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Is anyone else rubbish at meditation?

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Tara123

Tara123

Rising Star
I'm trying to meditate daily by focusing on my breath and not 'following' thoughts. But I'm completely rubbish at it. Some days I spend the whole time basically ruminating. Then I get really, really annoyed at myself for not being able to do it and angry at trivial things like people for making a bit of noise when I'm trying to meditate. So I get off the cushion in a really bad mood. Has anyone had any success with this style of meditation? I'm wondering whether to stick at it (as I understand it can reap huge rewards) or to just try something else completely.
 
Don't take things too seriously! Maybe you can try some Vipassana to kearn it the hard way? :)
I realized some time ago that something that can really leasds to happiness is "flow", so, in my opinion do whatever you like that keeps you in a flow, be it artistic or gardening or working monotonous with an axe to chop wood. These things can bring us in a mental state that isn't that far from meditating (and can bring in some wood in the same time)
So, if you are not comfortable with meditation because you are maybe an active person, try something different. Maybe someday you will becoming calmer and it will work.
 
Very good advice from dontfoolio. I was going to recommend vipassana too...


Doing things you enjoy doing (that are beneficial) can bring your mind to a state of equilibrium. Meditation isn't about sitting crosslegged etc. the way many people tend to picture it. Sure, that is a part of it, but the "reason" for meditation is to change the way you think/act/feel/ the rest of the day...

Welcome to the nexus and hope all is well with you :love:
 
I also have many days like this...and then i think to myself, 2 years ago it wasnt even a thoughtto try a meditation practice....ive used other activities as a form meditation, but the thought of sitting completely still and clearing my mind seemed absolutely impossible, so i never bothered. Some days sitting completely still and clearing my mind is impossible, the only difference is that today i try to practice.....i believe itll come over time (this i must earn).
Peace
 
Try 3 breaths...start with short:count 123 in 321 out through nose/ longer 123456 in 654321 out then longest 1 to 9/ 9 to 1 out. cycle through as comfortable finishing on the shortest . Counting in head at first then when learnt just breath. If a breath becomes uncomfortable switch to lower count.
 
I have been meditating for years and can relate to your frustration. Some days are better than others for meditation. As others have stated, don't take it too seriously. Meditation is like working out a muscle, the more you work it out, the stronger it gets. Try and not fight the mind. Allow it to do it's thing. The more you try and clear thoughts, the more thoughts will come. What you resist, persists. Go with the flow of it.

What works for me is Zazen meditation. Just sit. No rules. If you need to scratch an itch, do it. If you need to move around a bit, do it. Don't beat yourself up over not doing it right. It is just sitting, nothing more. Sometimes I will rock back and forth a bit. Sometimes I will chant if I feel like it. I like to count beads on a 108 bead mala when I want to work on a certain mantra or chant.

I don't worry about concentrating on breathing most of the time. I find the breath takes care of itself and will slow on it's own. I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth gently, this reduces saliva build up in the mouth and will result less swallowing, it also helps to open up nasal passages for better breathing through the nose.

If I feel something, I try and feel it all. I go into it. I allow it to play out until is passes or until my time is up. Thoughts will come and go constantly. This is the time to observe how the mind works. Watch as it creates thought after thought after thought. Don't be irritated with the thoughts if you can help it. Try and laugh at yourself as much as possible.

Another thing that has helped me is to smile really big before and I put my hands in the air like a victory. This can prime me to be in a better frame of mind for my meditation. Sounds silly I am sure, but it works for me. I also like to light incense during my meditation. I highly recommend a good zafu and zabuton! This made a world of difference in my meditation practice.

Not sure if any of this will help? Stick with it and practice every day, at least 15 mins. It will get easier and become more fulfilling. I find I really miss meditation on days that I skip for one reason or another. It has become something I very much look forward to. It is very important to me! I made it a priority in my life.

Keep in mind that you can meditate anytime, anywhere. Driving... you are driving.. nothing else.. concentrate on driving. Any activity.. try and be present.. be present as much as possible and meditation can occur all the time. Being present is the point of it all. Be here, now!

Good luck to you! I hope you stick with it!
 
I signed up for an online meditation course and did a daily practice for about 3 months with limited success. I trained myself to sit still for 20min, focus on breath, focus on the third eye space and attempt to empty my mind with limited success. Getting into the meditation headspace was quite difficult for me.

Where I think my limited experience will come in handy is calming myself down when I experience a scary trip; keeping quiet and still and not freaking out and doing something that might put me in danger. I haven't experienced any direct benefits from my practice so far.

Nowadays I am less disciplined about practicing. I don't try to actively empty my mind any more. I just wear earphones and listen to a meditation chant on YouTube. If any thoughts enter my mind I try to just observe it as it drifts along rather than engage with it and process it.
I don't beat myself up either if I do engage. I just let go as soon as I realise. I get CEVs sometimes, which I just tend to watch rather than seek. They tend to be just poorly formed patterns and colours. Nothing very impressive or engaging.

I am planning to try meditation during the come down phase of a shroom trip to see if I can get into the meditation mindspace with a bit of help.
 
Setting up a dedicated meditation spot really helped me. I just use a nice thick cushion on a folded up yoga mat in front of a little nightstand turned altar.

Dedicate to daily, even if it's just 3 minutes, or even 3 breaths. Consistency breeds quick results that facilitate increased engagement.

Headphones with a nice meditation timer app or om chanting youtube really help with detaching from the external (and internal) noise.

Remember it is a practice, always returning to the focal point, gently, with compassion and humor. Monkey mind never stops, appreciate it's antics.

There are ton of different meditation methods, try all you can.
 
Tara123 said:
I'm trying to meditate daily by focusing on my breath and now 'following' thoughts. But I'm completely rubbish at it. Some days I spend the whole time basically ruminating. Then I get really, really annoyed at myself for not being able to do it and angry at trivial things like people for making a bit of noise when I'm trying to meditate. So I get off the cushion in a really bad mood. Has anyone had any success with this style of meditation? I'm wondering whether to stick at it (as I understand it can reap huge rewards) or to just try something else completely.
Click to expand...

Tara123,
Here is a good starting point. I don't know if that's a typo when you said "now following" thoughts, You should Not be following them. When the thoughts/emotions come into your mind, don't entertain them. Try to focus on what you truly love. See with your heart, not with your mind. Don't get annoyed at yourself, forgive yourself. Don't allow emotions to control you. Master them and strive to raise your level of understanding of consciousness. It is the ground of all being. Try to Understand that everything happens in divine order, or at least be open minded to the possibility of something that powerful going on right under your nose.
 
Thank you so much for these wonderful suggestions. I really appreciate your help everyone :love:
 
Tara123 said:
I'm trying to meditate daily by focusing on my breath and now 'following' thoughts. But I'm completely rubbish at it. Some days I spend the whole time basically ruminating. Then I get really, really annoyed at myself for not being able to do it and angry at trivial things like people for making a bit of noise when I'm trying to meditate. So I get off the cushion in a really bad mood. Has anyone had any success with this style of meditation? I'm wondering whether to stick at it (as I understand it can reap huge rewards) or to just try something else completely.
Click to expand...

The thoughts will come, don't attach to them, let them go. It gets better with practice. You're not rubbish at it. You can't be rubbish at it.

When you get annoyed with yourself, try to observe that annoyance objectively as if it was happening to someone else, "oh there is annoyance". Don't get caught up in the thoughts that begin to associate with it. Same with a bit of noise. You don't need silence to meditate, the silence is inside you. Again, with the external noise observe it objectively, "oh, that's a lawn mower, a dog barking, a child crying etc". Accept the noise without any judgement, it's just part of the world, it's all taking place in Awareness.

Whatever method you're using, for example you say breathing, just focus on your breath, when a distraction comes along observe it without judgement and return to the breath. Repeat everyday twice a day for the rest of your life. It does reap rewards, but don't focus on that. Don't expect anything, this will help release some of the frustration.

Oh and finally and possibly most importantly, don't 'try' too hard.
 
DmnStr8 said:
I have been meditating for years and can relate to your frustration. Some days are better than others for meditation. As others have stated, don't take it too seriously. Meditation is like working out a muscle, the more you work it out, the stronger it gets. Try and not fight the mind. Allow it to do it's thing. The more you try and clear thoughts, the more thoughts will come. What you resist, persists. Go with the flow of it.

What works for me is Zazen meditation. Just sit. No rules. If you need to scratch an itch, do it. If you need to move around a bit, do it. Don't beat yourself up over not doing it right. It is just sitting, nothing more. Sometimes I will rock back and forth a bit. Sometimes I will chant if I feel like it. I like to count beads on a 108 bead mala when I want to work on a certain mantra or chant.

I don't worry about concentrating on breathing most of the time. I find the breath takes care of itself and will slow on it's own. I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth gently, this reduces saliva build up in the mouth and will result less swallowing, it also helps to open up nasal passages for better breathing through the nose.

If I feel something, I try and feel it all. I go into it. I allow it to play out until is passes or until my time is up. Thoughts will come and go constantly. This is the time to observe how the mind works. Watch as it creates thought after thought after thought. Don't be irritated with the thoughts if you can help it. Try and laugh at yourself as much as possible.

Another thing that has helped me is to smile really big before and I put my hands in the air like a victory. This can prime me to be in a better frame of mind for my meditation. Sounds silly I am sure, but it works for me. I also like to light incense during my meditation. I highly recommend a good zafu and zabuton! This made a world of difference in my meditation practice.

Not sure if any of this will help? Stick with it and practice every day, at least 15 mins. It will get easier and become more fulfilling. I find I really miss meditation on days that I skip for one reason or another. It has become something I very much look forward to. It is very important to me! I made it a priority in my life.

Keep in mind that you can meditate anytime, anywhere. Driving... you are driving.. nothing else.. concentrate on driving. Any activity.. try and be present.. be present as much as possible and meditation can occur all the time. Being present is the point of it all. Be here, now!

Good luck to you! I hope you stick with it!
Click to expand...

Thanks so much for sharing this its really useful to hear these sorts of details. I'll keep at it ;)
 
For me, meditation can be hard on one day, and very easy on the next day. Mood and state of mind affect the accessibility of the meditative state. If you know what the meditative state feels like, it is easier to access it just by remembering it. Focussing attention on the third eye is also something that can really help. It is a known and tested meditation-boosting technique.
 
DmnStr8 said:
Try and not fight the mind. Allow it to do it's thing. The more you try and clear thoughts, the more thoughts will come. What you resist, persists. Go with the flow of it...


...If I feel something, I try and feel it all. I go into it. I allow it to play out until is passes or until my time is up. Thoughts will come and go constantly. This is the time to observe how the mind works. Watch as it creates thought after thought after thought. Don't be irritated with the thoughts if you can help it. Try and laugh at yourself as much as possible...


...Keep in mind that you can meditate anytime, anywhere. Driving... you are driving.. nothing else.. concentrate on driving. Any activity.. try and be present.. be present as much as possible and meditation can occur all the time. Being present is the point of it all. Be here, now!

Good luck to you! I hope you stick with it!
Click to expand...

I can second all the points made here. Meditation is not just sitting still in a spot for a certain amount of time, or focusing your mind on a specific point. It can be all that, but Meditation in its essence is just being with what is. That can be done in any given moment of your daily life.

The trick to me is, to learn to be with what is without interfering. Just letting it all play out. If you can do that after a certain time your attention will automatically shift from thought to feeling. The mind games can not survive, if you stop feeding it. If you are aware, of what you put in your mind, with what you feed it, what thoughts you encourage, and also very importantly what and the amount of media and intellectual food you give to it, it all will become much easier.

So dont just meditate 20minutes once a day. Try to meditate all day!
 
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