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Introductions and a humble request for full membership.

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Rising Star
A prelude: My handle (eloheim) is an ancient Hebraic word for God/spirit/nature. I offer a sincere apology to anyone who might be offended by my using it. I'm not Jewish; I just find the word to be aesthetically pleasing (“ee-low-heem”) and I like the general religious connotation. I think of it much more like Spinoza's monoistic god. Like the single entity that is existence and the universe and the “life force” and every individual at once.

Hello everyone. I stumbled upon your community here a few days ago while doing some research. I had my first encounter with the elf spice a few weeks ago at a certain Michigan music festival. I had been having a good old time, but when a lost camper couldn't find his site in the darkness and sprawl of humanity one night, we let him chill with us for a while. Shortly my friends left and soon after he recovered the strange stash he had declared lost. He was relieved enough to offer to share a tenth with me. I was hesitant at first, but decided I could only regret not having participated later.

I didn't break through. In fact in the few times since I'm still yet to. My first experience was of first watching the entire world literally melt around me. It appeared as if the world was splitting at the seems, revealing an oily black goop inside, that soon engulfed my entire field of vision. I shut my eyes and saw a pulsating column of geometric shapes spewing brightly-colored polygons in all directions. I sucked me in and I flew through it, headfirst. I felt my self being dissolved and for a second I didn't exist. I was the vibrating worm of energy. Needless to say, it was one of the more incredible experiences of my recent lifetime.

The next could times I did it the experience was pretty different. At one point (when my eyes were open) it looked and felt like the room was some kind of space ship flying at high speeds. I thought it was interesting because I've had similar experiences long ago on pot. With my eyes closed I saw something (slightly embarrassingly for some reason) which would be best described as a filth monster. In general it was like the shape of a tank, or street sweeper, but it had fractal qualities in that all parts of looked the same and it kinda branched out into more parts when you looked at it. You know those old super-industrial machines? Like with all kinds of filthy pipes, and clamps going up and down, and steam coming out of it? It was like that but made of flesh and bile. Like constantly each little bit was perpetually regenerating and writhing around. I knew it was a manifestation of the feeling of pure “fifth,” and I never felt like it was trying to communicate. The strangest thing was that there wasn't any mind-fuck involved like the first time, and I felt perfectly sane and in control. And even though it was pure fifth, I wasn't at all disgusted by it. I was telling myself how all of life is beautiful (even millipedes and scavengers devouring a carcass in the circle of life, for example) but it still wasn't pleasant to look at by any means.

That's why I ended up at the Nexus, but not what I find most enchanting about it. I love all the discussion of religion, philosophy, consciousness and existence. My personal passion is for naturalistic philosophy and ethics. You could probably say I'm an extremely spiritual person, but I am in no way religious in the traditional sense If I was Christian, there'd be no doubt; I'd want to be a minister. Jewish, probable be a rabbi. In other cases, perhaps a mystic. But unfortunately I can't believe in any of that. You might say I'm science minded (I like “based in reality”), because all of my knowledge is based upon observation Simple enough. My world view and mindset and much close to that of Buddhism, but honestly, I'd like to be some kind of shaman of science. I've read countless numbers of non-fiction books. Physics is a particular love of mine. I also enjoy biology, ecology, neurological psychology and the study of conscious very much. I've managed to produce a few essays for myself over the years but it always seems like I'm buried on research. So (at the moment at least) I'm stuck working as a chemist.

The possibility of the DMT molecule playing a part in human spiritual experience is very intriguing as well. I often romanticize about ancient cultures, especially of hunter-gatherers. The use of spice as a sacrament tickles me in a deep place. Its like a connection to ancient man. Something our distant relatives shared an eternity ago. That's a really wonderful feeling.

Sorry to go on so long, but the stuff I've read here has really stimulated my mind. Just the fact that you can more-or-less write an essay for membership is awesome. I have a list of notes about threads I want to add to or inquire into (I was a bit disappointed when I figured out I couldn't post yet) so hopefully I will be able to soon.

Thanks for your time,

eloheim said:
I often romanticize about ancient cultures, especially of hunter-gatherers. The use of spice as a sacrament tickles me in a deep place. Its like a connection to ancient man. Something our distant relatives shared an eternity ago. That's a really wonderful feeling


I really enjoyed reading your post. I'm glad you enjoyed writting the essay...it's a new thing we're trying out and I'm glad it was not a turn off to you.
Gratzi to the mod(s) and everyone that read and/or responded to my essay. I think I was in a particularly good place at the time. :lol:

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