JDSalinger
Rising Star
Hello all, I have a question that has been nagging at me for some time now since my first (and only) DMT experience. In hyperspace I learnt/got shown something, something very profound which shock my very being and completely changed me as a person. I did not understand why because I did not remember what it was that was shown to me, though there it was lurking, growing, in my subconscious. Previous to all this I had received a very good job offer career wise and was going to call up and take it the day after trying DMT for the first time. Not only did I turn the job down but I handed in my notice at my current job, have terminated the contract on the unit I live in with my partner and have decided to move back in with my parents (who I haven't lived with for 8 years!). All of this so we can save up and backpack through South America for a year and to return and go back to university.
last week my partner and I had a life changing experience with LSD, she pointed out some fractal patterns and said, 'hey does this remind you of DMT a little?', casually I said 'yes' and BAM! Instantly we both had full recollection of our first and definitely not last hyperspace experience, with that was a sharpened thought process one that was rationalising and reasoning better than my conscious mind normally could but still a fraction of what it was on DMT. We were over come to say the least, there we sat and strolled in a beautiful park discussing and exploring the ramifications of what we had seen. I am hesitant to tell you all what I saw out of fear as I haven't told anyone (partner excluded) yet I have an overwhelming love for you all and feel safe sharing here. In my introduction essay I attached a short trip report which I had written the day after and in it I was foggy on some details so I will explain where I left off as best I can with the limited words I have at my disposal. I was in a white cube with a slightly reflective surface. There I heard a voice and it said 'You've won' instantly I thought 'won what?' and at the same time I received a reply, 'the answer', and I though 'what answer?' again at the same time, 'to the meaning of life'. Then I knew, there in that cube that life, my life, our life had no meaning and that everything I have come to know and belief as real was not. I, although I had no body, was plucked out of maybe of my own mouth by that mouths fingers for a brief time was a taste then as I was plucked out became nothing more than a noise a frequency, then all together ceased to exist. This scared me for obvious reasons and I tried to ground myself, I knew that I was on the beach with my partner and a friend and I tried to reconnect to my body and I couldn't, so I tried to talk, 'Stop, I want to stop', they heard me and touched me, I was back on earth which made me feel better yet in that haze of recollection like after a dream, before it disappears, I realised that it was impossible to be scared because if what I was scared of was to be true then being scared was irrelevant and I was filled with calm.
While on LSD I had may hours to think and I thought all through that day and night and still half way through the next day before I finally slept. The conclusion I came to was that I have never before had such a vast intellect, it is so much so that even now I cannot fathom it and there I held something to be a 'truth' and that was that none of this was real, at least be the definitions which we measure it and therefore this life had no meaning. It sounds withdrawn and bleak at first, I know but it isn't, it is the most lovely feeling, it has set me free. Though we can never be truly free, not in this life only the animals are and it saddens me when we cage them. My mind is open, I haven't felt so alive or so smart again it such a long time. It has given me back something, something which I had once but have forgotten and that is my innocence. I started writing this with trepidation but am finishing with an overwhelming sense of joy and I and filled with a love for all things natural including humans and where I have gotten angry at my fellow beings, rape, abuse, terrorism etc. I only have sadness and pity. Its is such a beautiful thing, is it not?
last week my partner and I had a life changing experience with LSD, she pointed out some fractal patterns and said, 'hey does this remind you of DMT a little?', casually I said 'yes' and BAM! Instantly we both had full recollection of our first and definitely not last hyperspace experience, with that was a sharpened thought process one that was rationalising and reasoning better than my conscious mind normally could but still a fraction of what it was on DMT. We were over come to say the least, there we sat and strolled in a beautiful park discussing and exploring the ramifications of what we had seen. I am hesitant to tell you all what I saw out of fear as I haven't told anyone (partner excluded) yet I have an overwhelming love for you all and feel safe sharing here. In my introduction essay I attached a short trip report which I had written the day after and in it I was foggy on some details so I will explain where I left off as best I can with the limited words I have at my disposal. I was in a white cube with a slightly reflective surface. There I heard a voice and it said 'You've won' instantly I thought 'won what?' and at the same time I received a reply, 'the answer', and I though 'what answer?' again at the same time, 'to the meaning of life'. Then I knew, there in that cube that life, my life, our life had no meaning and that everything I have come to know and belief as real was not. I, although I had no body, was plucked out of maybe of my own mouth by that mouths fingers for a brief time was a taste then as I was plucked out became nothing more than a noise a frequency, then all together ceased to exist. This scared me for obvious reasons and I tried to ground myself, I knew that I was on the beach with my partner and a friend and I tried to reconnect to my body and I couldn't, so I tried to talk, 'Stop, I want to stop', they heard me and touched me, I was back on earth which made me feel better yet in that haze of recollection like after a dream, before it disappears, I realised that it was impossible to be scared because if what I was scared of was to be true then being scared was irrelevant and I was filled with calm.
While on LSD I had may hours to think and I thought all through that day and night and still half way through the next day before I finally slept. The conclusion I came to was that I have never before had such a vast intellect, it is so much so that even now I cannot fathom it and there I held something to be a 'truth' and that was that none of this was real, at least be the definitions which we measure it and therefore this life had no meaning. It sounds withdrawn and bleak at first, I know but it isn't, it is the most lovely feeling, it has set me free. Though we can never be truly free, not in this life only the animals are and it saddens me when we cage them. My mind is open, I haven't felt so alive or so smart again it such a long time. It has given me back something, something which I had once but have forgotten and that is my innocence. I started writing this with trepidation but am finishing with an overwhelming sense of joy and I and filled with a love for all things natural including humans and where I have gotten angry at my fellow beings, rape, abuse, terrorism etc. I only have sadness and pity. Its is such a beautiful thing, is it not?