Just an Essay for You.

[LightDancer]

Hey guys,

It's so good to finally be here. I have been researching for at least 6 months, but probably quite a bit longer than that.

Before I start telling you about what led me here, I will tell you about myself. I've always been the straight A kid, but always in trouble at home for doing things just to see what would happen. I've always felt 'disconnected' from the world and society. I've always been the kid who said weird things, read weird books and never played sport. I was one of the best examples of a 'loser' and a 'nerd' that was out there. I was so glad when I left school, but I was a bit disappointed that people don't really change. They still don't understand me. When I was 21 I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. This answered soo many questions, And gave me a term in which to work from, rather than 'stabbing in the dark'. My focus went from "what is wrong with me" to "how can I make things easier for myself, how can I carve my own niche to fit into, and most importantly, what can I do to learn more?"

It all began when I went out to a nightclub one night, attempting to learn how to socialise better. Alcohol helped slow down the anxiety enough to process it before becoming overwhelming. I began talking to a guy. He seemed very.. Different. We got talking throughout the night, and by the time the club closed, we just kept talking while we walked home. I decided to walk him to his house just so we could keep talking. This guy kept throwing out random lines that just.. Didn't fit his skill base, or how I perceived him to look. He drew me in with those interesting words of wisdom that just didn't fit him. We eventually made it to his house, I was going to go home, but he asked me if id like to keep chatting for a while.

I don't remember exactly how the conversation steered to DMT, but I remember that he asked me if I knew what it was. I said no and that I didn't know anything about any drug, just that my research leant towards saying that drugs don't seem to be as bad as the government makes them out to be. (This is completely true. I never touched a single illegal drug until I was 21.5 years old) He went on to explain that it is "A marvellous drug that lets you see beyond this world, and your whole self just melts away, and you can see.. You can just see.. Everything". Then he showed me a few videos on youtube where people were talking about it, and I just couldn't believe what these people were saying. It sounded so amazing, so unreal, and yet, it fit with my spiritual belief that no matter how crazy it sounds, unless there is some way to prove that it is not, then do not believe that it is not. (The other half of that also says that unless there is some way to prove that it is, then do not believe that it is. - Essentially my belief in something being true or untrue is in a constant state of limbo unless there is some very heavy, undeniable proof on one side.) My time with that man came to an end, and I went home.

I mulled over the things I had learnt. I decided to research DMT by myself. I came to the conclusion that there is simply too many similar stories and accounts, there are too many reports of native people using things to reach this.. This.. Space. I simply cannot discount this. I need to try to see if I can achieve it myself.. To see what I can learn, to see what I am capable of.. To just. Experience whatever it is that I can.

I began with a viewpoint that few people understood, and I have undertaken so much research that my 'self' has changed already, even though I have never had any drug other than a little bit of pot here and there with friends. Maybe I 'should' try some other psychedelic drugs before I touch DMT.. but I just have a feeling that I cannot explain.. That the other drugs will not allow me to find what I am looking for.

I am hoping that joining here will help me to create that link, help me learn about myself, the world, existence.. Everything that is. And then maybe one day, I will be able to pass that knowledge onto others.

 

[microdots]

Welcome to the nexus the place to expand your mind enjoy your stay we are here for you

 

[LightDancer]

Thankyou

I was just coming back here to add on (I have a bad habit of adding on things, terrible business, or frustrating at least!), that as much as I desire the experience, I know I am not yet ready to do it yet. I need to grow far more than I currently am before I am ready.

 

[Spaced Out 2]

Welcome to the nexus lightdancer. You have come to the right community for your research into DMT, take your time and cover it all, I have a feeling your going to enjoy all the reading you can do on here. Tons of great information as well as people to help. Again welcome friend,

 

[Just Say Know]

Hi Lightdancer! i really relate to you experience with Autism Spectrum Disorder (the new term for autism; which now all of autism is Autism Spectrum Disorder); autism runs in my family. most people in my family have aspergers syndrome.

Try looking into other psychedelics for sure! many psychedelics have interesting qualities that may open one's mind. i hope to see you around in the chat btw because i'm very interested in the effects of psychedelics and ehteogens on autistic individuals.

you might consider LSA for a few reasons; primarily two reasons: empathy and entactogenesis.

LSA can create Entactogenesis and In My Experience; it's one of the most profound states of Entactogenesis i've ever been able to have the honor of experiencing. then again i've never experienced other entactogens like MDMA or even entactogenesis from psychedelics such as Psylocybin or others. Entactogenesis means "touching from within" and this heavily described LSA as an Entactogenic substance. LSA in my experience can affect alot of things like your sense of emotion and experiencing emotion.

for me; LSA was very profound. it isn't DMT by any means; but it is very profound on it's own as an experience. perhaps try it sometimes if you're interested? also have you considered using other forums like bluelight? bluelight is a really really great forum for answering a wide variety of drug questions. so is erowid. ohh and Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (maps)

i used LSA extensively with my sibling. LSA is best used in the presence of someone you trust or have a deep bond with; try your friend you talked to - he seems really amazing for conversation from what you described. you might also consider making the most out of LSA through doing a good preperation.

are you familiar with the basics of what an psychedelic experience is like? there's different terms of language you might want to know but i'll try to explain it the best i can.

the most basic way to describe a psychedelic experience is through a few phases; first there's the beginning and preparatory phase. this phase includes the mindset and preconscieved ideas and intentions one builds about a drug from researching the drug in question, talking to people about the drug, thinking about one's intentions for using the drug, shaping and meditating a mindset/intention bias.

sometimes it's okay to have a preconcieved intention for using a psychedelics; other times its great to go in without any intentions or anything. i would reccommend starting using LSA and doing some creative writting your first time. creative writting and psychedelics go swell together!

but then there's the actual experience; which involves set and setting. lets talk about the different types of Set(s) and Setting(s)

Perceptual Set(s) and Setting(s): Perception is what you see, hear, smell, feel, taste, and think. Perceptional Set's might include your cognitive ability to see, hear, smell, feel, taste, and think. it might include the perceptual behaviors you engage in; like listening to certain types of music or reading certain types of literature before you trip to influence your set. setting would be more along the lines of actually engaging in media's like reading, writting, listening to music, etc DURING the trip.

Cultural Set's and Setting's: culture can influence your experience greatly; whether that's a lack of cultural connectivity or if there's an abundance of it. Culture and more specifically language allows you to share idea's; which could be a part of the experience or an influencing factor. your intention of using spiritually, recreationally, or theraputically may or may not be influenced by culture.


Generally Set and Setting refers to the individual (set) and the individual's environment (setting). it's like psychology and sociology; the science of the influencing factors within (psychology) and the external influencing factors (sociology).

But then after the experience you go through a process of "integration"; which is the most important part of the experience. it's the part where you take what all you experienced into context and you learn what it means on a deeper level. Integration can include group talking; perhaps ask your friend to be willing to devote a few hours to discussing openly what you went through and how it's effected you and whether or not it changed anything about you.

integration is my favorite part of the experience; and it can last for up to months to years for some people. in my opinion, the integration process is the part that you should find most valuable.

 

[Spaced Out 2]

Nice input JSK :thumb_up:

 

[Just Say Know]

Nice input JSK :thumb_up:

thanks! i try to be helpful

 

[Spaced Out 2]

That's what it's all about here on the nexus

 

[Just Say Know]

So Lightdancer; what etheogen/psychedelic are you considering to start out with? many of them have their perks and qualities and there's no rushing straight forward into DMT until you're fully ready.

 

[LightDancer]

So Lightdancer; what etheogen/psychedelic are you considering to start out with? many of them have their perks and qualities and there's no rushing straight forward into DMT until you're fully ready.

Honestly, I don't really have much desire to try anything other than DMT at the moment. that may change, but currently I'm fairly set on just DMT. Nothing else has really caught the inquisitiveness that DMT has, nothing else that I've come across seems to be able to compare the lack of physical damage to the body. It's a short trip, and there's very little evidence suggesting that it's addictive. And frankly, based on my research, there IS nothing else like it.

It seems like DMT is more than just.. a drug. It's a tool.. Many say that if you're looking for answers, DMT is not for you, it will only create more questions. But I think.. If we look purely for answers, then we will never fully comprehend what those answers mean. An answer is simply just, a small part to an even bigger question. How can we continue to learn, continue to grow, if we EVER stop questioning? what if more questions ARE our answers?


Oh, and I do plan on replying and analysing everyone else's replies so far. I sometimes struggle to break down messages and respond accordingly. I will get there eventually, but if you want to remind me, just ask again on here and I should get back to you

(I have theories about why I struggle with memory and communicating, but I think trying to explain my mind's hyperactiveness and spoon theory may derail from the threads intentions a little bit. Essentially I have too many thoughts all at once and my brain gets overloaded trying to do too many things)

Thankyou for all the welcoming comments, everyone. I'm fairly certain I will enjoy my time here, and I hope that it will be for as long as I am needed here.

 

[LightDancer]

Oh and JSK, I'm also highly interested in how psychedelics affect people with ASD.. There's so many reports on what happens with a "typical" brain.. But what about brains that appear to be.. a little different? Trust me, I will be making reports and comparisons for myself in the very least

 

[Just Say Know]

all psychedelics are tools. in fact all drugs and psychoactives are tools. when you give a man a hammer you give him the ability to build a house; but that doesn't mean he knows how. sometimes with the tool itself comes the instruction manual and the practice of using it.

the problem with the instruction manual and practice of using for psychedelic tools is that those such tools have thousands of ways to be used and each person responds and uses the tool differently than the next person using the same exact tool.

the thing is; no psychedelic is better or more efficient than the next. they all react differently with different people and they are all helpful in their own ways. i think that DMT is for anyone who is willing to undergo an ordeal of death without the risk of dying. or even birth for that matter.

being on the ASD spectrum; i find it interesting when you learn about other people on the spectrum who are using psychedelics for different reasons and such people obtaining different accomplishments. i feel like since each person in the spectrum is as individual and unique as each snowflake blanketing the ground on winter that each person will find different psychedelics more helpful in building their metaphorical "house".

personally i think that LSA would give you a life changing experience much like DMT would; but at a slower and easier to comprehend pace. personally i like psychedelics that take more time and more work to unravel the mind; at least when compared to more powerful psychedelics.

my reason for this is because i feel like it does the job more effectively over time. it's easier to integrate a 12 hour LSA trip than it is to Integrate a 30 minute DMT trip. on the other hand; LSA (or even LSD or Psylocybin) wouldn't compare to the length you'll span and the progress you'll make when implementing DMT into your practices.

personally i like all the psychedelics. they are all very unique and offer something valuable to mankind. DMT is however special in its own right and deserves a special respect.

 

[Just Say Know]

can i ask if you've ever had to deal with Avoidant Personality Disorder? it's common with the ASD Spectrum. i've had to deal with it my entire life until i discovered LSA. now it's still there; but it's different. it's like there's a way "out" of it. a way i can find; a way that leads me into communication and a way where i get to feel comfortable. before APD was all encompassing and practically devoured me.

 

[○]

Most excellent intro. Very in depth

Welcome to the Nexus!

 

[AcaciaConfusedYah]

Most excellent intro. Very in depth

Welcome to the Nexus!

+1:thumb_up: :thumb_up: :thumb_up:

 

[DeDao]

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