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introducing myself

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CosmicRiver

CosmicRiver

Titanium Teammate
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Hi! I am a young man and I have always been curious about psychedelics. I approached psychedelics as a nihilist, but since my first experience with them my worldview completely changed and I started to acknowledge the spiritual nature of living beings. This led me to the realization that I had to connect more both with fellow humans and with nature. I realized that, in order to respect them, I had to be more conscious about my impact on the web of life in order to reduce it. My most profound experiences have been on DMT, mushrooms, cacti and LSD.

My ayahuasca journey has been the most life-changing, because I met the entity that in the Hyperspace lexicon has been called Central Light, along with a loving Mother-Goddess. It felt both blissful and terrifying (I wasn't ready for that) and it shook me to the core.

I have always struggled to use substances in a responsible way so eventually after smoking changa too often I had a psychotic episode (temporary psychosis lasting less than a month) and since I healed from it I haven't taken any substance. Nevertheless I am still interested in psychedelics and in the benefits that they can provide when responsibly used.
 
Wow, very nice intro CosmicRiver. Welcome brother.

Have you tried meditating with frequency now that you are off substances?
 
Hi FranLover!
I used to meditate daily. Now I sometimes do it, but not very frequently. Lately I prefer to go walking or running because it clears my mind from thoughts and at the same time it gives me a down-to-earth feeling.
 
CosmicRiver said:
Hi FranLover!
I used to meditate daily. Now I sometimes do it, but not very frequently. Lately I prefer to go walking or running because it clears my mind from thoughts and at the same time it gives me a down-to-earth feeling.
Click to expand...

Hi ^_^ jogging is amazing. I love to to lay motionless (meditation) after a good jog. Anyway, I bring meditation up because its possible to still have a psychedelic practice without psychedelics (through meditation)
 
Thank you for sharing your reflections with us.

It seems like you have had some wonderful experiences and some hard lessons, and I wish you the best. Pushing the envelope, unfortunately, can result in nasty consequences. Positives and negatives can so often occupy the same space, and sometimes it is difficult to know what to do or not to do with these molecules once you've seen the full spectrum of what they are capable of. Acknowledgement of the negative experiences, focusing on the positive elements you have been given, stepping back, breathing a little, and falling back on connection with nature and humans for any amount of time is always a fantastic idea. In my experience, the longer the better.

Welcome to the Nexus, I like you 😁
 
Welcome to life CR, so nice to hear a nihilist turn to values!

I'm way to cerebral myself and I have been psychotic and still have trouble meditating so I would suggest to put on Youtube and do yoga and qi-gong instead. Of course, yoga is not a replacement for running in a forest which allows you to tune in to Earth's 7.83Hz vibes, rather it is complementary and concentrating on the breath as a mantra in combination with movement, tention and relaxation, helps still the mind.

Try these because they remind us to breath:
*
(ashtanga counting every breath)

*
(+ part 2 & 3)

* https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPJTnhnYa-pMgVlHeT9LDOUxfOFQd-DT_ (the best kundalini I've found)

*
(yoga nidra is one of the best meditations)

* Before bed or if you get too cerebral I recommend yin yoga!

Like how you're hanging in that tree!
 
Thank you VibeSurfer!
The more I experienced, the more I wanted to experience. I wasn't very respectful both of psychedelics and of my own mind.
Anyway even years before smoking DMT for the first time I used to read trip reports on the Nexus and now I'm happy to be here as a member :)
 
Hey rockwool! I have practiced qi-gong, in fact it helped me to get grounded while I was recovering from psychosis. I'd like to start again but lately I've been lazy hahaha :p
Thank you for all the YT links!
 
Sounds like a cosmic river flowing into a cosmic ocean!

You wrote, "My ayahuasca journey has been the most life-changing, because I met the entity that in the Hyperspace lexicon has been called the Source, along with a loving Mother-Goddess. It felt both blissful and terrifying (I wasn't ready for that) and it shook me to the core."

Blissful and terrifying? What happened exactly?

I ask because blissful and terrifying don't seem to be able to exist within the same space. Did it start as terrifying and transform into bliss? It sounds like you may be pointing towards a certain end of suffering. I can relate. Many of my experiences with psychedelics have played out this way. I find it most interesting when the terror falls away leaving me wonder why I was ever terrified to begin with. It seems to me the when the mind(ego) falls away, the bliss enters.

I have felt this way with both psychedelics and meditation, a struggle and then a calmness and stillness that I cannot express with language.
 
You know, it's almost impossible to describe those feelings. I was euphoric because I felt loved but at the same time the entities I met were so otherwordly that I was terrified. They defied the laws of space and geometry, it was too complex for my simple human mind. I wasn't scared by them though. If I manage to write it down, I'm going to post a trip report on "first steps in hyperspace".
I took it lightly, thinking it would have been similar to other psychedelics I had already tried. I used 40 grams of B. caapi Trueno and 5 grams of Mimosa tenuiflora and I think that I should have used less caapi because the body load was very uncomfortable. I couldn't even walk because I would lose balance and fall.
 
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