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Impulse Experience:

I woke up from a long nap after getting my hair twisted and braided (which is always sedating in itself, and then there's the added weight because my hair was wet; it was also a long week). When I awoke, I was sluggish and still tired. So I decided to start prepping for bed early. Once I got back to my room after making my tea and casein shake, I realized I still needed to meditate. It's hard to just sit and be when I'm this tired, and the idea of changa had been on my mind earlier in the day (initially decided to wait a couple days until my scalp adjusted because the sensations can be very intense even on a low journey when my head is freshly twisted). I thought "why not" I want to, it'll be meditative, etc.

I haven't smoalked any changa in about a month. I opened the space, stated my invocation, with an expressed intent to show myself some love (because I love DMT more than many things, doing it shows myself love and care). I took a hit. I didn't count, I just hit the bowl until it felt right to stop. I knew I wouldn't go too far. The first effects set in, and I decide on a second hit, being very explicit in telling myself that I want to so I should. An Act of active self-guiding. More in tune and engaged and purposeful with my inner dialogue (which isn't always present for me).

I was effectively practicing honesty with myself as I moved through the subtly visual space, acknowledging things that I tend to try and push down and away. Things that I feel may make me sound egotistical if I said them out loud, even though some of these particular things aren't felt or meant in an egotistical way. I'm used to being misunderstood and mischaracterized. I perused ways of describing myself; an attacker of assumptions, an excavator of the "fundamental(s)," the paradigm hopper, etc.

From there, I was inundated with thoughts and hypothetical pathways a potential conversation in the near future will take. I happen to challenge the basis and lens and scope of many concepts and ideals (well, all of em to a certain extent if we're being honest; how can we really be aware of something well unless we get inside and sometimes break it down and apart piece by piece; including investigating and being brutally honest with ourselves in our biases for and/or against that which we aim to be aware of and understand). It can be jarring for many. Even those that I care about (I actually have a friend that told me he can't have certain kinds of conversations around mysticism and esoterism because the way I proceed and go about it challenges too much of the fundamentals in which he thinks). But it's something that I do with the best of intentions and not as an antagonist of any sort.

One love

<blockquote data-quote="Voidmatrix" data-source="post: 3936782" data-attributes="member: 5">Impulse Experience:I woke up from a long nap after getting my hair twisted and braided (which is always sedating in itself, and then there&#039;s the added weight because my hair was wet; it was also a long week). When I awoke, I was sluggish and still tired. So I decided to start prepping for bed early. Once I got back to my room after making my tea and casein shake, I realized I still needed to meditate. It&#039;s hard to just sit and be when I&#039;m this tired, and the idea of changa had been on my mind earlier in the day (initially decided to wait a couple days until my scalp adjusted because the sensations can be very intense even on a low journey when my head is freshly twisted). I thought &quot;why not&quot; I want to, it&#039;ll be meditative, etc. I haven&#039;t smoalked any changa in about a month. I opened the space, stated my invocation, with an expressed intent to show myself some love (because I love DMT more than many things, doing it shows myself love and care). I took a hit. I didn&#039;t count, I just hit the bowl until it felt right to stop. I knew I wouldn&#039;t go too far. The first effects set in, and I decide on a second hit, being very explicit in telling myself that I want to so I should. An Act of active self-guiding. More in tune and engaged and purposeful with my inner dialogue (which isn&#039;t always present for me).I was effectively practicing honesty with myself as I moved through the subtly visual space, acknowledging things that I tend to try and push down and away. Things that I feel may make me sound egotistical if I said them out loud, even though some of these particular things aren&#039;t felt or meant in an egotistical way. I&#039;m used to being misunderstood and mischaracterized. I perused ways of describing myself; an attacker of assumptions, an excavator of the &quot;fundamental(s),&quot; the paradigm hopper, etc. From there, I was inundated with thoughts and hypothetical pathways a potential conversation in the near future will take. I happen to challenge the basis and lens and scope of many concepts and ideals (well, all of em to a certain extent if we&#039;re being honest; how can we really be aware of something well unless we get inside and sometimes break it down and apart piece by piece; including investigating and being brutally honest with ourselves in our biases for and/or against that which we aim to be aware of and understand). It can be jarring for many. Even those that I care about (I actually have a friend that told me he can&#039;t have certain kinds of conversations around mysticism and esoterism because the way I proceed and go about it challenges too much of the fundamentals in which he thinks). But it&#039;s something that I do with the best of intentions and not as an antagonist of any sort.One love</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Voidmatrix, post: 3936782, member: 5"] Impulse Experience: I woke up from a long nap after getting my hair twisted and braided (which is always sedating in itself, and then there's the added weight because my hair was wet; it was also a long week). When I awoke, I was sluggish and still tired. So I decided to start prepping for bed early. Once I got back to my room after making my tea and casein shake, I realized I still needed to meditate. It's hard to just sit and be when I'm this tired, and the idea of changa had been on my mind earlier in the day (initially decided to wait a couple days until my scalp adjusted because the sensations can be very intense even on a low journey when my head is freshly twisted). I thought "why not" I want to, it'll be meditative, etc. I haven't smoalked any changa in about a month. I opened the space, stated my invocation, with an expressed intent to show myself some love (because I love DMT more than many things, doing it shows myself love and care). I took a hit. I didn't count, I just hit the bowl until it felt right to stop. I knew I wouldn't go too far. The first effects set in, and I decide on a second hit, being very explicit in telling myself that I want to so I should. An Act of active self-guiding. More in tune and engaged and purposeful with my inner dialogue (which isn't always present for me). I was effectively practicing honesty with myself as I moved through the subtly visual space, acknowledging things that I tend to try and push down and away. Things that I feel may make me sound egotistical if I said them out loud, even though some of these particular things aren't felt or meant in an egotistical way. I'm used to being misunderstood and mischaracterized. I perused ways of describing myself; an attacker of assumptions, an excavator of the "fundamental(s)," the paradigm hopper, etc. From there, I was inundated with thoughts and hypothetical pathways a potential conversation in the near future will take. I happen to challenge the basis and lens and scope of many concepts and ideals (well, all of em to a certain extent if we're being honest; how can we really be aware of something well unless we get inside and sometimes break it down and apart piece by piece; including investigating and being brutally honest with ourselves in our biases for and/or against that which we aim to be aware of and understand). It can be jarring for many. Even those that I care about (I actually have a friend that told me he can't have certain kinds of conversations around mysticism and esoterism because the way I proceed and go about it challenges too much of the fundamentals in which he thinks). But it's something that I do with the best of intentions and not as an antagonist of any sort. One love [/QUOTE]