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Something has shifted. As it stands, it's a welcome shift.


I've whined quite a bit about my inability to get myself as deep as I'd like. It was a real bummer for a long time, especially considering how I psychedelically cut my teeth.


But today, I don't care anymore. I mean, yeah, I still wanna deepen my experience, but it's not as neurotically torturous. It's just what it is; I have work to do to connect with myself to get myself where I'm trying to go.


And I've been doing that.


It's ironic that this feeling, this state, has come at this time, seeing as I've been much more relaxed in taking my hits and taking bigger ones, and really recognizing the skill I always bring into the space without realizing it.


There's something novel that I feel is impacting this. Two tarot spreads. In both, in the place representing myself I got XIII, and in the spot representing what will help me the most was XV. I show this to someone close to me. They bring up the Left Hand Path, something I'm familiar with but hadn't thought about in a long time...


Now, before I go on, I want to provide a caveat. I understand that in some Western esoteric circles, the left hand path is considered bad/evil and has negative associations and connotations. I share no such associations and connotations and feel that whether an element from a path is good or bad is predicated primarily on the context of the overall situation that element is in. If anything, the left hand path seems to just be more internally focused and interested in the development of self through the challenge of taboo, dogma, and tradition. Which, I don't see as a bad thing. How do you know if something stands if it's never challenged. I also don't see it as a bad thing.


I am interested in one of the most contentious fields of study: philosophy, because I see the prose and direction of my investigations to not only help me but others as well.


Anyway, all this to say that since I've been paying more attention to this idea, I've noticed a lot of resonance between how I exist and what makes the left hand path what it is. That in turn has made me understand my life up to now a bit differently and as a result, there's a whole lot of stuff I don't care about anymore or as much.


As the Genesis of this idea is vedic/yogic, it's made me want to gravitate towards those philosophies again.


I'm not sure if any of this is making much sense, but I'm not as concerned about that either 😅


Thank you for reading.


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