bahleille
Rising Star
hi everybody
I know the question is provocative, it is meant to be :twisted:
If I look back at the moments when I have been doing psychedelics, it is always moments when I should have been doing something constructive in the real world, like: just being responsible, growing responsible, taking care of myself, thinking in advance, building for the long term..
Each time I try to do this, say for example take the afternoon to sit down at a table and work on a project that is important for my life, i have lots of emotions disturbing me. Fear of the future, self-depreciation, or just thoughts driving me away from what I wanted to do at the first place.
I can’t seem to concentrate. I would like it to stop, so that i can go on with my projects.
In these moments the temptation is big to just take a psychedelics and see what comes out. But to me this would be the victory of « attention deficit disorder ».
I use to grow something out of my frustration in these moments: that is "question the why", try to look for answers as to why i am like that, where it might come from, what are the circumstances fostering my lack of concentration, or ability to perform work. It became like a job in itself, a pride, giving me the impression of growing some important abilities. Today I question this.
For example at the moment, while it is easy to concentrate on what I am writing here, i think the reason why I am not able to concentrate on the work I gave myself is because I am doing it alone, and I am tempted to conclude that man indeed is a social animal, and that there is a natural explanation to my problem.
On one side I think all these thoughts might just be reassuring bullshit with the consequence of driving my attention away from what I should be doing for my own sake. On the other side I might also be forcing myself to actually do the work as something reassuring somehow, but that might be driving me away from what I should be doing instead: be more social and be with people, exchange ideas, share life, and the work would be done in no time and would be enjoyable.
:surprised :shock:
:?:
I hope this is not too long and too fuzzy a story.
Let’s see what comes out of this post instead of out of the mushroom I have in my cupboard
I know the question is provocative, it is meant to be :twisted:
If I look back at the moments when I have been doing psychedelics, it is always moments when I should have been doing something constructive in the real world, like: just being responsible, growing responsible, taking care of myself, thinking in advance, building for the long term..
Each time I try to do this, say for example take the afternoon to sit down at a table and work on a project that is important for my life, i have lots of emotions disturbing me. Fear of the future, self-depreciation, or just thoughts driving me away from what I wanted to do at the first place.
I can’t seem to concentrate. I would like it to stop, so that i can go on with my projects.
In these moments the temptation is big to just take a psychedelics and see what comes out. But to me this would be the victory of « attention deficit disorder ».
I use to grow something out of my frustration in these moments: that is "question the why", try to look for answers as to why i am like that, where it might come from, what are the circumstances fostering my lack of concentration, or ability to perform work. It became like a job in itself, a pride, giving me the impression of growing some important abilities. Today I question this.
For example at the moment, while it is easy to concentrate on what I am writing here, i think the reason why I am not able to concentrate on the work I gave myself is because I am doing it alone, and I am tempted to conclude that man indeed is a social animal, and that there is a natural explanation to my problem.
On one side I think all these thoughts might just be reassuring bullshit with the consequence of driving my attention away from what I should be doing for my own sake. On the other side I might also be forcing myself to actually do the work as something reassuring somehow, but that might be driving me away from what I should be doing instead: be more social and be with people, exchange ideas, share life, and the work would be done in no time and would be enjoyable.
:surprised :shock:

I hope this is not too long and too fuzzy a story.
Let’s see what comes out of this post instead of out of the mushroom I have in my cupboard