of a vicarious parasite, getting high off of others personal triumphs because I don't value myself to know what I want to do or provide myself with something that I really want to succeed in (aside from my current career goals).

I can understand your experience. Do you think that some of this desire for significance was/is somewhat natural to the human condition?

And thank you again for sharing.

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