Sorry for the unsorted no format again, will work on this for future posts.
I meditated for a while and did some qi gong breathing exercises to focus and stay calm before smoking 38mg of chacruna crystals and a small dose of caapi extract 45 minutes beforehand. Probably 20mg, but unfortunately, the effects were undefined...
Everything was slower this time, yet more intense.
I existed only as a part of consciousness, or rather, a receiver, completely detached from space, time, my body, or any memory of any of it.
From left to right, the first level built up, rising into the next, like this tool image with columns and heads in the middle—a cuboid without any real connection to the rest of the environment. I speculated about what was wrong with it, and either I was catapulted into it, which seems most plausible now as I write this. And then this cuboid lifted off again, another "dimension or level upwards"...
But inside the cuboid, I was where I usually am. In the white room with neon question marks and other symbols, or are they all just question marks? Completely overwhelmed, all the symbols suddenly seemed to point at me, and each one began speaking separately, with mouths—small mouths, if such a thing exists—at the right height, in the lower third.
One of the question marks or symbols was now standing directly in my face and began to enlighten me with personal matters and memories. It was all so much, so fast—definitely my native language, with gibberish in the background and an extreme ringing in one ear.
It was an eternity of talking, and I can't remember a single word! It didn't stop; it felt like they were explaining the universe to me, covering everything of importance.
The subtext, however, was "Don't try to understand, accept it as it is, the order cannot be changed, and you are subject to its will."
Or something like that.
Then it was like an elevator descending through the levels back into my body. On the middle level, it was as if I were being watched as I descended, with skepticism about how this could be happening, yet with the utmost humility, even to the point of questioning it mentally. Like someone holding back a finger and wanting nothing to do with it...
Along the way through my body, strange visuals and optical illusions and jokes arose, similar to my last visit. Worldly symbols, buildings, and people grew from chains of symbols and disappeared back into them. As if everything is, in a certain way, exactly as it should be? Perhaps only the balance between good and evil is disturbed? (I don't have a better word at the moment.)
My eyes opened, and I felt so alien, so absurd, in my own body, and as if I had landed in the completely wrong vessel. I was speechless and stunned by the fact that I understood practically nothing, even though it was full of lectures...
I have no idea, especially the reality in front of me, my room, my usual place, so strange and harsh.
Otherwise, coming back was always enchanting and wonderful, but this time it was more like a disappointment. Emotionally, things are slowly returning to normal.
I know there was more to it, especially the geometry of going up and down and something like a landscape, but that mystery room, the brightest white, is always what I primarily remember; the visuals are unfortunately just a side effect.
I might add something later if I think of anything relevant.
I meditated for a while and did some qi gong breathing exercises to focus and stay calm before smoking 38mg of chacruna crystals and a small dose of caapi extract 45 minutes beforehand. Probably 20mg, but unfortunately, the effects were undefined...
Everything was slower this time, yet more intense.
I existed only as a part of consciousness, or rather, a receiver, completely detached from space, time, my body, or any memory of any of it.
From left to right, the first level built up, rising into the next, like this tool image with columns and heads in the middle—a cuboid without any real connection to the rest of the environment. I speculated about what was wrong with it, and either I was catapulted into it, which seems most plausible now as I write this. And then this cuboid lifted off again, another "dimension or level upwards"...
But inside the cuboid, I was where I usually am. In the white room with neon question marks and other symbols, or are they all just question marks? Completely overwhelmed, all the symbols suddenly seemed to point at me, and each one began speaking separately, with mouths—small mouths, if such a thing exists—at the right height, in the lower third.
One of the question marks or symbols was now standing directly in my face and began to enlighten me with personal matters and memories. It was all so much, so fast—definitely my native language, with gibberish in the background and an extreme ringing in one ear.
It was an eternity of talking, and I can't remember a single word! It didn't stop; it felt like they were explaining the universe to me, covering everything of importance.
The subtext, however, was "Don't try to understand, accept it as it is, the order cannot be changed, and you are subject to its will."
Or something like that.
Then it was like an elevator descending through the levels back into my body. On the middle level, it was as if I were being watched as I descended, with skepticism about how this could be happening, yet with the utmost humility, even to the point of questioning it mentally. Like someone holding back a finger and wanting nothing to do with it...
Along the way through my body, strange visuals and optical illusions and jokes arose, similar to my last visit. Worldly symbols, buildings, and people grew from chains of symbols and disappeared back into them. As if everything is, in a certain way, exactly as it should be? Perhaps only the balance between good and evil is disturbed? (I don't have a better word at the moment.)
My eyes opened, and I felt so alien, so absurd, in my own body, and as if I had landed in the completely wrong vessel. I was speechless and stunned by the fact that I understood practically nothing, even though it was full of lectures...
I have no idea, especially the reality in front of me, my room, my usual place, so strange and harsh.
Otherwise, coming back was always enchanting and wonderful, but this time it was more like a disappointment. Emotionally, things are slowly returning to normal.
I know there was more to it, especially the geometry of going up and down and something like a landscape, but that mystery room, the brightest white, is always what I primarily remember; the visuals are unfortunately just a side effect.
I might add something later if I think of anything relevant.
