DutchEnergySystem
Rising Star
Hi everybody.
first of al I want to thank the dmt-nexus staff and its member for allowing me to post and/or read my story.
I have used dmt for the last 10 years of my life and during each trip I always tend to keep my eyes open. I found that there was always more to see rather than with closed eyes. This kept me from dosing high because if I did to much and kept my eyes open things just went to weird.
Before a couple of years ago, reading about it on the internet, I didnt know it was possible to breakthrough on dmt. Being to afraid to try that I never did it.
Last times I did dmt (eyes still open) it wasnt fun at all. It was so boring. Even at high dosing when things got super weird visually, it was absoluttely boring as hell. So I asked dmt (i often speak to entities induced by or the drug itself) and it told me it was time for me to breaktrough.
After reading about it I now understand that I will have a ego-death and that there is a big chance I will come back not like a person (what I believe now to be myself) but just a enlighted being.
Now I have a good understanding about what an ego represents because I spend about 5 years of my life not listening to the chitchat of it due to a psychosis.
After carefully thinking about it I decided not to do it because I have a wife and I think it would be the most selfish act I could do, doing something that could kill my personallity. I believe doing it would make me better but I made a commitment to her to always be there for her. I can not do something that might change that.
I now came to this site with allot of spelling errors to try and find out if I am doing the right thing.
Everywhere I read some people find it bliss afterwards and others are messed up because now they think everything is an illusion. I know I would LOVE to have the mindless yapping of my ego to stop. I never listen to it anyway (at least I try or I think I dont)
But I can never find out what it did to the people around these people? Their loved ones.
If you read this and think you have something to say, plz do. I would appreciate a comment. I would love to read what people think of my story.
first of al I want to thank the dmt-nexus staff and its member for allowing me to post and/or read my story.
I have used dmt for the last 10 years of my life and during each trip I always tend to keep my eyes open. I found that there was always more to see rather than with closed eyes. This kept me from dosing high because if I did to much and kept my eyes open things just went to weird.
Before a couple of years ago, reading about it on the internet, I didnt know it was possible to breakthrough on dmt. Being to afraid to try that I never did it.
Last times I did dmt (eyes still open) it wasnt fun at all. It was so boring. Even at high dosing when things got super weird visually, it was absoluttely boring as hell. So I asked dmt (i often speak to entities induced by or the drug itself) and it told me it was time for me to breaktrough.
After reading about it I now understand that I will have a ego-death and that there is a big chance I will come back not like a person (what I believe now to be myself) but just a enlighted being.
Now I have a good understanding about what an ego represents because I spend about 5 years of my life not listening to the chitchat of it due to a psychosis.
After carefully thinking about it I decided not to do it because I have a wife and I think it would be the most selfish act I could do, doing something that could kill my personallity. I believe doing it would make me better but I made a commitment to her to always be there for her. I can not do something that might change that.
I now came to this site with allot of spelling errors to try and find out if I am doing the right thing.
Everywhere I read some people find it bliss afterwards and others are messed up because now they think everything is an illusion. I know I would LOVE to have the mindless yapping of my ego to stop. I never listen to it anyway (at least I try or I think I dont)
But I can never find out what it did to the people around these people? Their loved ones.
If you read this and think you have something to say, plz do. I would appreciate a comment. I would love to read what people think of my story.