
First I'd like to share two posts from my Skepticism thread since they pertain to the present conversation.
Paradox and Oneness
What people term the whole, or Oneness, or the all, I call paradox. I tend to look at the "whole" as existence; the fact that things exists. I also feel that the duality, a singular duality, is, paradoxically, oneness.
Your first paragraph often describes the divide in my personal experience. Anything I may want to do and that I may care about only matters now, but in a cosmic perspective, it means nothing and never matters. I'm but a speck, if even that in such a vast expanse.
The idea that we are the same is also just an idea, so we're where we were before; an antimony. In my perspective, I'd also say that being connected is not the same as being the same or that one thing contains everything, though I understand the ideal. Connection is not the same as identity imo. Also, as it currently stands, your continuity of experience is not mine and as such we are not the same. There's no way to know if such a continuity is maintained even after we pass in this physical life. I say this because I strongly question some of the interpretations and conclusions drawn from certain types of experience, such as some experiences showing a more "true" "reality" over others. So, the experience of oneness with the all is not any more or less real than any other state of experienced existence. It's all just experiences of the different facets of the jewel of existence, which can't be seen in its totality because we would need to be outside of existence to see it as such. But, if existence is everything...
I see a divide in Indra's Net of Jewels between phenomenology of perspective and ontology of what is existing in this context. As a matter of perspective, we see the whole, but ontologically, each jewel is still an individual jewel.
There's a reason that what we would call Paradox is vitally important to me 
Thank you for sharing and thank you for what you see in this thread. It is a very beautiful thing to witness.
One love