Hey guys,

4 days ago I received a mail from dmt-nexus that a message has been posted here? Now I see it's been allot longer ago. So hope nobody minds I re-open this old post

Thanks for all the reply's, although sadly I just have read the most recent now. Yet everybody is been very helpfull, thank you.

In my life I always wanted to achieve enlightenment but was afraid I would completely loose my whole identity (and afraid dmt will cause this really fast). So I was always held back by being afraid of it and the responsebility's i had in my life.

So I was talking to my wife about it a couple of weeks ago and she agreed that I can go on trying to achieve that all the way and she will love me no matter what.

Now the following what I'm about to say maybe different from other people's experiences or believes:

A couple of days later I already knew the truth. That the state of enlightnement is'nt a state in wich you have feelings of bliss and extacy all the time. Where you need to forget who you are and don't have any desires, feelings or thoughts.

Believing those things will make you work for a state of being in the future.

I knew that I, and everybody for that matter, don't need to go to a place to become enlightened. They just need to stay in the now. To become enlightened just takes you about half a second.

So I stay in the now but feelings, thoughts, desires, emotions still all come like before. Totally nothing has changed on that part!!!

but I just accept those feelings that this is all part of me, part of the universe, so I give up the desire to control them. Hell, just yesterday I feld bad all day because of a loss of something dear to me. And I allow myself to be sad. And now I reallise that in the past I did'nt allow myself to feel bad or sad. I kept it in because i thought we as men need to be strong, or bad feelings are wrong.

Then I noticed that in my daily live I get allot of invite's to participate in life. Be it with people, situations or my own desires. So I just choose to participate (or not) and when I do, I always realise that I am just participating. I'm just an actor on stage. When I do this I do feel emotions and desires like before but now I am in control in what I participate. If I feel it's bad for me I just walk away.

Now I am totally free! I am not a monk or hobo, sitting on a bench 10 hours a day looking how beautifull life is. It even looks to me that all these books about enlightenment are a hoax because they tell you how you need to be. Read here what you can do to become enlightened. Why not: you are enlightened but you don't realise it.

Give up trying to become enlightened and see that you already have. Live the same life with the same feelings, thoughts, desires, emotions, ... en let them manifestate. Never try to control those or feel bad you have them. Accept yourself 100%. And from that point you will see all the people participating in live and you will feel sad how seriously they all take it. And do participate, but always remember you are only participating. Then you will be free forever.

And fortunately I hardly changed and my love for my wive is the same (or more). So love really is something more then a participation in life or a ego-based something.

Now I feel really ready to breakthrough on dmt. I will do it in the near future.

Hope this is helpfull to somebody. feel free to pm me if you like.