Insane russian circus

[sonatine]

I keep ending up in the same room when I smoke dmt, even with a month break im still going there... :x its like a super insane russian circus...with hundreds of crazy circus people in there, like clowns and men on stilts, but their tree meeter tall stilts are actually their legs..and how poeple are painted in their face on circuses and theaters, thees beeings in there are like that in real, not painted..and they keep showing me all thees insane discusting things, and its like they really enjoy shocking me..its just so freaking insaaaane...for example one time I looked at this clown women sort of, sitting by herself in a corner in there, and she looked at me and opened her mouth and small white wormes came out of her mouth, eyes and ears..uuugh...and sometimes they show me rothening corpses and scelletons, and blod and flesh, and real human eyes teard out of peoples heads...and its impossible to for me to look away...and its so freaking disturbing to look at... Its also other beings in there, that I dont really know how to describe, and also some two dimensional black beings, that are more like evil devils..oh and everything is in super bright and strong beautiful colours, and everything is mooving around in a really fast speed. The room is really big and with smaller rooms and plateaus mooving around all the time. I get the feeling the beeings are trapped in there, and dont really want to be there, but now its their home kind of. Except the evil two dimensional devils, they really enjoy it there...Some of them are like five meeters tall, and one of them one time pushed my forhead back so I was laying down, and then gave me a shot in my mouth, wich had a maybe one meeter long thin flourishing green needle..and he was smiling really eval when he did it... scary..wonder what he did.. :shock: When im in there im sort of guided around by a group of maybe 8 men wich look identical. They have black sort of painted on hair and they are white in the face with big eyes and mouths pionting upwards on the sides, giving them kind of a little divilish look, and they have really colurful stiped clothes that change patterns all the time. This last time I smoked now, they got really angry I was there again, and took me out on one hell of a guided tour...OMG.. and its like they try to convince me that nothing really excict, that nothing in my reality really is real, and that their room in the only thing real in the universe..their weiw on things really scares me and discust me....
have anyone been in this space before or anything similar? Do anyone have some advices how I can cut the connection to this insane space, so I can have "normal" dmt trips?? I am going to join a aya cermony in a few weeks from now, and I am considering iboga..maybe that will give me some answers! But I am kind of worried that I will go back there then.. Is it a chance for that?? If I would spend 8 hours or more in there, im scared I would never get out alive.. :lol:

 

[arcanum]

Sounds quite negative, and 3-5 minutes of that might be enough for anyone . But if you feel good post trip, then I woudn't worry too much.

 

[onethousandk]

I've always wondered about people that end up in the same place emotionally or mentally when they take psychedelics. I've read reports from many different people experiencing this type of return on many different types of drugs. Most of these people, however, readily admit that they end up in these places because of past experiences. That is to say, someone grows up in a very Christian household and then keeps seeing the Devil during their trips (or the opposite as one report I read was from a girl raised in a very atheist household that kept seeing the Devil during her Aya trips). My instinct is to say that this is something similar. You mention lots of disturbing images. Do you have an intense fear of death or getting hurt? Have you experienced intense violence or see it frequently (or maybe even just once)? What patterns in your life can you think of that may be somehow related?

 

[1664]

Maybe try altering something about your set and/or setting? Change the music, find a beautiful space in nature, meditate. Whatever works. If you always go to the same place, maybe try altering something before you blast off? Let us know if it works, best of luck man.

 

[InneffableThings]

Have you tried a breath-focus meditation before? Or any other?

My experience is minimal, but I've been to a couple carnivals, and found them to be mostly not very profound or beneficial.

Personally, I do focus practice before, usually breath focus practice. My experience has been that, the more I am able to pay attention to one single thing - one entity, one pattern - the farther I go. At one carnival, an entity I was paying attention told me to take her hand and follow her. We were running through the carnival, I was following her by keeping my attention on her. Things kept getting more and more distracting, i.e. more challenging to keep my attention on her. At some point something grabbed my attention, something which ended up being mediocre, and she got away from me. She was saying goodbye as she was going. I then felt abandoned and alone at a mediocre place with a bunch of entities who were not interested in me, and who I did not want to bother.

Possibly, the "shocking" things they are showing you, are things about reality you have not accepted/faced yet. I think it would be worth trying, accepting/facing completely what they are showing you. I've read some accounts of entities testing people, before letting them go farther. I've been tested a couple times, passing by fulling giving my attention to/accepting/facing what they are doing/showing me. The clearest one for me, there was an evil-shaman looking entity with a bull skull for a head, staring at me. I actually had the sensation it was asking me "oh yeah? and is THIS ok???". I got my bearings some, accepted the situation fully, and replied (not in words) "yes, yes. that's ok." Literally the entity removed what actually was a mask (or just shifted, but there was a strong feeling of the mask being taken off), and presented a beautiful and loving female entity, who then showed me where I had some subconscious anxiety in my mind and where it was connected to my body.

Antrocles has a post somewhere about just keep saying yes to everything, I think this is probably the best advice.

Are you afraid that this reality is fake? You will probably be tested with that. After being able to deal with that as a possible truth are you then afraid that spice reality is fake, and you are just a burnout wasting your time? Then you will be tested with that.

I really try to go in, humbly accepting I don't know what the hell is true, and respectfully paying attention to what is happening. Accepting/saying ok to whatever comes. I would guess as long as there is any disgusting thing the entities can show you, which you will not want to accept as reality, they will continue to show them to you. I would also guess as soon as you get better at facing and giving your complete loving attention to whatever is there, your loving attention will disintegrate the fear of it and the entities will have no reason to continue showing it to you. It will probably morph into something beautiful.

that's my 2 cents, I don't claim it to be correct.

 

[Godspark]

[youtube]

 

[InneffableThings]

I'm pretty sure Godspark just blew my mind.

 

[distracted]

I think ineffable got the right idea. On one trip I had I perceived a negative presence around me that I believe to have been watching me my entire life. It all started with this dream of a dragon type thing that was twisted and quite horrid looking when I was a child. All it was was a still image of it.

Then during a trip I had on dxm, and 2c-e. I had contact with a very alien "wrong" being. I suppressed what it was, but several days later, it began to came back and I realized what it was, that creature from my dream, probably 15 years ago.

Several minutes later my kundalini started going crazy. And I began having a flashback, and perceived a presence that was very angry with me. It was the same being, and it didn't like that I had caught on. I decided to face it head on, did a headstand to get my energy up, and began meditating. I was tempted several times by various things, but came to terms and learned to love it, spread my heart chakra energy out far beyond what I have ever been capable of, to the edges of the universes and beyond. With this love of the being, I wouldn't be harmed, the source protected me, and felt the presence leave me.

In my mind flashbacks occur when there is something unresolved in the trip. The hppd that was lingering from this trip began to fade after, and is gone now a week or so later.

Sorry that got long winded, and seems a little odd as it was in a flashback, and not the heat of an experience, but basically the point is to face your experience head on and accept/ love it, despite your fear. You'll be surprised what you find if you apply this with psychedelics, and in daily life.

 

[onethousandk]

I'm pretty sure Godspark just blew my mind.

Way better idea than what I had in mind.

 

[Digi123]

Hah! Just remembered! I read this post a few days ago then last night, lyin in bed after a bowl and I ended up in a weird circus place that reminded me of this post. Strange clown's, hmm I can't really remember what exactly they were doing as I wasn't there long before being launched somewhere else

 

[Digi123]

Possibly, the "shocking" things they are showing you, are things about reality you have not accepted/faced yet. I think it would be worth trying, accepting/facing completely what they are showing you. I've read some accounts of entities testing people, before letting them go farther. I've been tested a couple times, passing by fulling giving my attention to/accepting/facing what they are doing/showing me. The clearest one for me, there was an evil-shaman looking entity with a bull skull for a head, staring at me. I actually had the sensation it was asking me "oh yeah? and is THIS ok???". I got my bearings some, accepted the situation fully, and replied (not in words) "yes, yes. that's ok." Literally the entity removed what actually was a mask (or just shifted, but there was a strong feeling of the mask being taken off), and presented a beautiful and loving female entity, who then showed me where I had some subconscious anxiety in my mind and where it was connected to my body.

Antrocles has a post somewhere about just keep saying yes to everything, I think this is probably the best advice.

Are you afraid that this reality is fake? You will probably be tested with that. After being able to deal with that as a possible truth are you then afraid that spice reality is fake, and you are just a burnout wasting your time? Then you will be tested with that.

I really try to go in, humbly accepting I don't know what the hell is true, and respectfully paying attention to what is happening. Accepting/saying ok to whatever comes. I would guess as long as there is any disgusting thing the entities can show you, which you will not want to accept as reality, they will continue to show them to you. I would also guess as soon as you get better at facing and giving your complete loving attention to whatever is there, your loving attention will disintegrate the fear of it and the entities will have no reason to continue showing it to you. It will probably morph into something beautiful.

that's my 2 cents, I don't claim it to be correct.

Wow thanks man that's confirmed something I was thinking about my trip last night and I think it's some good advice. I'm going to try to find Antrocles post you mentioned.

Last night there was a group of doctor/scientists (they were both at the same time) and they would pour liquid down long tubes into my mouth, it went on for quite a while, just a little bit at a time then later they started really filling my mouth with the stuff and I thought "it's fine, you can fill me as much as you want, even until I burst but I'll be ok", So they did start to fill me up and when I could feel my body start to expand it freaked me a bit and I decided I didn't need to do that and I moved on somewhere else.

Maybe I should of just allowed them to have filled me until I popped? They are testing me?

Later I started to melt into my bed, my whole body apart from my left arm was molten like syrup and sunk into the bed, my left arm refused to melt and held on to the bed like an anchor. I was thinking at the time that maybe I should relax and just let it melt like the rest of me but I didn't. I think the fear I had was that I didn't know where I would end up if I did melt.

Test? I'm starting to think so. Another trip told me repeatedly to "Let Go"

 

[Tosee]

I've heard of high dose mushroom experiences that are confounding and difficult to interpret and have an aspect of acceptance. what I have read here seems different but of that nature , I hope things get better for you, that kind of experience sounds a bit unnerving

 

[the white rabbit]

Funny, I took DMT once via vaporizer and during my insane trip I eventually saw a dancing monkey man or something with a funny face. He danced towards me and made hand gestures close to my face with a massive smile. Could be a circus thing, never thought of it.

Once I took a lung full of DMT my eyes were sent to the alien world, that I am sure of.